Last night was the season finale of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency and in previous seasons, I'd be crushed that we have to wait a couple months for more deliciously naughty pseudo-modeling catastrophes but as of right now I'm done.  

Find out why after the break!

Tonight The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency has its Season Finale, and from the looks of the preview clip we have, it may be the end of Alpha Gay model J.P. Calderon's career in front of the camera ... but that doesn't mean it's the end of him and Janice. Check out a touching history of J.P.'s special relationship with Janice and their teary conversation.

Check it out, after the jump!

Previously on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the plus sized models moved into the house and all hell broke loose. This week, the drama picks right back up with Chandler and Alana fighting about size, space, language and what it means to show a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Previously on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, while Janice taught the girls how to strip down and seduce a man we were left wondering how long it would take for the boys to reclaim their throne as the most naked folks on reality television.  Well, the wait is over because last night on JDMA, those boys and their buns were high and tight thanks to a new job for the Agency.  All together now: "It's about damn time!" 

Now I don't want you to think that this week was all about boys in underwear, as a huge focus of JDMA this week was on plus size models.  We've heard the that stick figure Janice squawk about it before but when their newest client Seven 'til Midnight demands girls with curves, Janice's son Nathan steps in to fight for fuller figured girls.

J.P.'s not feeling his Doctor Dirty outfit

At the beginning of the casting, AfterElton.com fave J.P. Calderon pulls Janice aside to withdraw himself from the casting.  Dressed as a Dirty Doctor, he voices his opinions on how this will make him look in the eyes of the gay community.  J.P. feels that he is poking fun at his image and doing a diservice to anyone that looks up to him as a gay role model.  Instead of slapping him or firing him, Janice actually sympathizes with his position and supports the man.  It was like bizarro world in the JDMA house for a second.

After the client pickes newbies Xian and Selena to join veteran model and David Beckham look-alike Dominic for their photo shoot, the client explains how they are a company for every kind of person and inquires where Janice's plus-sized girls are.

Check out Janice's priceless plus-sized reaction

You'd think that they had just told Janice that they wanted an unborn fetus to wear a mink stole while rollerskating on the back of a hippo with the way she reacts.  Janice doe everything but slap the client across the face for suggesting she have fuller-figured girls on her roster.

Thank goodness Nathan is there to save the day!  Who knew he'd be the rational one in bunch?  Tasked with finding a crop of cake eaters with only a couple hours to spare, the boy is put to work in hopes of sealing the deal.  Well, he delivers!  In wald three buxom babes ready to change Janice's mind and make her a lot of money in the process.

Ivory, Amber and Alana bring the sass, the sex and the size that Seven til Midnight is looking for but the job goes to Ivory, Nathan's newest discovery.  At the shoot the next day, Ivory is the model that the client loves the most so when Janice walks onto set my heart sinks in fear of how she will act toward her newest star.  

A little costume play for Ivory and Dominic

Just as I feared, Janice acts like a 18 year old frat boy.  The second she sees Ivory in her sexy cop outfit she turns and starts telling Dom that she can't handle seeing the girl's fat behind.  She asks Nathan for a bag that she can throw up into.  It gets so bad at one point that Nathan actually has to push her (by the face) out of the room.  Now, look at Ivory in her sexy cop outfit, the girl is slammin' - at any size - and it's sickening that Janice can't recognize that and show some respect.  

More drama (and a ton more underwear shots!) after the break...

Previously on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, the models started shacking up Real World style so this week everyone knew that some of the sexual tension would come to a head *wink wink*

The episode kicks off not with naked pool antics or fist fighting but with shirtless newbie Paul Vandervort trying to put the moves on Traci (seriously has she not learned her lesson yet). The poor kid has no game, but thankfully he's hitting on a model and not trying to impress a Nobel laurete or anything.  The funny thing is that he's totally still hitting on girls by picking on them and making fun of them ... it's grade school all over again.

That was a boring start to the show right?  Well, within minutes a big gay swirling whatsit stormed the JDMA house.  Fashion Designer Merlin Castell is looking to use some of Janice's models for his new high end couture line.  Janice started frothing at the mouth, finally hearing the words "couture" in the same sentence with her agency.  

Designer Merlin Castell, check out that "style turban"!

Merlin is looking for a girl that can give life to his clothes and who has a fierce confident walk, not girls that look like soccer players about to take a sh*t. With his whip in hand, his "style turban" on his head and a mouth that wouldn't stop, he knocked every single model down a notch. He called them fat, he made fun of their style and he certainly didn't appreciate any of their catwalks. Janice convinces him to give her another shot which either means she's about to have yet another open casting call or that she just bought stock in laxatives.

Back on the hot guy front, Janice has been using her super secret spy cameras to catch Chandler Maness calling Traci a whore and a slut for being all flirty with Paul.  Janice confronts the boy and he blatantly lies to her face, telling Janice that not only has he never said that but that Traci is a virgin, prompting the best Janice line of the night: "She's a virgin like I'm a fu*king three-headed ape..."

Chandler gets scolded by Mama Bear

Later that night, "style turban" returns and this time he's wearing some gold russet potato sack of a jumpsuit and the man is still carrying around that whip.  If this isn't a publicity stunt I don't know what one is.  The man hates the JDMA models and seriously is trying to push poor Crystal to the point of suicide with his constant taunting and insistence on her being "too commercial."

This week The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency ramped up the drama by continuing where we left off last week, with Kehoe's crazy ass getting escorted from the house.  The boy just doesn't get that he pushes everyone so far that it eventually had to bite him in that well-toned behind of his. 

If he was so worried about about being homeless and claiming that living in the house was his last resort, then why would he start chomping at the scary wrinkled, yet meticulously manicured hand that feeds him.  Kehoe needs therapy. 

