Last night's Law & Order ripped its plot threads straight from the headlines ... that is, the headlines from the newspapers lining your cat box from several months or even years ago. When three Manhattan yuppie roommates are found shot dead in their apartment, the detectives are sent on a chase that manages to involve soldiers in Iraq, closeted gay politicians, crooked fundraisers, and a ruthless, manipulative lady senator with her eye on the Presidency.

What, did Fred Thompson ghost-write this episode?

After the three yupsters (well, two yupsters and one Iraq vet) are found riddled with bullets, detective Green (Jesse L. Martin) and Billy Chenowith (Jeremy Sisto) notice a subscription copy of a gay magazine on the coffee table and wonder if it might have been a gay love triangle. Naturally, because gay = multiple murder ... always, harder, and more often. 

The look into this and find out that only one of the roomies, environmental lawyer Josh, was actually gay. So maybe the soldier was a homophobe and shot him because he was gay ... and then shot the other roommate (the vet's childhood friend) because ... he had a gay roommate? They talk to the vet's ex-fiance and she says that doesn't seem likely.

They then notice that the gay guy has several more bullets in him than the straight guys. So they start investigating his personal life, and find out that he was having an affair with a married politician who had recently voted against gay marriage, which upset the gay guy greatly. Now, I'm not sure just how much righteous indignation a guy who is having an affair with a married man has the right to have over such behavior, but so be it. They find out that Senator Larry Craig the closeted politician stays at a flea-bag hotel across from Hellmann's department store (bring out the Hellmann's and bring out the best!) because it has the cruisiest bathrooms in the city. What, no one goes to Bloomingdale's anymore?

To Catch a Senator! They of course send Billy Chenowith, the newbie, in to catch the creep in a little bathroom stall Riverdance duet, and we actually see, in close-up, the whole toe-tapping thing first-hand. It's beyond silly ... and their shoes are atrocious. They arrest him (the real police, not the fashion ones) but find out that he had an alibi the night of the murders: some other chicken that he was shacking up with. My God, when I moved to this town I couldn't get a date to save my life, and this married closeted guy is getting his ticket punched in Junior Petites on a daily basis. Guess I should have done more shopping ...

• As much as I love Chris from Project Runway (and I really really do), when he said he moved to NYC because of Sex and the City I seriously almost barfed, as that show made me want to move OUT of the city and to somewhere where I wouldn't be trampled by the army of bitch-booted do-me bachelorettes who invaded Manhattan because of it. Regardless, here's the thoroughly underwhelming trailer for the film. Enjoy.

• Colts coach Tony Dungy (shown in the nightmare-haunting pic at the top) is at it again with his gay-hating ways, noting that if he had a gay on his team he would "talk to him about (his) views on it, what the Bible says about it." I guess in response I'd ask him what the Bible says about his working every Sunday for 9 months out of the year. BAM!

• The Queerty boys love Chris Matthews, and with quotes like this one, I'm tempted to fall for him myself: "My own response to the Craig story is to side with gay marriage. If we don‘t respect people, how do we expect them to respect themselves? Anyway, that‘s just my reaction."

• Didja hear the one about Jodie Foster mentioning her longtime partner in a speech earlier this week? If not, get the full scoop from the guy who was in the room, AfterElton.com contributor Greg Hernandez.

• That's it for us, but be sure you read Michael's lemony-fresh Best.Gay.Week.Ever. column (now with more gay angel!) and have a great weekend!

It’s Wednesday and you know what that means. That means it’s time to announce the winner for Avatar of the Week.

I was hoping to do something holiday themed, but alas there’s a dearth of avatars with turkeys and/or pilgrims involved. Although I did find no less than two avatars — rpieket & Griffnyc — featuring dolphins. One more and this would have been Avatar of the Week: Flipper edition!

Instead we have a bit of a grab bag. But apropos of the season, I’m very thankful for all three.

First up is franQ, a.k.a Frank Anthony Polito.

franq is an actor, playwright, and soon-to-be novelist. His first book, Band Fags, will be released in June 2008. You can find out more about franq and his novel here. He made the cut this week because his avatar pic and novel title brought back fond memories of my own high school band experiences. (Wouldn’t you know I played the flute?)

Second up is Insideguy for his “My Place or Yours” avatar. Assuming the query concerns where to hold the turkey dinner, that’s sorta Thanksgiving-themed, right?

Insideguy was the former head of research at MGM as well as the Hollywood Reporter, and he’s made some great contributions to our site this year via his well-informed comments. When it comes to Hollywood trivia the man really lives up to his moniker of “InsideGuy”

This week’s winner is pBug, a sixteen year old out teen from Minneapolis, Minnesota. From pBug’s profile:

I'm a sixteen year old gay boy with a taste for slash fanfiction and extremely gay movies. That's pretty much me in a nutshell.

pBug gets the nod for coming the closest to actually offering up a turkey in his avatar pic, which you will find blown up in all its glory after the break:

I'm one of those weird people who still watches Saturday Night Live, and is willing to slog through an hour and a half of intolerably bad guest hosts, openly wretched intro monologues and enough Will Forte to choke a camel for just a glimpse of Kristen Wiig in any of her twitchy incarnations.

But only two episodes into the season, something already seems different about SNL: it's bona fide gay-crazy.

The biggest gay gag thus far was the premiere's digital short, where Andy Samberg sang a love song to Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, based on the leader's baffling comments to an audience at Columbia University early last week that there were no homosexuals in his country.

