AfterElton Gives in, Posts Pictures with Graphic Nudity, Waits for Traffic to Roll In

I don't know about you, but when I heard that Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul would be reuniting for X Factor, I thought to myself, "Finally! A family-friendly way to spend eleven hours of my week!" Between Paula's barely coherent ramblings and Simon's baby-punching shenanigans, I really thought X Factor would be show that would be safe for my kids (dogs) to enjoy. Oh, ho — was I ever wrong!

On the very first night of the show, a contestant dropped his pants! Yes, Geo Godley pulled down his pants.

Desipte the fact that Godley actually had on a pair of briefs underneath his pants, Fox slapped a giant X Factor logo over his crotch. I'm sure FOX didn't intend this (wink wink!), but that big graphic X made Godfrey appear nakeder than he actually was! How graphic! The fact that the guy wasn't in fact naked was hardly consolation for my poor, abused eyeballs.

Luckily, like always, The Parents Television Council was there to voice my complaint for me.

Families were led to believe the X Factor would be family-friendly programming and instead were assaulted by graphic nudity. Perhaps the ‘X’ in X Factor stands for the MPAA rating. No wonder PTC Seal of Approval winner and judge Paula Abdul walked out during the performance, apparently becoming physically ill by what happened.

You heard them! Occasionally lucid PTC SEAL OF APPROVAL WINNER Paula Abdul was physically ill! And so was I! On account of being ASSAULTED by GRAPHIC NUDITY!

You guys, I'm only kidding. I love graphic nudity. In fact, graphic nudity is my favorite kind of nudity. Why, just the other day, I was saying, "You know how I like my nudity? Graphic!" And apparently graphic nudity is a-OK these days. If X Factor can do it, then why can't we?

Meet the package of How I Met Your Mother's Neil Patrick Harris! 

See how much nakeder he seems? It just takes graphics to make graphic nudity.

Likewise, Chris Gorham doesn't see any reason to cover his Covert Affairs.

Chord Overstreet may have left Glee, but he's still up for some Nude Directions.

Next page: MORE GRAPHIC NUDITY!