You remember how gay fave J.P. Calderon is always the peacemaker?  Not last night; he followed Kehoe out and read the boy!  He was throwing more shade than an oak tree and I loved every second of it!  "All you're thinking about is trying to be cute, trying to be funny and getting attention.  You need to learn man!"  Let the back peddling begin.

J.P. schools Kehoe

Columbo Janice used her super-spy monitor to deduct that newbie Polina may have an eating disorder.  The girl is eating at 3:30 in the morning and making funny sounds in the bathroom not to mention Janice found a bottle of throat spray under her bed.  Either the girl's interrupted or she's practicing for the next Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest.

This week's big casting was for TINte Cosmetics and it was the first time all season that we've seen Janice's main gay Gabe back in action. He's been enlisted to help make the girls presentable for the client.  With all this good has to come some bad for Janice's main gay but more on that in a minute.

Previously on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, Kehoe got naked, Kehoe forced his way into the new model house, Kehoe got in a fight with newbie Chandler and finally, Kehoe auditioned for the Kentucky Jeans shoot. Guess how this week begins?

Kehoe, in his element underwear

With Kehoe getting naked and showering in the model house pool!  He proves that even if you wake up with morning wood, the pool causes major shrinkage - this boy has issues.  Crystal called him out in the most perfect way: "You can put a shower cap on but you can't cover your %@#$" (There's a cap of it after the break, as it's a wee bit racy an image for you to be gazing at over your morning coffee, believe me.)

In non-Kehoe related news (because I hate giving him more attention), my Ex-TV BF and current gay fave Martin Ritchie spends the beginning of the episode feeling left out because if his enterpreter isn't present, the other models forget to write down what they're saying ... sadly, I have a sinking suspision that this is going to carry over into his first JDMA/Kentucky Jeans shoot.

Janice spends a good portion of the episode obsessively cleaning and trying to make everyone's bed with her "bitch nails" - guess what?  Her OCD is not going to fly in a house with 15 skanky models. Who knew Janice was such a germophobe and ugly American?

Ugly American?  Why's that, Dan?  Well I'll tell you why, kids: Hands down my favorite part of the first half of the episode was Janice ignorantly talking slowly, loudly and closely to her newest protege, Hazuki Kato, as if the girl barely understands the words coming out of her mouth.  She may be Asian, Janice, but that doesn't mean she can't comprehend and speak perfect English.  It's horrible but it's hysterical.  I rewound Janice telling Hazuki she needs to cut her hair about five times, I could not believe it!

If Kehoe got naked earlier in the episode, then it must be time for Janice to rip poor Traci apart for being fat again.  I love that we've gone 4 seasons and this is still an issue. Do you guys think Traci is big?  I mean, she's not Kate Moss thin but she's far from Carnie Wilson.  

At the Kentucky Jeans shoot things finally got really gay!  Some half-naked man-on-man, down-on-the-farm wrasslin' took place between Kehoe and smokin' hot Dominic. 

Last week on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, her highness moved into a modeling house and once again tormented her loyal and adoring models by pitting them against the newbies to see who stays and who goes. 

Janice gives Christian a bitch love tap

This week we pick up right where we left off; the current models are losing their minds.  Maurice, Dominic, CC and Crystal have their panties in a bunch but it's Christian that gets slapped across the face for making fun of Martin Ritchie.  Why do people put up with her Mommie Dearest schtick?  Seriously, someone needs to slap her back! You can't run a business and go around slapping your employees, period.  She's ridiculous and I'm sorry I love it.

Before we move on, I guess I have to address the fact that my newest TV Boyfriend and I have already broken up.  I'm fine, send money instead of flowers if you must but we're through.  If you haven't heard, JDMA's deaf and gay model and my now TV Ex has a hidden past.  That's right kids, Martin Ritchie has been in porn.  (Sorry, can't link to it here, but Google him and you'll find it.)

Sure, it's nothing new for Janice to have a gay porn model in her agency but it was too much for me to handle so we're through.  I live in Massachusetts folks, I'm part Pilgrim what can I tell ya?

Alright, you can Google away and come back when you've satisfied the curiosity (if you must) but I'm moving forward kiddies!

The first night in the house is Modeling 101 which consists of stripper poles, weight consultations and yeast infections.  It's like college all over again! 

Previously on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency... oh come on, you don't think I could recap the glamour, the glitz, the bitch slaps, the gay dates,  the Peter drama, and the onslaught of male nudity that was Season 3, did you?  Instead let's just get right into the Season 4 premiere.

Janice kicks off the show with what else but a casting.  It seems like she's always looking to stir the pot and if that means kicking half of the models out each season, so be it.  Back are her trusty faves:  J.P. Calderon, Crystal, CC,  Kehoe, Traci, Dominic, Christian, Payton, Maurice, Danny and a slew of other models are back, not to mention poor Sorin who's still wearing that damn "Security" half-shirt.  I hope she pays that boy in needle and thread.

Martin Ritchie

Yeah, like that'll last.

J.P. Calderon, Crystal Truehart, Janice Dickinson, and Nathan Fields

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• At top, Janice Dickinson, JP Calderon, Janice's son and some other model one of Janice's fave female models post at a recent "walk-off" publicity event in NYC to promote tonight's season premiere. Pretend you didn't miss them!

• I don't even know what the ATP World Tour is, but if it involves a calendar with shirtless tennis players, it's alright by me.

• A new exhibition at the British Library includes some revealing information about how gay characters and themes have been suppressed in the theatre. Quite!

• Above, from our newsy sib site, 365Gay: HIV/AIDS is spreading in parts of the South at alarming rates, in two communities in particular. Randall Pinston has the story.

• Am I the only one who thinks that Chris Matthews might want to try some Activia before he jumps into any Senatorial races?

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...