Since I'll be lying on the beach in P'Town avoiding every clap of thunder (among other things clapp related) and every drop of rain projected to hit the Cape this weekend, I won't be able to watch the elimination episode of So You Think You Can Dance and write up a combined performance/elimination blog about it for Friday morning. That means today's recaplet will be a little shorter than last week and I'll be asking for your feedback as to who should go home this week. Audience participation is always more fun anway, right?

Week 4 Judges: The always loveable and adorable Napoleon (oh yeah and his wife Tabitha), the ultra-screamy Mary Murphy and the increasingly stick-up-the-arsed Nigel Lythgoe.

For some reason, someone decided it would be a good idea to torture the dancers as well as the audience by making each couple perform two dances in one night. No, this is not uncommon for the show but it is uncommon at this stage of the game when there are still 7 couples left to compete. It makes for far too much dancing and far too little pre-performance video which I'm a big fan of. Don't get me wrong, it was great seeing the dancers do their thang but I missed seeing the personality and more importantly the hardcore spills that come from rehearsal footage.

Shirtless Will and Jessica

Will Wingfield and Jessica King:
First Dance: Jive by Tony Meredith and Melanie Lapatin First off, as inappropriate as it is, the booty on Will is driving me crazy ... if I wore pants like his would my flat bottom look as bubbly and delicious? All I really remember from this routine was a backflip pull thru that Jessica did and I only remember that because I wrote down that it was banoodles (yes, I'm still trying to make banoodles the new bananas). For the first time all season Jessica was a standout! Mary talked about missed connections but I was honestly fooled and wowed by the routine. Damn, they're Jessica haters. We get it, you love Will; Jessica is the new Matt.

Second Dance: Lyrical Jazz by Mandy Moore Props! I love props! Why do certain types of girls look really good in old men's shirts? The routine was amazing and Will dragged her from one end of the stage to the other wrapped in that old shirt. Surely he gave her rug burn, which I'm certain was not her first time, I kid ... I kid! Note to the producers: Don't put the stunning shirtless boy in the background, we need to see that glory front and center! Their lifts were great and overall the routine was passionate and kinda dirty.

Now its time for our least favorite segment of the show ...

THE MOST HOMOPHOBIC REMARK OF THE WEEK: Courtesy of the toothy Brit at the Judges table who asked for a show of hands from the audience to see who wanted to dance with Will. When nearly the entire place went nuts, Nigel said to young William: "Will there were almost more girls than guys that had their hands up so I think you're okay." What the hell is that, Nigel? On a show about dance with a gay audience not to mention past and future contestants, that's a really ignorant comment to make. He's getting a letter from my hand raising gay loving self, toot sweet!

The second episode of the second season of Shear Genius aired on Bravo last night, and we got to know the three out contestants better ... or as I like to call them, "the good, the bad, and the hairy".

The first challenge of the night was called "Short Cuts", and I was crushed when it turned out not to be a Robert Altman tribute. I was so looking forward to the look on the clients' faces when they ended up with Shelley Duvall's unique take on Olive Oyl or Ronee Blakley's hair helmet from Nashville. And what confident woman wouldn't benefit from a Cher weave circa Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean?

Alas, it wasn't an Altman tribute, just short haircuts.

After the challenge starts, the guest judge shows up, and OMG, you're not going to believe who it is! The guest judge turns out to be ... Tabatha! ... whom I've never seen before! Apparently, she was a contestant last season, and won the "fan favorite" award, which makes me wonder exactly how many fans of this show have a "Stern Mommy/Dominatrix" fetish. Out stylist Charlie wins the challenge with his Mia Farrow circa Rosemary's Baby cut, while out stylist Paolo ends up in the bottom two.

The stylists wake up the next morning to find a bowl of oranges in the kitchen, and try to figure out what that clue means. The general consensus is that it means they'll be styling hair for the prisoners in the Orange County jail. The actual challenge turns out to be far more terrifying.

They enter the studio, and discover that they'll be designing hair for the cast of The Real Leather Saddlebags Housewives of Orange County. I almost fall out of my chair when stylist/judge Rene Fris announces that they will be doing makeovers for the "housewives and their dollars". I think "well, it makes sense, actually", then I realize he actually said "daughters", not "dollars".

In introducing the ladies, the show makes a huge logistical error by having the "housewives" hold up oranges next to their bodies, which is like asking an albino to hold up a snowball. You can't tell where one ends and the other begins.

