Dennis Miller, Bill O'Reilly

Man, some conservatives just can't get over themselves about gay men and sex, can they? And given how many times they go after Barney Frank, it sure seems as if they can't handle a gay man with power who doesn't conform to their stereotypes of gay men. Case in point, Miller uses the issue of the government's recent bailout of AIG as a chance to crack a joke about Barney Frank wanting to get arrested.

Let me save Miller the bother of apologizing. It's not accepted because I wouldn't believe it had an iota of sincerity to it. 

Sick.

Move over, Kim Jong-Il: there's a new pint-sized terror on the block!

Meet Li'l Bill O'Reilly, a parody of "Papa Bear" Bill O'Reilly, the conservative pundit we all know and loathe. Just because Li'l Bill is smaller doesn't mean he's any less vicious, loud, homophobic, rude, ignorant, or offensive to look at. But he would be easier to stuff in a locker.

Above, enjoy Li'l Bill as he lays into gay Representative Barney Frank, and after the jump enjoy one of the terrible tyke's rants against the gays.

While Heinz was receiving kudos in the gay media for a rather clever ad ending in a same-sex kiss, the usual suspects were getting their knickers in a twist over the ad.

Bill O'Reilly brought it up on his show, where Bill-O yelled "It was obviously a gay thing! I don't know what the message is, other than gay people like mayonnaise..." and prompting guest Bernard Goldberg to call Bill-O "nuts". When both guests failed to see what was worth getting so excited about, the hothead pundit protested, "I didn't say it was terrible... This whole 'gender-blending' thing, it's confusing to me. I just want mayonnaise, I don't want guys kissing." (You can watch the full clip here. I think I'll bookmark that link for the next time Bill-O wonders why San Francisco threw a pink brick at him.)

However, the ad also raised protests in the UK where it aired. Nearly 200 complaints were made to the Advertising Standards Authority and it's likely to be one of the most-complained about ads of the year. As you'd expect, some the complaints are of the 'I had to explain that gay people exist to my children!' variety. (Interestingly, the ads aren't allowed to air during children's programs; not because of the same-sex kiss but because of the nutritional content of the mayo.)

Heinz has pulled the ads, citing the action as part of a policy "to listen to consumers." However, there is now a backlash to the backlash as one gay rights group, Stonewall, is now calling for a boycott of Heinz products in response to the ads being pulled, saying that Heinz had fallen for an "orchestrated campaign of complaints." I tend to think Stonewall is on the right track. I've experienced this kind of hubub from a marketer's perspective and had to take those irate phone calls; sometimes pulling a controversial ad is just a matter of trying to get the phone to stop ringing. Sadly, sometimes the only way to keep the squeaky wheel from getting all the grease is to squeak even louder.

Do you think the boycott threat is one that's warranted? Would you join such a boycott in the UK or even participate from outside the UK? Discuss it in the comments!

You only need to be halfway paying attention to be aware that Bill O'Reilly reporting on LGBT issues hasn't exactly been the fairest you'll find on cable news. The anchor of Fox News' most-watched program certainly has hit our radar plenty of times for his atrocious handling of gay issues and, San Francisco Pride has decided it was worth calling out.

SF Pride president Mikayla Connell appeared on The O'Reilly Factor to present O'Reilly with the award. "Now what's the beef? What did I do to offend you and your group?" he asks. Well, Bill-O, how much time do you have? Our own Christie Keith did a pretty thorough review of your record and it's hard not to say that you've been working hard for such an "honor".

Bill-O's attempts at defending himself are pathetically hilarious. When Connell points out a story claiming that lesbian gangs are terrorizing the nation, forcibly recruiting members into homosexuality and wielding pink pistols -- a report that was completely wrong. O'Reilly puts the blame on guest Rod Wheeler, claims the report was made "six years ago, five years ago" (the story aired in June 2007, though to be fair to Bill-O, after spending a year watching his audience shrink while Keith Olbermann maybe June 2007 feels like "six years, five years" ago to him) and dismisses the issue by declaring that the story was corrected, something that only happened after it started a blogswarm over how factually misguided the report was.

When Connell points to his coverage of the California Supreme Court's recent ruling legalizing same-sex marriage in the state, he also points a finger to the guest (because it's not like he or his producers have a clue to what points his guests are likely to make when they're booked to appear), eventually prompting Connell to ask, "You're not going to take responsibility for your show?"

