The Grammys From the Gay Nosebleed Seats

Welcome to the Grammys from the gay nosebleed seats — where we make completely stereotypical and shallow observations about last night's awards show and, in the process, probably infuriate some guy in Philly who thinks we give gay people who are serious music fans a bad name. Ah well.

Unserious gay music fan that I am, I was very impressed by the Grammy performances last night. Of course, there were a few duds in the bunch: Justin Bieber and Usher were kind of lame for instance. And made lamer by the random appearance of Jaden Smith. I loved how half the time the camera was on parents Will and Jada clapping madly in the audience, like it was an elementary school pageant or something. Glad they at least enjoyed it.

I loved Lady Gaga's number, but sometimes I wish she would dial down the performance art bit (An egg? Really?) and just focus on the music. Speaking of which, I'm not really feeling the heavily hyped "Born this Way." Not sure it's going to be the classic that some of her other tunes like "Paparazzi," "Bad Romance," and "Poker Face" are destined to be.

Barbra Streisand looked pretty good - like she's had some (tasteful) work done. But then she went and sang "Evergreen," possibly my least favorite Barbra Streisand song ever. If your love is "soft as an easy chair" — buy them a friggin' gym membership.

Katy Perry sounded better than usual, I thought. Although projecting videos of her wedding to Russell Brand on the scrim behind her seemed a bit self-indulgent.

The Grammys introduced me to some artists I definitely want find out more about. First, there was Mumford and Sons who performed along with a cranky old Bob Dylan. (When he came out, did it seem like he was going to kick that abandoned string bass right off the stage?)

Anyway, Mumford and Sons blew me away with their performance of "The Cave" — and that lead singer is a total Baldwin. Seriously, he looks like a young Alec Baldwin.

I also want to find out more about Esperanza Spalding, who shocked everyone by walking away with the Best New Artist Grammy. Most people figured that honor would go to Justin Bieber - or possibly Florence and the Machine. Oh well, it's not like those guys need any additional exposure. This way, a lot of people are going to go check out Spalding. And as a Jazz artist she needs all the exposure she can get.

I confess, I was out of the room when Christina Aguilera (along with other big voices du jour: Jennifer, Florence, Martina and Yolanda) paid tribute to Aretha Franklin. I'm told the performance was strong — and Christina remembered the lyrics this time out. Unfortunately, this morning everyone is talking about the tumble she took when leaving the stage. That girl just can't seem to catch a break.

In the girl who catches too many breaks department — Gwyneth Paltrow sang "Forget You" with Cee Lo Green. And some Muppets. Because everything's better with Muppets.

I have a hard time really liking Paltrow, but she sounded competent and looked great — except for that brief period when she was splayed out and trying to situate herself on Cee Lo's piano. Cee Lo meanwhile seemed to be channeling Elton John during his Donald Duck days.

On the pages that follow you'll find more Grammy performance photos as well as some of our favorite #GayGrammys tweets from last night. Let us know what you thought of this year's Grammy ceremony in the comments.