"Are you ready for some football?"

Superbowl Sunday is upon us and while many American’s will be gorging themselves on junk food and a wicked ale while cheering on the Patriots or the Giants, I’ve always been one to avoid the telecast at all costs.  As you can imagine, living in Boston makes it difficult to turn your nose up at the hysteria this town creates for their golden boys the Red Sox and the Patriots but I do my best at shunning the big Tom Brady shaped elephant in the room by hunkering down with the hundreds of other television channels at my disposal.

If you’re a huge football fan, Sunday night is your Oscars.  Sit back with a beer and enjoy watching the burly men ram and pound each other as sweat pours from their heaving chests in glorious HD.  If you’re simply into watching hotties like Tom Brady, Eli Manning, or Amani Toomer - all the power to you; hell, if you just like saying tight end and wide receiver – have a field day because this is your night. It’s Superbowl Sunday!

But if you’re looking for some alternatives to the biggest football game of the year I’ve got the rundown of the best (and worst) in counter programming to help you plan accordingly.  Call your best gays, gal pals, or your grandmother; bust out the wine or sparkling cider, the cheese platter, the crudités and get ready to cheer on your right to choose...

THE MUST LIST:

FOX’s Superbowl Pre-Show with Ryan Seacrest
Airs on FOX
I know what you’re thinking, why would I watch the pre-show if I don’t plan on watching the main attraction?  Well I have a few words for you!  Paula. Abdul. Acting Crazy Singing. Live. For. Reals.  Straight up, the American Idol judge will be performing her new single “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” and I can think of nothing better than watching her lip-sync her way out of that bag of crazy.  As an added bonus, Randy “Have I told you that I was in Journey, Dawg?” Jackson will be performing with her.  Train wreck!

Puppy Bowl IV
Airs: 3:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m. (Animal Planet)
If you like your action a little furry and with leather studded collars this is the show for you!  Animal Planet’s pawsitively genius Puppy Bowl returns for a fourth year with way too much cuddly cuteness for one person to handle.  This show makes putting balls in your mouth and chasing tail a sporting event!  Not to be outdone by Tom Petty, this Half-Time Show features its own band of Heartbreakers… kitties, kitties, and more kitties! 

Much, much more after the break...

I've been very curious about the new miniseries Miss America: Reality Check that TLC has been plugging like crazy lately. The show takes 52 aspiring Miss America contestants and runs them through a makeover in an attempt to put to rest some of the worst pageant cliches. 

The pageant stuff I really couldn't care less about, despite the fact that they're having a bit of a reality show renaissance as of late. What I find interesting is that Ugly Betty's wonderfully witty Michael Urie (Marc St. James) is the host, and from all outward appearances he's carrying quite a bit of his on-screen fashionista persona with him into this reality show project.

Urie has declined to discuss his sexuality publicly, which is of course his choice and completely fine with me. But it does seem odd that Urie is comfortable appearing as himself in a manner that so closely resembles his insanely flamboyant and very gay television character. Since he's playing a gay character, people will naturally speculate that he's gay, and if he doesn't want to address that, that's fine. But doesn't it seem an odd choice to then take a project that would only fuel speculation by tying his gay character more directly to his off-screen self? Maybe it's a trivial point, but it did strike me as a bit odd. Still, he's the reason I'll be tuning in. 

TLC has uploaded a second commercial for the show that jokes about Urie being their version of The Bachelor (the spot's much funnier overall than the ad that's showing every 3 minutes on TV). Check it out over here!