Cultural Institution Sir Ian McKellen

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• A Conversation with Sir Ian has been nominated for a 2008 Webby Award, under the "Cultural Institutions" category. I don't know that I'd put the man out to pasture just yet with that designation, but I suppose we've all probably been called worse things.

• I don't know if anyone has been catching EW's America's Next Top Doll webseries, but this week's makeover episode is just crazy enough reason to start tuning in. (I particularly like the mermaid's makeover, where they cut off her fins so she can be "where the people are".)

• Is He Who Blogs Behind the Rows really cleaning up his act? We'll believe it when the shocking footage of him rescuing a kitten out of a tree surfaces on TMZ.

• Why is Harvey Fierstein serenading Kathie Lee Gifford? Or is MadTV syndicating sketches to The Today Show now?

• Dan Savage, the outspoken gay writer behind Savage Love (I started reading him way back when it was called "Hey, Faggot") and the brilliant Skipping Towards Gomorrah, has lost his mother. His column today is a heartfelt remembrance of her, and our sympathies are with him and his family.

• Jerry Mitchell (whom we recently interviewed about Step It Up & Dance) is publishing a photo-filled book this summer about his other campfest, Broadway Bares, the strip-show that has raised a heck of a lot of money for Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS. The racy cover can be found after the break.

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

Wow.

Remember those rumors floating that Perez Hilton might have been one of the contenders for the open slot on The View? We can pretty much consider those as dead as the poodle skirt.

As we mentioned earlier in the Queerview, Hilton appeared on The View today and the segment consisted almost entirely of Elisabeth, Joy, Whoopi, and Sherri criticizing him for being a shameless muckraker. It was pretty amazing -- not only did the ladies not press Hilton for any gossip (which, considering that's all he's good for, essentially rendered him useless), but they also ignored his "big exclusive breaking news" that he's got a series of one-hour shows coming to VH1 (they didn't even dignify the news with a response) and continually attacked him for his methods and apparent lack of a soul of any kind.

Elisabeth confronted Hilton for calling her "Elisabitch" and for once came across as the more balanced and intelligent part of the argument, and Whoopi laid out for Perez exactly how uncomfortable the bed that he's made is going to be to sleep in down the road.

Choice lines:

Joy: How much do you make off [your website]?
Perez: A lady doesn't discuss her finances.

(Right ... a "lady" gets famous for drawing semen and scrawling "GAY!" on photos of famous people)

As we've noted several times in the past, rising pop sensation Mika kind of gets on our nerves. He's back again to tell us how positively boring it is to speak freely about one's sexuality, appearing on the cover of Out magazine with the text "Gay/Post-Gay/Not Gay?" blazing across his chest.

Mika, I don't care if you're gay, and neither do the people who enjoy your music, I'm sure. But I really am not interested in playing peek-a-boo with you while you try to sell me your record. Trust me -- if the dazzling display of PR sleight-of-hand shown above didn't fall squarely within this site's focus, I wouldn't be wasting my time with it.

As we've also noted, self-proclaimed celebrity outer Perez "the closet doesn't exist anymore" Hilton has curiously hung up his weapons of outing torture in the case of Mika, who seems to have cleverly dodged Perez's pink bullets by inviting him onto his PR wagon.

But even Perez's readers seem to be onto the game and over the lame attempts at mystifying Mika's sexuality in order to sell records. Check out the comments on this article, which range from:

"PEREZ HAS HIS HEAD SO FAR UP THIS MIKA'S ASS ... IT'S SICKENING"

To...

"Who cares what he is. He is about as interesting to me as a wet fart. What's so knew about his story anyway - young gay guy thinks he's got a shot at the big time and knows that coming out may not translate into big bucks. Elton John and George Michael did the same thing when they were young."

While we're on the subject, what the hell is "Post-Gay" anyway? Is that some fabulous new cereal? I wasn't aware that your sexuality was something that you could (or would want to) "move past".

Brit/Lebanese pop sensation Mika is confused. And I don't mean sexually confused, because even though he refuses to speak about his sexuality publicly, I'm quite sure he's got it all figured out, personally. Which is why the shaggy-headed chanteuse can't fathom why, with his Freddy Mercury falsetto and colorful clothes and defiantly flamboyant posturing, the gays haven't fallen for him hook, line, and swisher.

Just a thought: maybe gays don't like being pandered to any more than any one else does. And Mika's mixed signals have a whiff of opportunism about them, something that can turn off many gay folks faster than the words "Don Imus sex tape". He actively markets himself to a gay audience and yet won't acknowledge his own sexuality, be it straight or gay (does it matter? No -- and that's what makes his coyness so bizarre). He is notoriously tight-lipped about his personal life, yet has "Queen of all media" Perez Hilton -- who became famous for outing gay celebs -- on his promotional tour, and has somehow kept Perez from digging into his personal life and splashing it across his pages with hot-pink "HOMO!"s and "GAY!"s scrawled across it. Doesn't smack of collusion at all, does it?

