Interview with Davis of The Real World: Denver

Years before Brokeback Mountain, Will & Grace and even before Ellen, MTV’s cornerstone of the reality genre, The Real World, often included a gay cast member. The show’s 18th season, which debuted on Nov. 22 and is set in Denver, is no different. This season’s gay guy is J. Davis Mallory, aka Davis, a Georgia boy from a conservative Christian background who recently graduated from a Christian college.

On the first episode, he tells his fellow cast mates that he loves Jesus Christ — and that he’s gay. But Davis’ coming-out — a process that just happened in the last year — hasn’t been easy. He has been estranged intermittently from his parents and is sometimes overwhelmed by the outpouring of need from young gay people with similar conservative Christian backgrounds, looking for answers. We talked with him about how he is dealing with becoming a gay role model, being a “masculine” gay guy, and how The Real World has affected his relationship with his family.

AfterElton.com: In some of the casting specials and some of the press, you’ve been billed as the sexually confused/gay guy. So, I guess my first question is, after four months on the Real World, are you still confused?
Davis Mallory: Um, yes, I guess so. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m confused as in [do] I think that I’m bisexual or [do] I think that I’m straight. I’m gay; I know that. I like boys more than girls. … I guess during the process of going on the show, I didn’t find any guys in the house attractive. I did find the girls very attractive. They were coming on to me and vice-versa. I guess I’m bisexual in a sense. But I … I don’t know. … You know what … this answer probably proves it to you that I am still confused.

AE: You have a boyfriend now?
DM: Yes. We’ve dated for … 11 months.

AE: My understanding is he went on an episode of the show; is that right?
DM: Yes, he came and visited me.

AE: Was he apprehensive about doing that?
DM: Yeah. … We went to high school together, so we both grew up in real conservative Georgia families [where] having a gay son is just ghastly. His parents aren’t religious like mine are, but they’re still a very prominent, wealthy family in the area, and [they] didn’t want — it was OK that he was gay — but they didn’t want it on national television. So he had to do a lot of convincing to [get them to] let him come. And I think that his parents were still hoping that if he came, he wouldn’t be on any episodes at all. But I think he’s going to be. So that’s kind of upsetting for his parents right now.

AE: What’s the reaction been so far in terms of people who come up to you or recognize you?
DM: I’ve had amazing feedback from people. If you knew how many people who say they fit the exact mold of the gay person that I am. I mean, [I feel like] I could out the world. … I’m on MySpace, and I get hundreds of kids saying they can relate completely to me, that they love the fact that I’m a masculine gay guy, [that] I’m not the type of feminine, flamboyant characters they’ve had on [television]. They like that aspect.

Or Christian kids will be like, “How do you know I won’t go to hell? Because I’m worried about that.” Or, “How can I come out to my parents?” I’m getting a lot of kids who are struggling with the same issues, sort of putting me as this role model, and yet I’m going through the exact same thing as they are. And I’m not experienced. I’ve not been out for years. I just came out a year ago.

AE: Do you feel that some of the things that people are projecting onto you and the expectations they have are a little overwhelming?
DM: They are. They really are. In fact, I am trying to get involved with some organization … who can equip me with the answers to give to these kids. People keep asking me, “Should I come out to my parents like you did?” And I’m telling them, “I don’t know,” because what if they have a really big problem with it? And so, I want to be a gay advocate, work in gay civil rights …

AE: You do want to do that sort of thing?
DM: Oh really, very much so. I’m trying to get involved right now with some organization that I can point kids toward when they come to me, because I’m no expert at all. This is so new for me.

I’ve had some people write me messages like, “You poor kid, what you’re going through is terrible, but there are organizations out there that you should look into that will make you feel better and more confident that you’re going to heaven,” and that being gay isn’t choice, and that it’s not a sin, and, you know, Bible verses that are in keeping with that.

I want to find things like that to get myself plugged in, because I feel like every gay person … goes through “Is this a sin?” and all that. But I’m not equipped with Bible verses or equipped with the knowledge to really explain perfectly that you’re not going to hell and that this isn’t something that you just chose, and that this is something that’s normal.