Shameless: Mickey Maguire is no "Gayngel." Which isn't Exactly a Shock.

In the late 1980s the “Madchester” music scene started taking the country by storm with a unique, new sound that changed what the radio and nightlife sounded like. Today, it’s at the center of Mickey and Shane Maguire’s latest scam.

Mickey’s using his pink limo to offer a "Madchester Musical Tour" which also promises the possibility of seeing a celebrity or two. To help them enjoy the full Madchester experience, Mickey supplies his customers with period-appropriate drugs. No doubt the drugs are also intended them to keep from paying too much attention to the tour's details.

I wonder if Mickey was aware of the pun when he said the drugs make the tour feel more "real?"

I’ll give Mickey some credit as his tour at least makes the right stops. Too bad he doesn’t seem to know much about Manchester’s actual musical history, much less the "Madchester" scene. Mickey’s stops include the apartment building that once was the famous Haçienda nightclub which Mickey identifies as the place where The Sex Pistols performed in the 60s. That would actually be the Lesser Free Trade Hall and the year was 1976. Good thing Mickey has plenty of drugs.

He also takes his customers to see the iconic Salford Lads Club where The Smiths were photographed for the inside cover of their The Queen is Dead album. However, an ill-informed Mickey, however claims its where the band met.

What really "sells" the tour, however, is when Shane first dresses up as Morrissey (which means wearing glasses and slicking his hair back, apparently) as well as putting on a red wig to pretend to be Mick Hucknall of Simply Red.

Now if I were on this tour, I’d be wondering why the guy who sang about everyday being “silent and grey” seems so cheery and is carrying a bouquet of bright flowers. But since Mickey’s rubes are high, they excitedly pull out their cameras and start taking pictures of the faux-Morrissey. Hopefully, those are cheap low-resolution cameras so that their vacation memories aren’t ruined when they take a sober look back.

Isn't Shane a bit young to be impersonating a present-day Morrissey or Mick Hucknall?

The only possible thing that could ruin the tour is Mickey’s reaction when asked about the location of Canal Street, the center of Manchester’s gay scene. For some reason, Mickey seems to react badly to that question.

Unfortunately, as soon as two young girls refuses Mickey’s offer of drugs at the start of a tour, the scam falls apart. Now “Morrissey” and “Mick Hucknall” look like some guy in a silly costume and the the sober and unsatisfied tourists demand a refund.

Instead of giving back the money (and letting the scheme survive another day) the Maguires run away, leaving the angry customers free to complain to the police. And that leads to Mickey on the run with from police Sgt. Carrie Rogers hot on his trail.

"Trust me Mickey, when I say 'I'm coming to get you.' It will not be like meeting Davina McCall."

Mickey tries to hide from Carrie in an abandoned building, but that doesn’t last long and he soon ends up facing Carrie’s weapon of choice: pepper spray. (Considering how many people Carrie has used the pepper spray on, it’s a good thing she doesn’t get to carry a gun.) A triumphant Carrie cuffs herself to Mickey together just before she falls through the rotting floor, leaving the two trapped together.