Find out how our three out stylists performed, and who went home, after the break.

This is where designers are made and broken: the infamous "white wall" challenge. David Bromstad set the bar high in the first season of HGTV's Design Star, designing a rug out of hamster cage bedding and using fish bowls as decorative accents. For this challenge, the designers were assigned countries that were meant to serve as their inspiration, and limited to materials they could purchase in a craft store and a set of covered cushions.

Unfortunately, instead of following in David's footsteps, one member of Team Gay met his Waterloo between those three white walls. Michael Stribling, the youngest contestant in Design Star history, created a room the judges called "generic," when he was supposed to be designing a hot Barcelona nightclub.

Michael's losing design

The problem I have with this decision isn't that I disagreed with the judges about his room. Michael alone of all the designers was allowed to choose the country he wanted to use as his inspiration, and there was not one element of this design that invoked the slightest hint of Spain. But it was a nice enough design, certainly competitive with the other designs the judges liked, and a lot better than those of designers who survived. Like, say, this monstrosity from Tracee:

Tracee's losing design

I mean, seriously. She's been in the bottom three every week, she's got a nasty personality and obviously will never win (hello, has anyone noticed that both previous Design Stars, David Bromstad and Kim Myles, were incredibly nice and well-liked by their fellow competitors?), and she submits this hideous crap. Explain to me like I'm stupid why she's here and Michael is gone?

Oh, right. Drama over design. I keep forgetting.

Mark and Chelsie in a standoff

So You Think You Can Dance has been krumpin' its way through Season 4 for a couple weeks now so I'm incredibly pleased to finally bring a recaplet to AfterElton.com!  You're probably asking yourself why it took three weeks of competition before we had a recap and the answer is simple... I've been riding Mary Murphy's Hot Tamale Train and just now had a moment to jump off and rehash the incredible performance and elimination episodes. (Ed: If "riding Mary Murphy's Hot Tamale Train" is a euphemism ... I don't want to know.)

Welcome to So You Think You Can Dance (dance, dance, dance)!

For those of you at home that are not SYTYCD fans, you're really missing out.  If you happen to be a die-hard Dancing with the Stars fan, you're insane, and I beg of you to tune in next Wednesday night and witness the brilliance.  Honestly, the kids on SYTYCD are in a completely different league and if this was Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, Ozone and Enzo would be wiping the floor with that Christy Yamaguchi chick.  Sho'nuff...

As for comparisons to Step It Up and Dance or America's Best Dance Crew (I adore both), they're so different that you can't really compare them.

You'll find that my recaps are a little less about the technical side of dancing and a little about the snarky "oh no she didn't wear that" side of watching one of the gayest non-gay shows on television.  The only dance background I have involves a grade school talent show and something I got paid for during college that we do not want to mention here. Oh wait, curses...

Each season I pick a SYTYCD TV BOYFRIEND and I blog about all the dirty little things I'd like to do to those boys. It's harmless fun.  That's always a little awkward when we eventually meet or one of their sisters contacts me and hooks me up with backstage passes to the tour. (Enablers!)

Season 2's choice was the incredible Travis Wall and last season it was that cutie-patootie Neil Haskell. I'm still in the market for a Season 4 boytoy so I'm open for suggestions. Right now I'm leaning towards Twitch, Mark, or choreographer Napoleon ... so many choices, so little time!

Before we move onto the competition, I must say how incredibly fierce host Cat Deeley is.  The glamazon dances worse than Ellen but is hands down the best reality show host in the world.  She's gorgeous, funny, a fashion template and most importantly a goddess Mother to each and every one of the kids on the show.  She calls them he r"babies" and that, my friends, is adorable!

Host Cat Deeley

This week, one of my favorite guest Judges was back, Mr. Adam Shankman.  The Shank is loud, out and proud up there from the Judges podium and the man brings this incredible energy, honesty and knowledge to the show.  Judge Mary Murphy looked less like a Flintstones drag queen this week but still her make-up was heavy and that bedazzled dress a hot mess.

The dance world lost Cyd Charisse this past week and Exec. Producer/Judge Nigel Lythgoe said some kind words about the dancing legend.  For a show that is heavily watched by tweens (and me), I thought it was a nice touch and the clips they showed hopefully inspired one or two viewers to learn more about her.

Now on with the show...