While I myself find the guy's music catchy (almost annoyingly so), I'm not a fan of the accompanying feeling that he's patting my head and picking my pocket at the same time -- and maybe I'm not the only one, by the sound of it.

Maybe this just further proof that the gays are a more cautious audience (or "target market") than many people think (something that was touched upon recently in an article on gay-specific advertising). Otherwise, what could explain Mika's failure to grow a healthy gay following? He fed them, watered them, and did everything else it said to do on the box. Let's just hope he didn't feed any of them after midnight, because we all know what happens then!

Attention all teeny boppers, middle-aged gay men hip gay boys, and anyone else who likes pop stars possessing a vague sexuality: Mika is coming to America! Oh, my gawd! I might faint from the excitement!

Oh, wait. I already saw Mika in New York at a Barnes & Noble. Why that practically makes him yesterday's news. Yawn.

Okay, I don't really think that. I'm listening to Life in Motion pretty frequently even if I'm still annoyed over the whole Perez Hilton connection. So for those of you that just can't wait to cough up a ridiculous amount of dough, here are the "reported" dates (I just checked Mika's website and a US tour isn't listed so I'm slightly suspicious):

Fri June 8 Los Angeles Avalon
Sat. June 9 San Francisco/Fillmore
Mon. June 11 Chicago/Metro
Tues. June 12 Wash. DC/9:30 Club.
Wed June 13 Boston/Avalon
Fri. June 15 New York Nokia Theater
Sat. June 16 Atlanta Center Stage
Sun. June 17 Miami Studio A

And since we haven't had a Mika video in a bit here is "Love Today".

On Friday we decided to treat ourselves and head on over to the Time Warner center to catch sexually ambivalent British pop star Mika's first East Coast in-store and signing. And I'm a bit sad to say that it left a bad taste in my mouth -- and I'm not just talking about the lollipops that they handed out.

It wasn't that Mika started an hour after the scheduled time -- he was at a photo shoot (for Out magazine, as the PR guy was keen to announce to the throngs of teenaged girls and thirtysomething gay men that had gathered) and these things happen. It wasn't the fact that there was no oxygen to be had after about twenty minutes or that someone right in front of me stank to high heaven.

It was the fact that Mika was introduced by Perez Hilton.

Those of us who have been following Mika's Stateside invasion have noticed that Perez has been oddly prominent at the early appearances of this particular musician. Odd, in that Hilton isn't a music critic and doesn't run a music site -- he's a gossip writer who has made his politics crystal clear when it comes to celebrities whose sexualities fall under public scrutiny. After having forcibly "outed" Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris, Hilton said on his own site:

"Today is a victory. Today is another step towards full equality under the law for gays and lesbians. … We are so proud (despite the naysayers) in having a hand in bringing about change. … The closet no longer exists if you are a celebrity or a politician! … We are throwing down the gauntlet and issue a challenge to all the closeted celebrities out there: Come out. Come out NOW! Come out in droves!!"

Oh really? "The closet no longer exists"? How interesting, then, that Hilton is now an honorary member of the PR posse of a man who flat-out refuses to discuss his sexuality publicly. Isn't Mika exactly the kind of celeb that Perez would usually attack for his coyness? Could it be that Hilton has compromised his well-documented principles for the chance to be part of an album launch and for a place in the pocket of a pop star?

I would hope that Hilton has at least wrangled an exclusive closet-bursting interview from the singer (if he is indeed gay) in return for his troubles -- anything less and I'd think the guy was losing his edge. There has to be a reason why a man who has made a career of outing people and a singer who won't discuss his sexuality but actively courts a gay audience are sharing the stage like some sort of acid-induced sister act.

Was this Mika's doing? Or Perez's? I hate to point fingers, but there's something very wrong with this picture, and it's not just the hair color.

Apparently Brit pop sensation Mika (with whom we're a teeny bit obsessed) played an in-store show at a Virgin Megastore yesterday (I'm guessing this was in LA), and a photographer was there to capture the event. Here are a few snaps:

Now, we know that Mika has said in interviews lately that he's been receiving death threats because of his rumored sexuality. But might I suggest that he could actually be getting those threats because of the company he chooses to keep while visiting the States? I mean really -- could Virgin not come up with anyone other than Andy Dick and Perez Hilton to endorse the event? Dick at least seems sober, although Hilton looks like he came straight from some Dr. Seuss-themed Black Party...

Be careful, Mika. If you don't play your cards right, that "$10" sign on the floor could apply to you faster than you can say "Rick Astley".

UPDATE: Gossip blog A Socialite's Life caught Mika's West Hollywood concert over the weekend and posted a few pics, as well as another blue-haired Perez sighting.