Reality Reiterated: Did Ragan or Preston Get Sent Home? And Are You a Gretchen?

It’s been a busy week, kind readers! So far, I’ve taken the wrong subway to Queens (twice), been treated like a leper by a wide variety of wait staff across Manhattan, and nearly attacked by mutant rats foraging for brunch in a nearby dumpster.

I love this city!

But enough about the real world. Let’s talk reality!

Big Brother

Raise your hand if you honestly believed Ragan (pictured right) would not be going home this week. If you raised your hand, bless your doe-eyed optimism. But I don't ever want to be on a reality show with you.

As us more pessimistic viewers suspected, Ragan was given the boot this week. The out (and very wise) Ragan uncovered the alliance between Hayden, Lane, and Enzo some time ago. He also knew that having only Britney in the house as an ally was like having no one at all. After Lane won HoH, Ragan’s only chance was to win the PoV.

Unfortunately, Enzo, in a true display of ape-like machismo literally shoves his way to a win and proceeds to brag about doing so (all the while the Brigade talks about what a sore loser Ragan is for being upset.)

So, we lost our gay in the house. The houseguests said some nice things to Ragan in their final remarks, as they should, considering he’ll be sitting in the jury and he’s a genuinely nice guy.

Abercrombie and Fitch poster boy Hayden told Ragan he was “an awesome representative of the gay community” and that Ragan surely made the gay community proud. He added that it was likely that lots of young people looked up to him. I’ll second that.

Rockstar Julie Chen did treat us to a few delicious moments in the jury house where we got to see Rachel greet Kathy, then Matt, then Brendon as they arrived fresh from previous evictions. We also witnessed sleazebag Matt admit to Kathy, who had bonded with Matt while discussing his wife’s “disease” and her own very real cancer, that his lie about his wife’s disease was just that.

Kathy bonding with the evil Matt

Kathy was, understandably, disgusted. I look forward to seeing future episodes where Ragan’s own doe eyes are plucked from his head when he realizes his “brother” and best friend Matt is so shameless. Now that would be worth a full hour of Julie Chen.

Real World

The sound of Ryan leaving the house for good — at least for me — is like the sound of a baby laughing; it just makes you feel happy inside.

Resident nut Ryan reached his full crazy potential this week after a visit from his brother and cousin (called “brother” and “cousin” in the episode) resulted in the other housemates realizing how unstable Ryan really is. Eric, who still has yet to call me, tells us, “It’s amazing how much fun we have when Ryan’s not around.”

The same goes for the viewers.

ERIC: All in favor of voting Ryan's sorry ass out of the house say "Aye."
WORLD: AYE!

Even better, potential love bloomed for our serial bachelor, Preston, as he started hanging out with a guy he eventually called his “boyfriend” as if he was being asked to admit he’s an alcoholic. The first step is admitting it, Preston.

The housemates attempted a Ryan intervention that he naturally refused to take part in and thus Ryan packed his bags and walked out the door. I think Sahar summed it up best: “This kid is the biggest idiot I have ever seen in my whole life.”

So goodbye, Ryan. I’d like to believe the folks at MTV will have the wisdom to never put you in front of a camera again.