You don't know how long I've been waiting to use that Tori Spelling-inspired title.

Today's Hollyoaks clip is very short, but crucial. It opens with Kieron packing up his priest paraphernalia, presumedly to send back to the church. (Although it's the kind of stuff that's just begging to be put on eBay. "Collar of disgraced priest" would fit in nicely along with the listing for "Image of Jesus on half eaten Digiorno pizza", and all the listings for Reflectoporn.)

John Paul is there to help him through it, though, and they decide that it's time to stop hiding and make their first public appearance.

Unfortunately, when they arrive at The Dog, Mercedes informs them that Myra is there. J.P. thinks it's too soon for them to deal with her, but Kieron decides to make a stand, which might be a mistake considering she's been reminding me a bit lately of Annie Wilkes (I almost expected her to begin her rant here with "YOU! YOU DIRTY BIRD, HOW COULD YOU?").

Myra comes out and starts laying in to them, but they hold their ground, and when she calls Kieron an "outcast," he jumps up and delivers an impassioned defense of their love and the choices that the both of them have made.

Obviously, they're going to continue to have problems with Myra, but at least it's all out in the open now, and I have to say, the kiss at the end is a major improvement over yesterday's perfunctory peck.

You can see today's clip after the break, and check back for more updates!

Today's Hollyoaks clip starts with Myra (wearing the latest from the Mamie Van Doren line of bathrobes) gently caressing the sleeping head of her son, John Paul. My first thought was "Whoa, this is a little too La Luna for me" (especially because the tune playing was the classic song of longing, "I Go To Sleep"), but it was actually a very sweet scene.

J.P. is angling to move back in, but first he has to endure Mercedes and her "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" jealousy. In his attempt to suck up to his mother, he accidentally startles her while she's absorbed in reading (and judging from the orgasmic moan she lets out, it was either My Secret Garden or Honcho). Myra tells him he can move back in, but when he comes back, "There'll be a bag of spuds to peel"... aah yes, the classic Beetle Bailey punishment, that'll teach him.

Kieron is about to leave town again, thanks to Niall and his lies about J.P., but he first decides to pay a visit to Myra, to make peace. He shows up with a bouquet of flowers, and the results of the adoption research. Myra refuses to accept his apology, and orders him to take his flowers and leave (they obviously remind her how he "deflowered" her son).

Kieron returns to Niall's flat ... where J.P. is packing his things. They see each other, and I'll leave the rest of the scene to you. Suffice it to say that both actors do a great job of projecting sadness, excitement, and anger in this reunion scene, and while the outcome was a no-brainer, it still ends sweetly, if a bit anti-climactic (and that kiss won't go down in the hall of fame).

You can see today's clip after the break, and we'll keep you updated (there's going to be a lot of J.P/Kieron coming up).

Hollyoaks actors James Sutton and Jake Hendricks pal it up at the Inside Soap Awards launch

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• We didn't make it to Outfest this year, but GLAAD's got some great coverage of not only a bunch of the features, but also the filmmaker panels and events.

• We missed this one a little while back, but the BBC movie Being Human, which starred out British actor Russell Tovey (The History Boys), has been picked up for series. No word on casting yet, but here's hoping that Tovey returns as the resident angsty twentysomething werewolf. (Yes, you read that right.)

• Never content to let a chance to utter the magical words "Cheyenne Jackson" slip by, allow us to direct you to this charming feature that Time Out NY recently did of the Broadway multiple-threat (I stopped counting, really).

Sean Penn as Harvey Milk made the cover of Vanity Fair's Fanfair (courtesy of boy culture)

• Here's a rather charming interview with John Barrowman in which he discusses in depth his decision to participate in an investigation into the causes of sexuality (the Making of Me documentary) that also includes some great audio of John doing his Scottish accent.

• There's much buzz today about a bill being pushed in Massachusetts that would repeal a 1913 law that currently prohibits gay couples from out-of-state from marrying there. With nearby New York now acknowledging same-sex unions enacted in states where such unions are legal, the change would mean oodles of tourist dollars for Mass. (Currently New Yawkahs have to fly to California.)

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

Today's Hollyoaks opens with a great scene of John Paul and Niall as they start their day in perfect synch with each other (right down to their abundant boxer briefs). J.P. is in white, and Niall is in black (do you think that's a message?), and as they stir their coffee in unison, a creepy smile comes over Niall's face (obviously, he thinks he has J.P. right where he wants him).

After some lurid conversation about butter (which is heavy with sexual innuendo...isn't it?...oh dear, I've got to stop running that J.P./Niall slashfic in my mind ...They're brothers, Snicks, stop it!), Niall asks J.P. to move in on a permanent basis.

Back at school, J.P., Kris, and Elliot (who I firmly believe is hiding a Travis Bickle mowhawk under those knit caps) are anxiously awaiting their grades, and it's good news for J.P.

He rushes home to tell his mum that he passed with flying colors, and she tells Michaela (who's been wearing that pink bow in her hair for so long that it's now turned a moldy green) to "set another place for tea," which I think is the British equivalent of "all is forgiven".

While this is going on, Niall is getting ready for his hot date night watching a boxing match with J.P., when there's a knock at the door...

You can see today's Hollyoaks clip, with its not-so-surprising surprise, after the break, and we'll be sure to keep you updated.

Today's Hollyoaks clip is very short, but it gives me an opportunity to declare my love for Mercedes, who is the older sister of John Paul.