But this week's episode (which featured guest Seth Rogan) featured a gay-inclusive moment that was far more interesting for the fact that it was barely even addressed. In a skit about a couple of hideous twin children who keep interrupting their parents' dinner party, Jason Sedakis and Fred Armisen played what was obviously supposed to be a gay couple. But in a rare turn, their being gay had nothing to do with the skit and wasn't a punchline of any kind or an excuse to camp things up. It felt as thought the writers simply said, "Well, if an urban couple was having a few other couples over for dinner, one of them could very well be a gay couple" and that was that.

The Weekend Update's "Really!?! With Seth and Amy" skit called out Larry Craig for his gay bathroom sex antics and anti-gay policy, and made the point that it's not the gay part that has them upset, it's the sex in bathrooms part.

The bit was funny and hit the right notes, and a later joke about George Takei getting an asteroid named after him once scientists realized he was "supergay" was amusing if only for the continued mention of the actor, whose public profile has skyrocketed since he came out.

• I for one have been thrilled to see the smiling puss of Michael C. Hall (David from Six Feet Under) plastered all over the city for Dexter's new season. And I actually love the show so much that I'm totally down with the blood-filled fountains as well. Call me kooky!
  

• Openly gay TV gavel-wielder Judge David Young thinks Senator Larry Craig is "outrageous." Truly, truly, truly outrageous?

• My favorite Amy Sedaris completist has the video of Amy's recent visit to Martha Stewart, in which she somehow manages to sass-talk the domestic dictator for ten straight minutes and live to tell about it. (Favorite line: "Oh, no one's gonna eat chutney, Martha!")

• The ever-perceptive WOW Report deconstructs the cover of a children's book called Tops & Bottoms. Sometimes a rabbit holding an ear of corn is not just a rabbit holding an ear of corn.

• James Blunt recently appeared on Ellen and hit on her, noting that he's "very effeminate," which tickled her so much that she wound up doing a Fabulous Baker Boys on his piano.
  

• And don't forget to read Michael's latest column, in which he reveals the gay boys of Project Runway 4, talks about how AfterElton.com came to be, and shares some tips on how to have the Best.Gay.Week.Ever!

Corddry: I knew there was a story here. I just wasn't sure what it was.

If the whole Senator Larry Craig toe-tapping brouhaha has you confused, allow this Dodge commercial to demonstrate how two men talking about "an extra seven inches" and "waxing it" in a public bathroom could lead even the most conservative-looking stall-dweller to fall prey to "misunderstandings" of Jack Tripper-like proportions.

(Big t/y to Dwiz for the tip!)

• The very straight Steve Agee refers to his gay Sarah Silverman Program namesake alter-ego as "one half of the greatest gay TV couple since Ernie and Bert."
  
• Hollyoaks star James Sutton will serve as a judge at this year's Mr. Gay UK contest. Tough gig, I'm sure.
• Bravo's gay director of programming/blogstar/gadabout Andy Cohen ran a "how I spent my power-gay summer vacation" diary entry, but I can sum it up for you: by not hanging out with me. Frowny-face.

• James Marsters (Buffy's beloved Spike) spilled a few beans about his upcoming Torchwood gig at Atlanta's Dragon Con.
• In case you missed it, here's Hillary Clinton on Ellen. Go Ellen for not giving her the softball treatment and actually asking gay marriage questions -- the lady continues to impress. (Um, Ellen, that is.)
• The Rocket Man (aka Elton John, FYI) lands in ... Casper, Wyoming on September 30th for the third leg of his U.S. tour. Yay, Casper!
• Idaho Senator Larry Craig receives unqualified support from adopted children. Reportedly is now re-considering his resignation.

It was no small irony that the same week that Larry "I'm-not-gay-and-never-have-been-gay" Craig was forced to resign from the U.S. Senate over allegations he cruised a cop in a bathroom that the CBS daytime sudser As The World Turns featured the following conversation between out teen Luke Snyder (Van Hansis) and closeted teen Noah Mayer (Jake Silbermann).

In the show, Noah is struggling to convince himself that despite his feelings for Luke, he can "love" his erstwhile girlfriend and please his homophobic father if only he tries hard enough. (These are just portions of their conversation. The entire transcript can be found after the jump.)

Noah: Luke, we've talked about this before. I can't ... I can't be gay. It's not gonna happen.
Luke: Because of your father?
Noah: Because of a lot of things. Why can't you just let it go?

Noah: Do you know how long it's taken for my dad to say he's proud of me? My whole life. And for once he's not telling me to become a man. He's saying I already am one.
Luke: And you weren't before? Noah, this thing you're fighting, I understand. I fought it, too.
Noah: I know what I'm doing.
Luke: Yeah, so do I. You're telling yourself over and over and over in your head that you can make this work.
Noah: It is working.
Luke: But for who? For you dad. But what about you? My God, what about Maddie? Can you really do this to her?

Luke: Okay, maybe you're right. I mean how hard can it be to fake as life with somebody. Sharing a bed. Meals. Sex. You and Maddie on vacation with dear old dad.
Noah: That's the life I want.
Luke: For now. But you know what? One day you're going to wake up and you're going to realize that the one thing you can't lie to yourself about anymore is that you made this life, this relationship, or whatever you want to call it with somebody you've never been in love with.
Noah: So you don't think I can love Maddie?
Luke: I think you were born one way and no matter how hard you try to change it, you can't.

Soaps are often derided (usually fairly) for being incredibly unrealistic, but for many gay men struggling to come out, the above conversation is one we had with ourselves or someone else. Most of us decided that living honestly was the better choice, but given how the news has been filled of late with McGreeveys and Foleys and Haggards and now apparently Craig, there are still too many men who make the other choice.