Instead, he suggests, the real problem is the negative coverage he gave to San Francisco gays and city leaders for a time when the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence "invaded" a Catholic church, an incident so horrifying that the pastor gave them communion without a second glance. (As a former Bay Area resident, I should note that despite the outrageous appearnce and name the Sisters are an amazing force in the community, raising funds for local non-profit organizations.) He tells Connell "The way you're coming off here is 'Any criticism of anything gay is bashing.'" Bill-O tries to push Connell about the "transgender transvestite nuns who invaded the church" demanding to know if she found it acceptable.

You can watch the full video of Connell giving the award to O'Reilly here.

Rupert Everett has a laugh with Russell Brand at the St. Trinian's December premiere (Photo: Getty)

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• Happy birthday to out actor Rupert Everett, who turns 49 years young today. Everett is one of the first actors I remember seeing speak openly about being gay, and Another Country remains one of the most compelling gay-themed films out there.

• The makers of Vitamin Water backpedaled faster than you can say "Dragonfruit!" when their "Wings are for Fairies" slogan (aimed at competitor Red Bull) drew ire for being anti-gay.

• Bill O'Reilly grills a conservative guest, who is unable to offer a single reason that gay marriage should be outlawed in the state of California. What, is this an "Opposite Sketch"?

• I just love the above image of Hot 100 vet Anderson Cooper posing with Elmo at the recent Children's Television Workshop fundraiser. "Who wore it better?"

• The Human Rights Campaign is looking to secure 1.1 million signatures in support of gay marriage in response to the petitions to add a constitutional same-sex marriage ban to the November ballot in California. Head on over and add your virtual chicken-scratch.

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

Matthew Montgomery joins the Canvas

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• The Kids in the Hall (of course featuring the irrepressible Scott Thompson) are going back on tour, and from the looks of this promo video, they haven't lost their edge.

• Speaking of Scott Thompson, a film that we mentioned a while back that he's starring in has a new castmember: out actor Matthew Montgomery (Long-Term Relationship) has signed on as Thompson's partner in the upcoming gay movie Shifting the Canvas. Trick's JP Pitoc stars as a gay artist navigating the bohemia that is NYC's Williamsburg neighborhood.

• Gay author Augusten Burroughs has released a chapter of his new memoir, A Wolf at the Table, on his website, complete with four songs (Tegan & Sara! Ingrid Michaelson!) to help set the mood as you read. (the book streets April 29)

• Above is the first glimpse we've had of John Barrowman's hosting gig on the new UK game show The Kids Are Alright, which is kind of like Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?, only with a much better title. Oh, and an openly gay host.

• The folks at Media Matters are going all-out in their campaign against Bill O'Reilly, and you can join them. Couldn't happen to a better guy.

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

Brent and Michael (aka Two Gay Guys) are back with a new installment of their video blog that centers its fabulous crosshairs on the so-called "War on Christmas". This is one of my favorite recent episodes because the guys are dolled up in drag.

Wait, what? They're dressed up as the Biblical magi? Oh. My mistake. (Love the tiara, Michael!) Come to think of it, the above kind of looks like something Jamie Farr would have worn had the M*A*S*H 4077 put on a nativity play.

Whether you're on the frontlines in the holiday-season battle or are simply comforted by the image of grown men in Christmas sweaters, enjoy.

Papa Bigot Bill O'Reilly took some time on his show the other night to attack two teenaged lesbians who were named "Cutest Couple" in their highschool yearbook for having the audacity to be openly gay and not subsequently be stoned to death by their peers.

This guy. Wow. I don't think he realizes just how unattractive hate is.

Laura Berman, Ph.D., on the other hand, is my new effing hero. Watch her instantly defuse every point he makes with genuine grace while making it clear that she finds him monumentally, hilariously stupid.

My favorite bit is when in the same breath he argues that "normal" kids do things like experiment in homosexuality to piss off their parents and that normalizing homosexuality is wrong. Um ... wouldn't that be a good thing, by that logic? To stop rebellious straight kids from experimenting with homosexuality as a means of acting out by demystifying it? He then stresses that he only wants to help gay kids by suggesting that they be declassified as actual human beings, and my head explodes.

Thanks to Queerty for the serve.