Interview with Folksinger Eric Himan

AE: Clearly there are performers who’ve made the decision that being out would be limiting for their career. Have you found being out limiting or has it been something else for you?
EH: I have to say, being an out male singer somehow has been limiting, now. Before, it never really was. Being out just as a person is never limiting. Because I always wanted to do that. It’s like our role models — especially gay men in music — a lot of them didn’t even come out, and some of them came out in really horrible ways, really embarrassing ways. …

People see that and they’re like “Oh, he’s with you.” And it’s kind of like crappy by association. So I always knew I wanted to be an out performer; I never wanted to hide. I didn’t want that baggage. And I’m glad that I’ve done that. But it’s funny now that I’m trying to go to the next level, I feel like now I’m starting to hit some kind of [attitude from people in the music industry] like “I don’t know if I want to take on a gay performer.” Do you know what I mean? It seems like … I’m kind of like a wild card.

AE: Do you feel a larger responsibility — I’m not sure that’s the right word, maybe challenge — to get to the next level because you’re out? There are people who believe you’ve limited yourself [by being out], and to a certain extent if you do get to that next level, not only is it a success for you, but it makes a broader statement about all the ways people are limited. Do you know what I’m trying to get at?
EH: I know exactly what you’re trying to get at, and you know what? I do feel that responsibility. I’ve toured the country many times … especially [when I play] LGBT youth centers and playing AIDS benefits, and doing a lot of different things. And always having people say to me — whether I want to hear it or not — everybody’s like, “Oh, when you’re big and famous this is going to be really great.” And just so many people say that, and I think to myself, I wonder how that would happen? Especially with the way the world is and whatnot.

And you know what? I do want to see it, because I don’t feel that’s happened yet. I mean everybody compares me — when you talk about out performers — to Elton John. That’s kind of different. And George Michael, and that was really different [alluding to Michael’s infamous restroom arrest].

AE: Different in that Elton John’s music-making is different, or in that Elton didn’t say he was bisexual until many years in, and then it was 20 more years before he said he was gay?
EH: Because of that. … You didn’t see anybody who kind of just started, who was just gay. Who it was fine with, because they were great musicians and they’re gay. Rufus Wainwright — and everybody compares me to Rufus when it comes to that, because he was one of the first people who started out and was an out performer from the get-go.

But he’s also the son of famous Canadian musicians, and he had a whole different experience coming from that than I do from just growing up in a military family, you know? Going into music when everybody else told me not to, being out when everybody else told me not to. It’s kind of like not so much a proving thing as it is … I know I could have done it a long time ago. And I just want to show myself that I was right.

AE: When you’re able to accomplish all you have with such limited means, it implies someone who’s extremely driven. It seems that people who experience really profound loss early in life, especially the death of loved ones, sometimes become very driven people. [Himan lost both his mother and a sister in a car accident, and subsequent caregivers also passed away when he was young.] Do you see that kind of connection in your life?
EH: I see that connection in other people’s lives. I think maybe I’m too far in my own life … to [be able to] pull it apart and see what the effect of losing loved ones early on does.

AE: But you don’t personally see the connection between that loss …
EH: Other than like … you go on. Like, you learn to just keep going. You learn to not hover over your bad experiences and treat them as like, well, this happened in my life, and that’s what I’m now known for 'cause I’m like this struggling, lost person. It shows you can have a tremendous amount of loss in a childhood like that, but you can grow from it. Like you can find the positive in a situation and build yourself up. Maybe that’s what it is. Maybe people who don’t have that might not be as motivated to pull themselves out of something like that. I think maybe that’s the connection.

AE: I’ve heard you talk in interviews about some of the different experiences you’ve had playing Pride events. Could you tell just a little bit about your experiences, in terms of people being really appreciative. Also, maybe seeing strange protesters.
EH: The strange protesters is when I go to smaller areas. Because in bigger areas I feel like people are a little more metropolitan about it and assume that this is [laughs] the way it’s going to be. … I mean, when I played this weekend in Richmond, I didn’t see any protesters. But when you go to … a very small area like Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, there were more than I’ve ever seen.

AE: On a more positive note, what are gay people’s reactions to you like?
EH: It’s a totally positive connection. And people come up to me and thank me … and talk about what I say and relate it to their lives. It’s definitely a great experience. And [if there are protesters] I don’t let the protesters ruin that.

But you’ve got to look at the protesters with a grain of salt. I mean, the thing about Harrisburg that I found funny was that many of them were really docile people holding really loud, obnoxious signs. It looked like somebody walked up and was like, “I’m just going to put this right here, and I’ll be right back.” Because many of them didn’t seem like very aggressive people [and yet] with these very aggressive signs. You kind of laugh at it and go, well, maybe they’re losing their mojo in fighting for this. Because their signs speak more than their personalities.

AE: So tell me what it was like playing the Closing Ceremonies of the Gay Games [this past July in Chicago].
EH: It was huge. I didn’t even process it until I got off the stage. It was like being in a rumble. Like all instinctual, because it’s so overwhelming.

AE: How many people were there?
EH: Like 80,000 people. We were in the middle of Wrigley Field, and … I don’t know, there are just so many little dots out there, and you’re in the middle of the field, and people don’t look like people, they just look like dots. And you have to remind yourself that there are a lot of people in this place. And then everybody’s cheering for you. … It’s like the greatest experience, to be around that many happy, positive people. Everybody’s there for a reason, a very proactive reason. It was really overwhelming.

And then afterwards, I was like “Wow! Did I just do that? Did I just play in the middle of Wrigley Field?” And then the minute I hit my last chord, Cyndi Lauper started playing “Time After Time.” Did that just happen? It was very surreal, but it was really cool.

For Eric Himan’s tour dates, how to buy his albums,
and more info, visit his website at erichiman.com.