Hello, my name is Dan and I'm addicted to a little known gay show called Ugly Betty, maybe you've heard of it? By some bizarro chance a network show with openly gay characters, faghags, gay celebrity cameos, friends of Dorothy, and a "hot tranny mess" (their words, not ours!) is being embraced by mainstream America ... who knew? 

Thankfully, millions of you (including the warped minds behind this very site) were in on what I'm just now discovering - that Ugly Betty is a beautifully unapologetic, out and proud celebration of queerness and diversity!

When I received the pilot for Betty in the summer of 2006, I watched it and tossed it back into the pile of screeners from which it came because I thought, "eh."  I feared that the show couldn't walk the fine line between camp and drama without losing its way and I was positive there was no way in frakkin' hell that Sue from Boise was going to embrace the quirk.  Well look who's got egg on his face now?

Not only has Ugly Betty been able to balance laugh out loud camp with sincere and heartbreaking drama (Santos, RIP), it's been able to increase gay visibility in prime-time without any backlash.  Celebs are beating down the Mode door to guest star (Victoria Beckham, Rita Moreno, Patti Lupone, Rebecca Gayheart, Gene Simmons, Project Runway's Tim Gunn and Christian Siriano, Idol's Kat McPhee) and they just landed a huge liability guest star in Lindsay Lohan. Lohan will guest in the May 22nd finale as a mean girl from Betty's past.  At this time, it's reported that LiLo will also return for at least 5 episodes next Fall.  That's crazy talk!

Also crazy ... amazing (cramazing if you will) is the news that Betty will move production to New York City for Season 3.  If you were fooled by the numerous green-screened NYC skyline shots, you're obviously blind because the show has been shot entirely in Hollywood and it was painfully obvious.  *That rustling you hear is all of the AfterElton staffers honing their stalking skills (Christopher Gorham watch out) and ABC prepping a slew of restraining orders to prepare for the move East.

Why do I love Ugly Betty?  Three words: Marc and Amanda.

Michael Urie and Becky Newton are the new Jack and Karen (Will & Grace) with less squealing and a smidge less booze.  As I mentioned in my blog, "Marc and Amanda are so funny that I want to marry both of them and have a cult somewhere in Texas where we breed thousands of little Justin Suarez’s." 

Watching Marc develop from a one-note caricature of a queer to a relationship-ready fully realized character has been my biggest treat while plowing through two seasons of Ugly Betty in less than 3 weeks.  His friendship with Amanda has delivered some of the best comedic lines of any show I've seen all year and their love/hate relationship is aces.  They're co-dependent and I'm looking to join their needy circle because seriously, we'd all be BFF's.  I'm sure you feel the same way.

Don't forget to tune in tomorrow night at 8:00pm EST (ABC) to see Hilda bring the smackdown on Justin's gym teacher (Eddie Cibrian, no less!) and Betty avoid another smackdown with Charlie.  Again, my name is Dan and I'm happy to be down with the Ugly. 

After the break, we're posting some of the best pics from the upcoming finale, which involves three words that could strike fear into the hearts of many gay men: company softball game. 

Eddie Cibrian got game

Shelter star Trevor Wright (the gay surfing movie is currently available On Demand on here!)

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• Attention Shelter-lovers! Cutiepie lead actor Trevor Wright has been cast as the lead in thriller Vacancy 2. I'm thinking it will be kind of like Vacancy 1, only with cheaper actors. (Sorry, but Trevor ain't Luke Wilson!)

• Canadian ultimate fighter Kalib Starnes lost badly to competitor Nate Quarry over the weekend, and stooped to calling him a "faggot" after the fight was over, which of course aired nationally and is now preserved online (warning, several uses of the "other F word" also featured) for perpetuity. In case you're keeping score, the guy who WON is the "faggot". (t/y Stephanie for the tip!)

• Last week we applauded Melbourne television anchor Peter Hitchener for choosing to come out as a gay man for no apparent reason. Well, now it's being alleged that he was blackmailed into coming out by the paper that nabbed the "exclusive". We still applaud Hitchener. The Sunday Herald Sun? Not so much.

Ugly Betty's fab three (Becki Newton, Michael Urie, David Blue)

• Not to be dense, but what the heck kind of sex toy can you fit in your boot, anyway?

• The first Official Ugly Betty Podcast (vlog, dahlings - podcast is SO 2006...) is pretty much the awesomest thing I've seen all month, thanks mostly to the Continued Genius of Becki Newton and the moment where Michael Urie squeezes David Blue's moob.

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

"Are you ready for some football?"

Superbowl Sunday is upon us and while many American’s will be gorging themselves on junk food and a wicked ale while cheering on the Patriots or the Giants, I’ve always been one to avoid the telecast at all costs.  As you can imagine, living in Boston makes it difficult to turn your nose up at the hysteria this town creates for their golden boys the Red Sox and the Patriots but I do my best at shunning the big Tom Brady shaped elephant in the room by hunkering down with the hundreds of other television channels at my disposal.

If you’re a huge football fan, Sunday night is your Oscars.  Sit back with a beer and enjoy watching the burly men ram and pound each other as sweat pours from their heaving chests in glorious HD.  If you’re simply into watching hotties like Tom Brady, Eli Manning, or Amani Toomer - all the power to you; hell, if you just like saying tight end and wide receiver – have a field day because this is your night. It’s Superbowl Sunday!

But if you’re looking for some alternatives to the biggest football game of the year I’ve got the rundown of the best (and worst) in counter programming to help you plan accordingly.  Call your best gays, gal pals, or your grandmother; bust out the wine or sparkling cider, the cheese platter, the crudités and get ready to cheer on your right to choose...

