Celebrity Twitterwatch: Chad Hodge Gets Read, Matt Morris Plays "How Gay Is My Haircut," and You Kids Get Off Matthew Mitcham's Lawn!

Matthew Mitcham, the oldest unicorn in the forest.

Welcome to the first Celebrity Twitterwatch of 2012. We've still got some details from 2011 to wrap up, but I feel that I should warn the universe that we are not signing on to this trend of calling the new year 20-dozen. That's just dumb, and trust us, we know dumb when we see it.

As Australia rang in the New Year before most people, Matthew Mitcham couldn't even be bothered to stay up for the event at his advanced age of 23 years. That's what happens when you find the love of your life at such a young age and settle down. That's why Twitterwatch stays single - it keeps us young. That and people are afraid we'll publish their love-tweets to us.

It's 2012 and it's official. I'm a grandpa. In bed before 12, up before 8 and I didn't even have a drink. Time for my high-bran muesli...

— Matthew Mitcham (@matthew_mitcham) December 31, 2011

Also starting to feel his age is Happy Endings' Adam Pally, who has begun noticing certain parts of his body not looking quite as sexy as they once did. Having seen him in his tighty whities this week, I have no idea what he's talking about.

My Grandfather died many years ago, but the sight of my weird ankle peaking out of a slipper under my bathrobe breaths life into him today

— adam pally (@adampally) January 6, 2012

But granted, age provides a certain wisdom. We were dismayed to find Gareth Thomas was doing Celebrity Big Brother in the UK. But Boy George was offered a spot to queer up the show even more, but got some life advice from mom that saved him.

My mum said she would disown me if I did CBB!

— boygeorge (@BoyGeorge) January 5, 2012

One thing that does suck about getting older is fewer opportunities to play. I can't remember the last time I went to a game night as opposed to writing a column or doing laundry. And simple pleasures of youth like playing Operation become just trying to have a snack, which is a sad truth from comedian and host Damien Fahey.

The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.

— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) January 3, 2012

Next page: Let's celebrate!