Straight Men Kissing

Victory Kiss in Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby (2006)

“I will never shake your hand, never,” Will Ferrell’s Ricky Bobby says to rival racer Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen) after the climatic victory in this movie. “But I will give you this.”

Then he plants him one right on the smacker.

Granted, this is technically not “straight men kissing,” since Cohen’s character is gay, but the scene deserves a mention because it appeared in such a hit film – one aimed at teenage boys, no less. And Cohen, in particular, deserves some kind of mention because of this scene, and also the, uh, fearless sequence in Borat (2006) where he and Ken Davitian’s characters, both straight, wrestle nearly naked.

Sexiness: 5 + Freshness: 8 - Gay panic: 0 = +13 Hot Kiss Rating!

The non-Kiss the Groom kiss in I Know Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

In this 2007 Adam Sandler/Kevin James “comedy,” two straight firefighters have to get married in order to keep their health insurance benefits. Or something. The plot was as lame as the dialogue and included this “wedding” between the two men.

Really? It’s better to hit another guy rather than kiss him? Thanks, Sandler.

Sexiness: 0 + Freshness: 0 - Gay panic: 8 = -8 Hot Kiss Rating!

“The Kiss” in Vu du Pont

In Vu du Pont, the 1962 film adaptation of Arthur Miller’s play A View from the Bridge, Eddie (Raf Vallone) shows his disgust for handsome, but effeminate Rodolpho (Jean Sorel) by saying, “I’ll show you what you’re gonna be — what you are — what you are!” And then he kisses him violently on the mouth. In the background, his wife Catherine screams.

Uh, wouldn’t it have been easier just to say, “Dude, you seem kinda gay”?

Sexiness: 0 + Freshness: 0 - Gay panic: 10 = -10 Hot Kiss Rating!

The Shower Kiss in Elephant

In Elephant, Gus Van Sant’s daring, experimental 2003 film based, in part, on the Columbine shooting, the two teenage murderers share a tender kiss in the shower before going on their shooting spree. Some criticized the film for reinforcing the idea that mass murders are often gay, but a better reading — one shared by director Gus Van Sant — is that, like Y tu mamá también, the two boys aren’t gay, but are rather joining together in a moment of realization that they’re completely united by an experience that only they can share and only they can understand — albeit a horrible, incredibly disturbing moment.

Sexiness: 2 + Freshness: 5 - Gay panic: 0 = 7 Hot Kiss Rating!