How to Land a Celebrity Date to the Marine Corp Ball

Sgt. Scott Moore, Sgt Ray Lewis and Cpl. Kelsey de Santis

News this morning that Sgt Ray Lewis has asked Betty White to the Marine Corps Ball. This after Mila Kunis and then Justin Timberlake were recently asked (and apparently accepted).

We have no idea if Betty will accept or not. Her dance card is pretty filled these days what with being a national treasure and all.

But if you're a marine and thinking "Jeez, this seems like an easy way to get internet famous!" then you better jump on the bandwagon quick before YouTube is absolutely clogged with videotaped Marine Corp Ball celebrity invitations.

These guys tend to travel in pairs

Here's a few suggestions for making your own celebrity date request:

1. Don't be scary looking. Include a few testimonials from friends and perhaps your commanding officer. Someone needs to vouch for you. A video of just yourself in front of a creepy shrine of photos and press clippings looks a little too much like a stalker video. And celebrities get enough of those. 

2. Don't go for the obvious. Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and the like have fielded enough videotaped requests to last a lifetime. May we suggest you flip the script and invite someone a bit more wallflowerish? Tina Fey perhaps? Or Rachel Dratch.

3. Make it age appropriate. Betty White may have been a good choice in terms of originality, but if she accepts it will be a little too much like taking your grandmother to the prom. Other than the mints in her purse, she probably won't be putting out.

4. Your target date should be someone willing to travel. (These balls are in mostly unglamorous places like Greenville, NC.) That should eliminate anyone known to have a fear of flying (Whoopi Goldberg) or likely to be under house arrest (Lindsay Lohan). Sorry, Sgt. Lewis, but at 89, Betty doesn't actually strike us as an intrepid traveler.

5. Make your invitation a political statement! What with the repeal of DADT it might be the perfect time for a gay soldier to invite a gay celebrity. Make your pitch for Ricky Martin, Chris Colfer, Lance Bass or even straight-but-now desperate-to-appear-gay-friendly Tracy Morgan! (Like he could really afford to say no these days.)

Both of these guys probably totally available!

6. Build a celebrity beachhead. Famous people like to travel in packs, so you might expand on the Kunis and Timberlake contingent and invite someone they're both friends with. May we suggest Andy Samberg? He's a fellow Friends with Benefits cast member, and maybe he and Justin can use the occasion to reprise their "Dick in A Box" characters and film another SNL digital short!

With these basic rules in mind, which celebrities do you think dateless marines itching to jump on the bandwagon should be targeting?