THE MUST LIST:

FOX’s Superbowl Pre-Show with Ryan Seacrest
Airs on FOX
I know what you’re thinking, why would I watch the pre-show if I don’t plan on watching the main attraction?  Well I have a few words for you!  Paula. Abdul. Acting Crazy Singing. Live. For. Reals.  Straight up, the American Idol judge will be performing her new single “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” and I can think of nothing better than watching her lip-sync her way out of that bag of crazy.  As an added bonus, Randy “Have I told you that I was in Journey, Dawg?” Jackson will be performing with her.  Train wreck!

Puppy Bowl IV
Airs: 3:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m. (Animal Planet)
If you like your action a little furry and with leather studded collars this is the show for you!  Animal Planet’s pawsitively genius Puppy Bowl returns for a fourth year with way too much cuddly cuteness for one person to handle.  This show makes putting balls in your mouth and chasing tail a sporting event!  Not to be outdone by Tom Petty, this Half-Time Show features its own band of Heartbreakers… kitties, kitties, and more kitties! 

Much, much more after the break...

Last night’s Ugly Betty, “A Thousand Words by Friday,” was the saddest episode yet. And I don’t mean because anything particularly sad happened. I’m singing the Betty blues because it’s looking to be the last new episode we’re going to get in a long while.

It’s particularly painful because the show’s been on a real creative high lately. This week was filled with reminders of everything that makes this such a wonderful, totally unique series, and why our TV options will feel so paltry now that it’s gone:

1) It’s still the gayest show in town. At the start of the episode, a beautiful stranger played by Gabrielle Union approaches Daniel in a bar. She asks him to dance, claiming she’s trying to make her thug of a boyfriend jealous, and then wonders why Daniel’s not at all worried about getting pummeled.

Daniel: Your boyfriend’s making out with another dude.

And just like that, the camera cuts to two tattooed bikers going at it, hot and heavy, a gay kiss in the first minutes of a “family hour” primetime show. It was a funny surprise, but also a reminder of how Betty routinely manages to feature gay and gay-friendly characters within its world.

A similar moment came when Alexis casually referenced her transgender support group to Daniel. We’ve moved past the family conflicts that Alexis’ surgery had initially ignited; it’s simply a part of who she is now, not the central drama in her life. (At the same time, mention of a support group, the first we’ve heard of it, emphasized that even for someone as seemingly self-possessed as Alexis, it’s not always a walk on the catwalk.)

But what makes this not just a show with gay characters but a gay old time is the exhilarating way every detail – the set decoration, camerawork, costumes, music, campy dialogue – brings out a gay sensibility in the show’s look and feel unlike anything else on TV right now. It’s like watching an early Almodóvar movie unfold on your TV screen week after week.

In one of the best-ever lines on Ugly Betty, Hilda once referred to the Mode offices as being “like a gay version of Star Trek.” Watching last night’s new episode, I thought she might be onto something. There was something very sci-fi about the way Marc managed to appear in so many scenes, as if he’d figured out a way to teleport into other characters’ storylines.

The extra dose of Marc - plus a Justin visit to Mode (more on that later) - made this one of the strongest episodes this season, a welcome relief after the recent creative slumpette and holiday hiatus.

The episode kicked off with Marc asking Wili to “turn around and bend over.” While Marc claimed this was something he never thought he’d say to a woman, I bet he says that to all the boys. He was in the midst of giving Wili hormone injections in preparation for her plan to propagate Bradford’s demon spawn, leading the dragon lady to act uncharacteristically “hormotional.” When Wili went digging through the freezer, I assumed she was searching for the half-pint of Bradford sperm she was keeping on ice (giving new meaning to the flavor "Cookies and Cream"), but she was merely on a hormone-induced binge.

While Marc, accustomed to giving Wili injections thanks to all the botox sessions, was fine with the hormone stuff, the more graphic elements of artificial insemination had him visibly grossed out. His expressions of nausea and disgust while overhearing Wili with her doctor were priceless, especially when Wili interrupted their cell phone call to bark at her doctor, “What is the hold-up down there? Last time I was in stirrups this long, I brought home a blue ribbon from Palm Beach equestrian.”

I've been very curious about the new miniseries Miss America: Reality Check that TLC has been plugging like crazy lately. The show takes 52 aspiring Miss America contestants and runs them through a makeover in an attempt to put to rest some of the worst pageant cliches. 

The pageant stuff I really couldn't care less about, despite the fact that they're having a bit of a reality show renaissance as of late. What I find interesting is that Ugly Betty's wonderfully witty Michael Urie (Marc St. James) is the host, and from all outward appearances he's carrying quite a bit of his on-screen fashionista persona with him into this reality show project.

Urie has declined to discuss his sexuality publicly, which is of course his choice and completely fine with me. But it does seem odd that Urie is comfortable appearing as himself in a manner that so closely resembles his insanely flamboyant and very gay television character. Since he's playing a gay character, people will naturally speculate that he's gay, and if he doesn't want to address that, that's fine. But doesn't it seem an odd choice to then take a project that would only fuel speculation by tying his gay character more directly to his off-screen self? Maybe it's a trivial point, but it did strike me as a bit odd. Still, he's the reason I'll be tuning in. 

TLC has uploaded a second commercial for the show that jokes about Urie being their version of The Bachelor (the spot's much funnier overall than the ad that's showing every 3 minutes on TV). Check it out over here!