Interview with "Big Brother"'s Joe Barber

Big Brother is gay-friendly. No, I'm not talking about George Orwell's Big Brother, or even our current shadowy government. I'm talking about the CBS reality competition that forces 14 people to live together for roughly three months with no outside contact of any kind. The "houseguests," as the contestants are so charmingly called, are competing for a large cash prize. Each week they vote out one person until there are only two left, at which point the voted-out houseguests choose who wins the grand prize.

We had our first openly gay houseguest in the second season with the (overly) emotional Bunky. The third season brought us fan favorite Marcellas Reynolds. The fifth installment introduced Will Wilke to gay fans everywhere, and Beau Beasley graced the house for season 6. Marcellas returned in season seven for Big Brother: All Stars. In all these seasons, however, the gay men were treated as secondary characters. While the show focused on the romantic misadventures of the straight players, the gay houseguests were relegated to the role of the sexless, sassy sidekick.

All that changed with the current season. Two openly gay men, Joe and Dustin, were cast for the show, making Big Brother history. But not only were there two gay men in the house; these men were also a part of this season's "Enemies Twist." Joe and Dustin were ex-boyfriends ... and let's just say their relationship did not end well. In fact, when Joe found out Dustin would be in the house, he immediately set about trying to turn the other houseguests against him, even accusing Dustin of giving him an STD.

While the airing of their dirty laundry might not be exactly what we were looking for in terms of gay representation, it does indicate a big step forward for the show. For the first time ever, gay men are being treated as whole human beings — flaws and all — equal to their straight counterparts.

Unfortunately, Joe was voted out in the second elimination of the season, but AfterElton.com was able to score an interview with him the very next morning following his eviction. He hadn't even had a chance to watch the show yet.

AfterElton.com: Thanks so much for talking to us.
Joe Barber: No problem. It's my pleasure. If it's for the gay community, I'm there.

AE: First things first, did you have fun?
JB: I had a blast. When I first found out Dustin would be in the house I thought it was ruined, but everything turned out well, I had so much fun, and I feel like I grew a lot from the experience.

AE: I think this was the first time Big Brother had two gay men in the house together at the same time.
JB: Yep, it was!

AE: Do you think that was just a coincidence or was CBS going for something different?
JB: Oh, I think they were just open. Now that more shows have been on the air — it is 2007, after all — I think they were more willing to have two gay men on the screen at the same time. Constantly, in my entrance interviews, I dared them to put another gay man in the house because I never thought that it would happen. So I was pleasantly surprised, even though it was my ex, and even though I hated him with every fiber in my body when the game began, I was pleasantly surprised and really proud that CBS was willing to do that.

AE: The other houseguests seemed pretty off put by the discussion of gonorrhea. Do you wish you hadn't brought that up?
JB: No, not at all. I'm proud that I brought up the gonorrhea. I wanted to show that you can be a confident, strong, smart, intelligent person, and these things can still happen to you. They happen to anybody, and everybody can be affected by it. If people are able to discuss that openly and willingly, something's going to be done about it. If people just sit there and they're embarrassed to talk about it or embarrassed to step forward, I hope that people can take my example and say, "Wow, that guy did it. He's still kind of funny and cool. He's not a total loser." So, once people discuss it, more can be done about it. If one single person could have a conversation about it with a friend or family member because of what I said, then that's all that matters.

AE: Your first reaction to Dustin was to take an aggressive stance, trying to quickly turn the houseguests against him before they even met him, but you two quickly agreed to keep things calm to avoid drawing negative attention on yourselves. We saw a lot of frank discussion between you and Dustin about your relationship by the last few days; how much of that was strategy and how much was your relationship taking a natural step towards closure?
JB: Actually, I'd say it was about 50/50. I needed to talk to Dustin and touch base with him about his vote, but also, I held so much guilt from all the things I did to Dustin. After he cheated on me and we broke up, I went through his life and just decimated it. I took his friends, I destroyed his life, I destroyed his credibility, I did all these malicious things. And of course, when you first do them, you're all proud of yourself and happy. Then, you know, a month goes by and you feel like a piece of crap. You're just like, "Wow, I did that to this person, and I damaged them and hurt them just as badly as they hurt me."

It's not just that in life. It's not just an eye for an eye. I wish I could have been the bigger person. All I wanted from Dustin for the last year that he hadn't talked to me was the opportunity to tell him all that I had done and apologize for it, and I finally did get that. After I'd apologized, and after I got that guilt off my conscience, he immediately tried to attack me more. I realized he still wasn't over it. He still had so much anger inside of his heart that in moving forward, I'm going to be a stronger, better person, and he's still going to be that bitter ex. I'm sad for him, and I just wish him the best.