I don't normally consider being paid to watch television a hardship. But I really wasn't prepared for this room, this horrible, horrible room that caused my eyes to bleed. This room, one of four, each more ghastly than the last, in some crumbling and haunted Nashville mansion formerly owned by country music stars.

And then, because of Design Star's Team Gay, the unstoppable force that is Matt Locke and his Boy Wonder, Michael Stribling, that wallpapered monstrosity became this:

And that, my darlings, is why gay is good. And why Matt and Michael are good, individually and as a team.

The judges thought so too, singling them out as having created the best design (Matt's second week in a row earning that praise).

However, despite the fact that angels sang and heavenly choirs played when Matt and Michael stood on the podium having roses tossed at their feet by Vern, Cynthia, and Martha, the entire episode left a bitter taste in my mouth ... and that taste's name is Tracee.

For some reason that I can pretend not to understand but in reality understand all too well, the odious Tracee got smacked down hard by her teammate, the judges, and the other designers backstage after basically tanking her team's design, and still survived this round of competition.

To find out who went home and more, click on through the jump...

Everybody run! The gay-adjacent comedy queen's got a gun!

But we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. The second episode of the fourth season of Kathy Griffin - My Life On The D-List opens with Kathy in a quandary. She has to find some way to push her concert merchandise line, specifically the "everybody can suck it" t-shirts (apparently, they're not work and church friendly). She makes a deal with "Team Griffin" (her assistants Jessica and Tiffany, and her tour manager Tom) that if they meet a certain quota of t-shirts sold, they'll get a "bonus".

Kathy's original "bonus" offer is nixed by the staff (let's just say it would fit in nicely with the t-shirt theme), and it's decided that the team will get new Blackberries if they meet the quota. Since Kathy is always looking for novel ways to push her wares, she decides to give concerts in the home towns of Tiffany and Tom (and maybe unload a butt-load of merch).

Before leaving on that road trip, though, she makes a spectacularly D-list appearance on Tom Green's talk show. Yes, the Tom Green who was married to Drew Barrymore for five minutes and starred in the Razzie favorite Freddy Got Fingered. He has his own talk show ... on the Internet ... which he films from his home (what's next, Pauly Shore filming a sitcom from his mother's garage?).

While Kathy is being interviewed by Tom, rapper Coolio shows up for some reason to talk about his own reality show, which will be premiering on the Oxygen channel. Correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't Oxygen an even more estrogen-fueled version of Lifetime? Every time I happen to glance at Oxygen, they're either showing a Tori & Dean marathon, or they're airing some show about women who snap and put the beat down on men who refused to take out the garbage. So I guess a show about the guy who did "Gangsta's Paradise" is a no-brainer, right?

While talking with Coolio, Kathy has an epiphany, and comes to the conclusion that since Coolio can be a reality show star and a Grammy winner, why can't she? She immediately sets a plan in motion to make a CD and win a Grammy, and they decide to record it during a concert in her manager Tom's hometown of St. Louis.

The St. Louis trip has its up and downs for Kathy. She's a little perturbed that the Mayor has named it Tom Vize day, and at every talk show she and Tom go on to plug the concert, she's almost completely ignored. She gets her revenge later, though, when Team Griffin go to a local park with Tom's police officer brother Bob and play "cops & robbers" with Tom as the crook. Kathy, Jessica, and Tiffany put the beat down on Tom like he had forgotten to take out the garbage, and then they all visit a local gun range, where Kathy is horrified to discover Tom's affinity for shooting paper targets with her face superimposed on them.

After the break, Kathy meets some actual gays!

Well, after weeks of drama, backbiting, tears, and a few minutes of dancing, we're at the end of the season. Pretty boy Cody, hot Asian chick Michelle, and jovial hottie Nick are the finalists. Oh yeah, and Miguel.

All four dancers show up to rehearse for their big solo dances, which will decide the show's winner, and host Elizabeth Berkley and choreographer Jerry Mitchell are waiting for them, which leads to the episode's greatest moment. Elizabeth announces that Jerry will spend half an hour alone with each dancer to help them prepare, and the camera first pans to Cody, and then immediately switches to Jerry, who's literally licking his lips and leering in anticipation. It instantly reminded me of those old cartoons where a hungry character would look at someone and imagine them turning into a steak.

