And then there were two. The Bravo reality competition Step It Up & Dance is down to six dancers, two of which are gay, one of whom is totally annoying.

This week's competition is about improvisational modern dance, or as I like to call it, "making crap up". In a hilarious display of blatant product placement, the show starts with Miguel shouting "we got a message on our new Sidekick 3", which is helpfully subtitled in case anyone missed it, followed by a closeup on said Sidekick 3 with the words "T Mobile" prominently displayed. Subtle. The dancers are ordered out of the apartment, and wind up at a mattress store, where they meet Jacques Heim, the artistic director of Diavolo, who will serve as guest judge for this episode. Jacques choreographed for Cirque De Soleil in Vegas, and as soon as I heard that, I thought "ooh...I wonder if Celine's crazy rubbed off on him?". Happily, the answer is yes.

Jacque splits the six dancers into three teams, and the challenge is that each team is playing a couple who are in love and buying a mattress, and they have to use dance and improvisation to find the right one. The first "couple" is played by out dancer Miguel and hot asian chick Michelle, and they start jumping and rolling around on the mattresses, culminating in Miguel stripping to his underwear (and here I thought Kitty with her legs in the air on Brothers & Sisters would be the most scarring image of the week). The other out dancer Michael is paired with the tomboy Janelle, and they manage to be slightly less nauseating. Which brings us to the final couple, the straight guys Cody and Nick. When they came in and found out they were going to be playing a couple who have just fallen in love and are buying a mattress together, they both cringed ... and so did I. I was expecting lots of ensuing gay panic, and there was some, but I think they handled it a lot better than another pair of straight guys.

After the audition, they're split into two groups, and once again, Miguel is upset that he's in the same group as Michael. Each team must perform a modern dance routine on "apparatus", which turns out to be a giant staircase and a swinging sculpture of an atom. And yes, it's as bizarre as it sounds.

There's a twist in the judging this time, though, as the dancers learn that from now on, there is no "winning" and "elimination" group, and any of them could win the challenge, and any of them could be eliminated (except pretty boy Cody, who was given immunity last week).

Miguel was his usual charming self, and he's grown even more outspoken in his irrational fear of Michael:

"It's a joke that Michael is still here"

"I don't like him, and I don't trust him as a dancer"

And my personal favorite, when he's complaining to the other dancer in their group, Janelle, with Michael sitting about ten feet away:

"I wish it was just me and you. We could figure it out as a duet. It's like having two dolphins and then a pig. You gotta hide the pig somehow, in the water, and make him look like a dolphin. How do you expect me to look good? And here I am again, someone with talent, looking like I don't have talent, because I'm with idiots who don't know how to dance"

I do have to give Miguel a little credit, however. He turned around what was a disastrous run-through, and it's because of him that his group didn't totally flop. He ended runner up for the winner of the night (Cody won yet again), which means he'll be around to spread sunshine for at least another week.

Find out how our other gay dancer did, and find out who was eliminated after the break.

Here he cooomes, Mr. Broadwaaay ... Suck It Up this week is all about pageants and glitter (and dancing like the manliest of men, of course!) so prepare yourselves. John and Colin also welcome an amazing guest: the winner of the second-annual Broadway Beauty Pageant, Marty Thomas!

Marty entered as Mr. Xanadu and roller-skated out of there with the title - and with that tiara! The fellas chat about Xanadu's origins, roller-skating injuries and his childhood owning of one Britney Spears on Ed McMahon's Junior Star Search. And oh yeah, they recap the most recent Damn Yankees-themed episode of Step It Up & Dance. Of course.

Check it all out after the break!

The only thing that could have saved this episode would be if these guys suddenly segued into Take Me Out.

It took a while, but Bravo's Step It Up & Dance finally managed to include actual dancing in an episode. The theme was the baseball musical Damn Yankees, and I have to say right off the bat (sorry!), that I'm calling B.S. on this whole episode.

The show starts off with an appearance by guest Jason Alexander (yes, that Jason Alexander, who's actually a Tony-winning musical performer). That leads to the first cringe-inducing moment of the night, as Janelle has this tragic exchange with an off camera producer:

Janelle: "I wish i could have been on an episode of Seinfeld ... maybe that's what we'll win!, you never know!"

Off Camera Producer: "Um ... it's off the air"

Janelle (looking like a deer in floodlights): "Oh...it is?"

Don't worry, Janelle, I'm sure you'll be kicked off in time to see that final episode of M*A*S*H* everyone's talking about.

