A Note From the Associate Editor: Not Exactly Goodbye

This isn't goodbye exactly. The fact is, I will continue to write the occasional article.

At the same time, it's true that I'm stepping down as associate editor of AfterElton.com.

Needless to say, it's bittersweet.

For those who didn't know, I've been at AfterElton.com from the very beginning: as in, I was in the room in 2005 when the site's founder, AfterEllen.com founder (and my good friend) Sarah Warn and her partner Lori, came up with the idea. The name was my idea (a good fit for its sister site, AfterEllen.com, I thought).

Michael Jensen (my partner of 19 years) was eventually the one tapped to be editor, in part because I was too busy with my writing career. But I was contributing articles from the very start.

From left to right: Lori Grant, Brent Hartinger, Sarah Warn, Michael Jensen

It's no exaggeration to say that none of us thought, even in our wildest dreams, that this site would grow to be as large and as influential as it has, nor that it would be acquired by Logo (!).

I'm very proud of our mandate — thoughtful, professional, and original online content and analysis — and I loved writing many of my individual articles, especially my GLAAD Award-winning one, "Why Can't You Just Butch Up? Gay Men, Effeminacy, and Our War With Ourselves," but also my in-depth looks at the world of online fandoms, pro ("Has Slash Made the World Better for Gay Men?") and con ("Are Obsessive Fans Ruining the Internet?").

My absolutely favorite thing to do was writing "trend" and analysis pieces, on topics like bisexual vampires, what reality television says about gay men, phallic imagery in movies, the ubiquitousness of straight male strip clubs on TV, and whether gay characters have to be "fabulous" to break out. I also loved the many advice and entertainment questions I answered as both the Flying Monkey and the Pigeon Guts weekly columnists (I still feel guilty I couldn't answer the hundreds of questions I never got to!), not to mention reviewing hundreds of movies and TV shows and interviewing dozens of celebrities, everyone from Lucy Lawless to Tom Ford.

I also had a lot of fun with my yearly April's Fools articles.

Kevin and Scotty Moving From “Brothers & Sisters” to African-American Spin-off, "Brothas & Sistahs"

I'm even more proud of the fact that I think this site I helped create has made a difference in the world. When I wrote an article last year about the lack of gay characters in children's television, all the TV representatives I talked to thought I was nuts: why in the world would a show aimed at pre-teens talk about sex?!

But once Entertainment Weekly picked up one of our articles, these same executives started getting my "bizarre," insane questions from other media outlets: Why aren't there age-appropriate gay characters on children's TV?

And suddenly, now there are several gay characters in the works on children's TV.

In other words, time and time again, on topic after topic, I've been very proud of the fact that AfterElton.com has asked the right questions, questions that literally no other media outlets were asking. And when it comes to GLBT issues, just getting the question asked is half the battle, because most of the time there isn't a good answer, except, "Well, we've always done it that way."  

But enough with the self-congratulation. The fact is, I'm going to miss this place, damn it. And ultimately that all boils down to the one thing about this site that I'm absolutely the most proud of: the community. Go to almost any other site on the web, and what do you find in the comments? Frankly, a bunch of a**holes screaming at each other and making snide, bitchy, cynical comments about the world.

What do you find here? Mostly, a lot of smart, passionate people who sometimes disagree with each other, but who usually do it in a respectful manner. Where else do you find commenters who apologize to each other when they ultimately realize they crossed a line?

That kind of thing didn't just happen by accident. Our editors Michael, Dennis, Snicks, Ed, and myself worked really, really hard to set a kinder, gentler tone in our articles (cranky, yes, bitchy, no!). But it was you, our readers, who realized our vision. And once that vibe was created, it became infectious.

Because it's the thing I'm most proud of, the thing that I think is most unique to AfterElton.com, that's also the hardest thing to leave, by far.

And don't get me started on the pleasure of working with Michael, Dennis, Snicks, Ed, Lyle, Anthony, Chris, and all the other writers all these years. Whoever heard of a workplace with no Prima Donnas, with no one I didn't genuinely like?

What's next for me? Well, I was a writer of fiction before landing this gig, and I've been a writer of fiction all the time I've been working here. That won't change. And surely, other great opportunities await. Life is an adventure, after all.

As I said, this is not goodbye, since I'm not "leaving" completely. It's not even adieu!

But this place and you people have meant a lot to me. And it didn't seem right for me to move on without saying that to the people I most want to hear it.

Brent Hartinger
July 2011

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