After Jerry stops drooling, Nick (my favorite) is first to rehearse, and does a very cute story dance, and by the end, he's all hot and sweaty and sexy and ... damn, where's my A1 Sauce? Michelle is next, and she shows up wearing thigh high black leggings and sky blue Underoos, and dances a very elegant but fiery Asian routine. Cody comes out and dances to a very pretty acoustic pop song that I liked so much I had to go in search of. Turns out it's called "It's Over" by the NY based T.J. Moss. Oh yeah, and Miguel danced.

The dancers show up at the theater thinking they'll be rehearsing more, but are in for a shock. They have one more group challenge before they get to their solos. They bring out the guest choreographers, Keith Young and his wife Sharon, who have a long list of Broadway credentials, but I'm distracted by how much Keith looks like Captain Sisko from Star Trek: Deep Space 9. They announce that the group will be dancing to Fergie's song "Labels & Love" from Sex and the City.

They start rehearsing the SATC shopping dance challenge with the Fergie song (which is absolutely atrocious, btw), and Miguel comes up with this howler, which is my second favorite moment of the night, and how I want to remember him:

"Let me break it down, okay. In the Sex and the City challenge, Michelle is Miranda, especially with that haircut ... Cody is totally Charlotte because he's so like prim and proper and like 'I'm Canadian, we do nothing wrong' ... and Nick is totally Samantha, like male slut, right? And I'm curly haired, fashion forward, never has a man ... I'm Carrie Bradshaw!"

No, Miguel, you're more like Carrie - The Musical, but without the cult following and Betty Buckley. But believe it or not, that's not the worst thing he says tonight.

You can find out who wins the $100,000 after the break!

In tonight's Step It Up & Dance, it's part one of the finale, and starts with all of the dancers (even the eliminated ones) performing a special tribute to Michael Jackson's video Thriller, and then we get short vignettes of the five remaining dancers as they each go home to prepare for the final round of competition.

We see Michelle back in N.Y.C., where she performs in The Lion King, Janelle cheerleading in something called Jamz, Cody starring in Grease, and talking about the death of his dance partner, the death of his girlfriend, and his house burning down (it looks like we have another Butters on our hands). Nick talks about being in commercials (come to think of it, he does look like the "diarrhea" guy in those Pepto-Bismol ads), and Miguel goes home to his family, who display a remarkable amount of patience and understanding.

All five dancers come back to the studio, and are informed that this week's challenge will include two guest judges, a man and a woman, who Elizabeth Berkley solemnly intones are "two of the most recognizable faces in the dance world ... and ... here ... they ... are!". A curtain is pulled back, and from the darkness emerges...Shields & Yarnell! Okay, it's not Shields & Yarnell, but if it had been, it would have totally redeemed this show in my eyes, and I'd never be able to say another bad thing about it.

Actually, the two super special guest judges are Nancy O'Meara and Vincent Patterson, who are the same judges that have been with the show since the beginning ... which is kind of like having your fiance jump out of the cake at your bachelor party. This competition is all about Vincent, who reveals that he worked with Michael Jackson for 15 years, and was actually one of the zombies in the "Thriller" video (which, I have to admit, is very cool). Tonight's dance will be centered on the Jackson song "The Man in the Mirror", with Nancy helping to choreograph, and watching her at work is liking witnessing Ilsa, She Wolf of the S.S. in action. Soon, almost everyone is in tears, and Janelle delivers this passive-aggressive classic: "Nancy is a hardcore bitch ... but i love her".

Nancy and Cody have a minor dust-up when she tells him not to dance like a "snob", which will have major implications later, and when Vincent comes back to check on their progress, he's so impressed that he starts sobbing. Later that night, it's time for the big dance-off, and the real guest judge for the competition is ... oh ... my ... god ... I'm beside myself. I just can't believe it. They finally got it right.

See who the awesome guest judge is, and find out who was eliminated, after the break!

Hiya, folks! After taking a few days off to hunt down Luke and Noah in Brooklyn (leaving you in the capable — and surprisingly supple — hands of snicks), I'm happy to be back in time for the Big Apple action that lies ahead for the boys.

When we last left the fellas, Noah and Luke had both made it to NYC in hot pursuit of Captain Pervy and Ameera. Will our gay heroes save their friend/wife/romantic obstacle from the clutches of Noah's evil dad before it's too late? Will they find themselves lost in Brooklyn, Manhattan, or both? And most importantly, will they have time to catch Cheyenne Jackson in Xanadu: The Musical?!?!

Click on through the jump and refresh often to find out, as it happens!