Interview with "Survivor"'s Spencer Duhm

***Spoiler Warning*** This interview contains spoilers about Thursday night’s episode of Survivor: Tocantins.

For the first four episodes of Survivor: Tocantins, Spencer Duhm, at nineteen-years-old the youngest Survivor competitor ever, mostly flew under the radar as his team did fairly well in the challenges. Spencer worked hard, didn’t make any enemies, and also kept the fact he was a gay man from his teammates. Therefore it was rather surprising when he was voted off his tribe on Thursday’s episode. Indeed, given his age, fitness, and devotion to the game, many had pegged him to go much further.

AfterElton.com caught up with him the day after his elimination to discuss his strategy, his relationship with previous Survivor winner Todd Herzog, as well as his controversial statements about what kind of gay guy he considers himself.

AfterElton.com: Hi Spencer, thanks so much for talking to us.
Spencer Duhm: Thank you.

AE: Let's talk about some remarks you made to RealityBlurred.com before you went on the show. You said things like, "I don’t come across like most of the gay guys...I won’t be Todd, I surely won’t be Coby. I won’t be Charlie." And "I talked to my parents and I was like, ‘Mom, do I sound like that?’ she was like, ‘Sweetheart, no, I would never let you go out in public if you sounded like that.’ Thank God." These comments really offended many of our readers. They felt as if there were examples of internalized homophobia. How would you respond to that and do you still feel that way?
SD: Well, okay, first of all, let me talk about my mom. She got a lot of flak for that. The way I said it and the way it actually happened were different. All the things I had her say when I quoted her, she didn't actually say. I jokingly said, "Mom, you wouldn't let me go out in public, right?" And she said, "No, Sweetheart." It was all me there. I didn't know it was going to be printed, so I wasn't being factual, but she got a lot of flak for saying nothing, just agreeing with what I said. I felt horrible for that. She's my mom! She's not like that.

Obviously, though, when I read that, especially the stuff about Charlie, I was mortified. My jaw dropped and I was yelling at my computer, screaming, "Shut up, Spencer! Shut up! Why are you saying that?" I've apologized. It's just one of those things where it happens and you learn from it. You realize the press always has that tape recorder going.

I'd never want to offend people like that, it was never my goal, and I obviously wish I'd never said that stuff, but it just sort of comes out. I don't have any homophobia. I've just had experiences in my life where people have judged me because I'm gay and they immediately assume I'm a fairy or something. And I'm like, "No, we have gay people who aren't..." Again, not to use a word that might offend people or get me in trouble again, but you know... fruity, or whatever, but there are some of us who aren't. I feel like every time people find out you're gay they just assume you're going to be a drag queen or something. That irritates me because I don't stereotype other people and I don't want to be stereotyped myself. That's where that all came from. I honestly didn't mean to offend anyone but I can understand why it did. I wish I hadn't said those things. I don't like to be mean to people I've never even met, like Charlie, but there's nothing else I can do about it now.

AE: You never came out to your tribe, which you discussed in interviews on the last episode. You said, "In the culture that we live in, there's not much to gain from people finding out you're gay." Obviously you're out in your real life, since you spoke so openly about being gay in the interviews, so were you referring specifically to the culture in the context of the game, or do you feel that way in general?
SD: I feel like there's still some prejudice out there. I've experienced and I know others have, too. I mean, we've come a long way, but this is a social game and you don't want to give anyone even a subconscious reason to want to get rid of you or have something against you. You don't want to give them that. That's why I didn't tell anybody, it wasn't because I was ashamed of it or because I thought there would be prejudice, I just didn't know.

Until you tell them, you don't know. It's out of your control. They didn't give me any reason to think they'd be prejudiced. I feel like in some of the interviews they've done, they've gotten flak. 'Oh, were they homophobes?' No, they weren't. I just didn't know, so there was no reason to tell them.