A Gay Valentine's Day

My partner Jamez surprised me in Jan of1996 with a set of matching sterling silver "Posey Rings" for our 10th anniversary.  Part of the surprise was that it was 2 months early.  What makes it romantic is that it was on the Eiffel Tower.

But sometimes, being romantic is just cuddling on the couch watching a movie on a rare evening when we're both home and have time to ourselves.   

Don't trouble yourself Doctor -- I'm a celebrity, I'll write my own prescription.

what sweet stories. ;-)

i also gotta say i really like the photo of Chad and Tshombe.  :-D

After meeting each other online and falling in love that very day (I know you're barfing now but it's true!!!), we’ve been together almost 2 years, officially blending our families and moving into our “American dream" last May. Since then, OMG we have learned SO MUCH about each other in that time. Not quite the long run as many of you guys. But we’re sure trying to make a forever go of it. He is my best friend and he tells me I am his. (He sure treats me like it!)  Ok. Onto the main topic.  

Uh, Romance? 

Hm. 

I wouldn’t say our relationship is really characterized by much romance. I’m definitely the romantic. Him? Not so much.  When we were dating, separated by 1200 miles, we talked on the phone (thank God for free Cingular-to-Cingular calls) and he would play me music for hours, sometimes even singing to me (!). We would fall asleep together, still on the phone, waking the next morning and still be on the phone! Those nights of music make for some very romantic memories.

Now, about the most romantic thing we do is light all the candles and listen to music, or sit outside with a glass of wine and look at the river, or snuggle up together on the couch and watch TV—which happens to be one of my most favorite things in the world to do! (One of the things, I stress.)  

Now and then we’ll enjoy a nice dinner out during which he’ll grab my hand and hold it as we sit across from each other. But to me, romance is characterized by little things like that.

The way he puts his hand on my leg and holds my hand while we commute to work.
The way he pulls me up close to him and holds me as we fall asleep each night.
When he brings me a glass of wine after a long day.

[Although I wouldn’t refuse a gigantic bouquet of flowers delivered to my office. haha]

I guess I would like him to be more romantic but it’s not something I simply have to have. I think I much prefer, considering his personality, the spontaneous sort of romance.

As far as today is concerned, we both agreed that Valentine’s Day was not something we felt like we needed to celebrate. (Although there’s NOTHING wrong with it. I’m somewhat of a cynic, always having considered it a day for all the “neanderthallic” men to make up for being such slovenly partners to their wives. That and another Hallmark conspiracy. Either way, in my past marriages, I bought in. And, while he and I were in the long-distance part of our relationship, I bought in. This year: instead of cards, I let him off the hook for any type of materialistic expression on this 14^th day of February. Oh and we did have a “date” last weekend.)

This morning, we did end up exchanging text messages and you can be sure, I completely treasure the one he sent me J so I’m very happy as I sit here, pretending to work, blogging on AfterElton, and eating a piece of Dove dark chocolate from one of the women in my office. [She also handed everyone their own Valentine’s button. Mine says “Sassy.” I’m gonna give THAT to him. ;)]

I know ours is not the most romantic story on here (i.e. it wasn’t a text message sent from the Eiffel Tower…) but still makes my heart warm. ;)  

Tonight after work, we’ll go by and pick up my 80-year old mother and go to our younger son’s last middle school basketball game (he’s the star ;) ) versus the cross-town rivals. And then we’ll probably go out to a nice dinner together. Not a bad Valentine’s I reckon, being with our sons whom I’ve loved their whole lives, the woman who raised me, and the man I’m fortunate to share my life with. Happy St. Valentine's Day indeed!  

PostScript:
Thanks, everyone, for posting these stories of other men and how they relate to each other and society. It’s so very encouraging to see other men in long-term relationships--making them work, growing together, and proving that love is beautiful, no matter what gender, shape, color, or combination.

Much love to the family. ;)

__________________________
whoever you are, just be you

Wedding

One Valentine's Day I sent a quartet to sing at my then boyfriend's work (he's now my husband). Nothing like public embarassment to show someone how you care. Four women dressed up and found him in the produce section. They sang a short song and presented him with a small box of chocolates, a flower, and a card from me. He told me afterwards that the ladies in the deli were crying and everyone clapped.

We've been together now for six years and have been married for over 2.5 years. I'm looking forward to many more.

I'm not blunt. Everyone else is overly vague.

All of these stories inspire me, very much so. I'm so happy for all of the couples who posted their own dedications to each other. Not only did it warm my heart, but it presented a richer, more sincere perspective of gay relationships that is either truncated (or in some cases absent) in U.S. media.

To the couples, I hope you (all) continue to make many more memories together.