Next we meet Damn Yankees choreographer Lee Martino, who will judge, after an audition, which dancers are put in the winning group and the elimination group, and this is where things get fishy...

The winning group will consist of four dancers (two teams) who will each perform the dance duet Whatever Lola Wants, which means that the two women remaining (Janelle and Michelle), basically have to be in the winning group, because there's no way they're going to let two guys do a sexually provocative dance like that. So, the two women "survive" the bogus audition, and they're paired up with Cody and Nick, the two straight guys remaining, which leaves the three gay dancers in the elimination group.

Why were Cody and Nick chosen over the other three? Choreographer Lee doesn't say outright, but a common theme in this episode is "masculinity", or rather, the lack of masculinity. At one point, she tells our three guys that they need to "start dancing like men", and of course, there's broken record judge Nancy O'Meara, who once again brings up the "M" word in picking apart the guys. I'm not saying that the three gay dancers were all put in the elimination group on purpose, but my eyebrow was definitely raised.

So, Miguel ,Michael, and Oscar are in the elimination group, and with Miguel having immunity from last week, that means either Oscar or Michael will be going home. Tensions are definitely high the rest of the episode, and frankly, none of our guys ends up looking very good.

All Hail Kellogg's Porn Pops!

Michael had a very rough week. He knew it was a 50/50 chance he'd be eliminated, and he just did not get the hang of the Damn Yankees number. Even worse, he felt (legitimately) that Oscar and Miguel were excluding him, and he never got the proper rehearsal time with either of them. It culminated in a screaming session with some of the other dancers in the apartment, and a hot verbal confrontation with Oscar after their elimination dance.

Was Michael eliminated? Or was it Oscar? find out after the break!

As though last week's Broadway hunk-enhanced vlog weren't fabulous enough, this week the Suck It Up & Dance! boys decided to outdo themselves yet again, but interviewing most of the Step It Up & Dance cast ... in zombie makeup.

Yes, the hopeful hoofers were all on hand at the Tribeca Film Festival to pay tribute to Michael Jackson's groundbreaking "Thriller" video, and John and Colin were there to capture all the undead mayhem and press the contestants for dirt (not that they weren't dirty enough, at that point).

But first, the fellas dish on the latest episode, where the dancers were asked to bang on garbage can lids and tango with brooms with the help of the STOMP! dance crew. How'd they do? Check it all out after the break!

The fourth episode of Step It Up And Dance aired on Bravo last night, and the three out guys left on the show again ran the gamut from winner to elimination nominee. The challenge on this episode was centered on the phenomenon known as STOMP.

Confession time: I'm not really into STOMP. Don't get me wrong, I'm in awe of the talent and artistry it takes, but frankly ... all that banging gives me a headache. And every time I see them running around the stage with brooms, I keep imagining Carol Burnett as her "cleaning lady" character.

My aversion to seeing trash can lids clanged together probably stems from a traumatic moment in elementary school music class, when I was denied my rightful spot as cymbal player, and had to settle for playing the wretched triangle.

I've known people who've followed STOMP around like it was The Grateful Dead, so I have to give props to Luke Cresswell (who shows up as a judge for the competition), who has created something truly unique. However, there were obviously quite a few former triangle players last night, because most of the dancers were less than enthused about this challenge, and one of our gays was openly dismissive about the entire concept.

Miguel has to go. There, I said it. His ego and arrogance have become unbearable, not to mention his petty jealousy of Michael, whose porn pics are now my screensaver were revealed last week. Miguel considers himself an expert on all forms of dance, and is convinced that no one can touch him when it comes to raw ability (even though he's been in the bottom three twice). Here a few quotes from Miguel this week about himself and his fellow dancers:

"People were having problems with the counting, and just with the entire concept of STOMP, and these dancers for the most part don't have it, it's always just a little off"

"It came so naturally to me, I have naturally an amazing sense of rhythm"

"Mike sucks. He is still here, solely based on luck, not on talent"

"Mike's not a dancer, he's a wannabe. I hate that he's on my team"

Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you, Miguel. Unfortunately, he did turn out to have a knack for STOMP, and ended up on the winner's team, where it came down to him and Michael battling for immunity for next week's show. The judges wavered back and forth between the two, before finally settling on ... Miguel. That means he has immunity for next week, and he and his ego will live for at least one more competition.

See how our other two guys fared, and find out who was eliminated, after the break!

