Snails & Oysters: Where Are All the Bisexual Male Celebrities?

Welcome back, ladies and gents. Last time we had a really rousing discourse on labels which I found most enlightening. I hope you all did as well!

While researching the particulars of that column, I came across something very interesting. There's a peculiar phenomenon taking place in the weird world of celebrity that many of you have probably noticed: women are coming forward by the baker’s dozen and announcing their bisexuality. In case you haven't noticed, Google it for yourselves. If you do a search for "female bisexual celebrity," you get a half dozen solid hits.

Try the same search using "male" instead of "female" and you get ... a lot of articles asking where all of the bi men are at. Most of them are by AfterElton!

Anna Paquin, Lady Gaga, and Lindsay Lohan are just a few of the notable female celebrities to take up the bi label recently. Even Drew Barrymore, the woman I am destined to marry one day, has discussed her bisexual tendencies.

With so many top tier female stars coming out, it begs the question, where are the guys?

Lady Gaga — bisexual, Anna Paquin — bisexual
Billie Joe Armstrong — nope, David Bowie — not anymore

Unfortunately, my dudes are going the other way. Billie Joe Armstrong, lead singer of Green Day, came out as bisexual back in '95. However, as recently as 2010 he backtracked, saying, "I don't really classify myself as anything."

Similarly and even more famously, David Bowie declared himself to be bisexual in the 70's, but then he recanted in the 80's. He indicated that his earlier interest in bisexuality was just a part of the times. In 2002, he further clouded the issue by saying, "I knew what I wanted to be, which was a songwriter and a performer, and I felt that bisexuality became my headline over here for so long. America is a very puritanical place, and I think it stood in the way of so much I wanted to do."

What that means is open to speculation.

Those mealy-mouthed equivocations are a far cry from Drew Barrymore’s statement, "I have always considered myself bisexual. I think a woman and a woman together are beautiful, just as a man and a woman together are beautiful."

The biggest name we guys have today is Alan Cumming and ... that's pretty much it. Michael Stipe would be a great person for us to point to, but he doesn't claim the bisexual label, saying only that he has had relationships with both men and women. This would make him bi, save for the fact that he rejects all labels, so he cannot be claimed by the bi community.

Meanwhile, in 2006 Broadway's Raul Esparza told the New York Times he was bisexual, but he doesn't seem to have discussed it since then, so he's kind of hard to look to as a role model. And I don't mean to diminish the likes of Ryan Buell or Mike Manning, but we're talking about big name actors and let’s be honest — they’re not in Drew Barrymore’s league.

Alan Cumming, Raul Esparza, Mike Manning

I reject the idea that this trend of women coming out as bisexual is happening because it is simply easier to be a female bisexual than a male bisexual. That is a gross oversimplification of the extremely involved and multifaceted topic of sexuality, and I prefer to make things more complicated, not less. But seriously, you can’t just make such a broad generalization.

Besides, it demeans the bravery of these women who have come out. Doing so puts their careers at stake and they should be lauded for their honesty. Granted, this gives them a certain exotic appeal to some straight men, but to those "family values" folks out there, it makes them morally bankrupt.