This week the Emmy committee announced that a new award would be given out at the next ceremony: Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality Competition Program.

Now, while the idea of debating if Jeff Probst or Tom Bergeron adds more to their show sounds like a worthwhile discussion, I initially filed that bit of news aside since I couldn't quickly think of many openly gay men hosting reality shows.

But what about the gay men who do regularly appear on reality shows ... namely, the mentors and sidekicks? Are Heidi Klum's contributions to Project Runway greater than Tim Gunn's? Similarly, we're seeing more of Step It Up & Dance's mentor Jerry Mitchell than host Elizabeth Berkeley in the show's early episodes. Aren't they a major part of why we enjoy a show?

I guess you could make an argument that these mentors could be seen as co-hosts since they perform many host-like duties (like when they take charge of a challenge), but would the Emmy committee see things that way? If not, the awards would risk missing out on a major part of what makes these shows so praiseworthy.

Then again we're talking about the Emmys. Don't they usually miss out on the most praiseworthy parts of television?

John and Colin really outdo themselves in this week's vlog, which deals with the recent "dance battle" episode of Step It Up & Dance. The fellas show their own street moves, discuss the odd color-coding behind this week's teams (they also announce that they are "The Stinky Pinks"), complain about the bizarre wardrobe changes in the episode, and of course dish on the recent porny goings-on with one of the gay conestants.

But that's not all! The boys then go above and beyond by enlisting wonderfully yummy talented Broadway star Tommy Berklund (currently stepping lively in A Chorus Line) to teach them some moves. It's like Jazzercise ... only gayer!

Check it all out after the break!

And then there were three: After last week's dismissal of James for not being "manly enough", the competition is down to three gay dancers.

This week's theme was hip-hop and "street battles" (aka, "things Snicks has no interest in"). They introduced choreographer Dave Scott, who then made a big ta-doo about introducing ... the star ... of Step Up 2:The Streets ... none other than ... ROBERT HOFFMAN! 

... (sound of crickets playing in Snicks's head).

Now, if he had introduced the star of Breakin', Lucinda Dickey, or the star of Body Rock, "Oz" Alvarez, then i would have been excited. Robert Hoffman is introduced to lots of "ooohs" and "ahhhs", but to me, he danced like Jamie Kennedy in Kickin' It Old Skool. A couple of the dancers, like Jannelle and pretty boy Cody, were naturals for this kind of dancing, but most of the dancers had a tough time of it, including one of our gays. So lets' see how our guys did.

Yes, this IS a scene from Step It Up & Dance

Okay, we can't talk about Michael without mentioning the gay porn elephant in the room (and if you've seen the pics, you know how fitting that statement is). In my first recaplet, i mentioned that he reminded me of a gay porn star, and like many a reality show contestant before him, it turned out to be true. But hey, a guy's gotta eat, right? And besides, at least his past wasn't discovered while he was hitting other guys with giant Q-tips.

Mike was in his element this week, and danced better than he ever has on the show (and once again, Miguel's cattiness and jealousy about him showed up.) He ended up in the top two, and narrowly missed being voted best of the night (that honor went to Jannelle again). In my first recaplet, I said I didn't think he'd be around that long, but he's improved with each show, and I think he now has a legitimate shot to get to the finals. (And if it doesn't happen he can always get work as a tripod.)

See how our other two gay dancers fared after the break!

Chris Craddock and Nathan Cuckow, stars of BASH'd

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• Gay rap opera BASH'd, which tells the story of a gay man who retaliates when his lover is gay-bashed, is getting an Off-Broadway run this summer at the Zipper Theater (starting June 12). Let's see ... yep, this is the only white, gay, and Canadian rap opera running this season.

• Neil Patrick Harris for President? Now there's a nominee we would ALL agree on!

• I can't link directly to it (this is a family site!), but Towleroad got wind of some photographic evidence that queer Step It Up & Dance contestant Mike has a gay porn past. And here when snicks referred to him as Parole Officer Perez from the Latino Fan Club series, I thought he was kidding!

• Christian TV host Azariah Southworth (I know, mouthful, right?) has come out as gay, and is pretty much prepared for his career in Christian television to be over, despite the fact that he knows of a lot of other gay folks behind the scenes who are too afraid to live openly. Good for him!

• Tori Spelling, star of the upcoming gay romantic comedy Kiss the Bride, loves her the gays. But we knew that, as her roles in Trick, So NoTORIous, and pretty much everything else since 90210 can attest.

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...