Why do I have such affection for her? Because frankly, she scares the bejeezus out of me. This is one tough chick, and her B.S. meter goes into hyperdrive when J.P. tells her that Kieron has left. As hard edged as she is, it's obvious she loves her brother dearly, and heaven help anyone who hurts a member of her family.

Which is why Niall better watch himself. He's playing master manipulator right now, lying to J.P. about Kieron and feigning concern for Tina (whom he pushed down the steps). But if Mercedes finds out the truth about what he's done ... let's just say she'll have a brand new pair of earrings to wear around town.

You can see today's Hollyoaks clip after the break, and come back for more updates (and don't worry ... I have a strong feeling that Kieron will be back soon).

Like every Hollyoaks fan, I was saddened (though not exactly shocked) to hear about the decision of James Sutton to leave the show, and wondered what it would mean for his character, the gay teen John Paul.

James was interviewed for the Hollyoaks website, and has this to say about what to expect with the exit of J.P.:

"Lots of thrills and spills really! It's very exciting, I've only just read the scripts and it's great. They've put a lot of time and effort into it and because they have brought Guy Burnet (Craig) back and stuff it's all going to tie together really well. And of course the Father Kieron element as well!"

And as to whether he'd rather see J.P. end up with Craig or Kieron, he plays it safe:

"I couldn't say really! I know Guy (Craig) and Jake (Kieron) have both got their own fans now so I wouldn't want to offend either band of people! But they are both great."

If the acting thing doesn't work out, James can always choose a career in politics. Oh, just kidding. We actually caught up with the actor the other day (our editor says that he's a doll), and we'll have a much more revealing interview up on the main page on Wednesday.

They've also released this first pic of Guy back on the set. Check it out and discuss after the break!

*Note - Title is not a euphemism.

Today's Hollyoaks clip begins with John Paul and Kieron making plans...to leave Hollyoaks! Kieron is unsure, though. He doesn't want J.P. to leave without telling his family (especially his mother) goodbye, and asks J.P. for the umpteenth time if this is really what he wants.

Kieron: I just can't get my head around you being willing to give up your family for me.

J.P.: Why? I know what you've given up for me.

Um ... yeah, one of you is giving up God, the other one ... the McQueen family. I guess that's even.

They pack their things and get all the way to the train stop, when J.P. gets a phone call informing him that his very pregnant sister Tina has "fallen" down some stairs, and has been rushed to the hospital. Their plans are therefore put on hold as J.P. leaves for the hospital, and Kieron brings their stuff back to the flat.

The reason I put "fallen" in quotes is because it was actually Niall who pushed Tina down the steps, meaning he can cross #6 off his "destroy the McQueens!" to-do list. I fully expect to see Niall having a Dynasty-esque mud fight with Kieron before this is all over ... preferably naked.

As J.P. goes to the hospital, Kieron runs into violent delinquent Ste, who is an abusive thug, but is trashy hot in a Kevin Federline sort of way (please don't tell anyone I said that). J.P. walks into the hospital and is reunited with his mother, and for the moment, they're a family again.

Actually, having the entire McQueen family in the same room illuminates how utterly perfect the casting for this show is. There wasn't a moment that I did not believe that these people weren't a real family. A horribly dysfunctional family, but when the chips are down, they come together (I can totally see them as a Ma Barker style 1930's era family).

The rest is too good to spoil, so I'll leave it to you, but it involves more evil Niall machinations, Ste stripping (while Kieron watches), and a shocking finale.

You can see the clip after the break, and be sure to come back for more Hollyoaks updates.

Today's Hollyoaks clip opens with Kieron deciding to pay a visit to grieving bride/widow Steph, against the advice of John Paul. Kieron is by nature a compassionate person, and even though he's not wearing the collar anymore, he still feels a desire to tend to people in need.

When Steph opens the door to let Kieron in, the poor girl looks like she's on her way to pose for a Hole album, and is still in shock over the sudden, brutal death of Max. She refuses to take off the wedding dress, and Kieron tries to counsel her, but being without the collar is like Batman without his utility belt, and he leaves Sam to console Steph.

J.P. is coming out of the shower when there's a knock at the door. (What is it with him and showers? His mother caught him in a towel, too. Not that I'm complaining.) When he answers the door, it turns out to be Father No-Nookie, who tries to convince J.P. that he's too young to understand Kieron's commitment to the church. Kieron comes home, and tells the man in no uncertain terms that if he has to choose, he chooses John Paul.

They share a tender moment together, but it all has taken on a very bittersweet tone now that we all know that James Sutton is leaving the show. Is it just me, or is anyone else looking at them differently now that there may be an expiration date to their relationship?

After the break, you can see today's clip, and come back for more Hollyoaks updates.

Now that the truth of the relationship of John Paul and Kieron has been revealed, things are settling down in Hollyoaks, and drama makes room for the wedding reception of Steph and Max.

It's a lovely reception, marred only slightly by Max dying a horrible, bone-crushing death at the hands of Niall!

In this clip, it's shortly after Max has been taken away (in an ambulance with sirens blaring, which seems like overkill considering ... he's dead), and Steph and Sam arrive at the hospital, where Sam fondles the watch that Max gave him for being best man. (I have to believe that Sam is feeling guilty for responding to Max's final words "I love you, mate" with "don't be gay".) Niall rushes in, and Steph makes it clear that she blames him for her husband's death (I think the statement "you killed my husband" says it all).

Niall arrives back at his flat, where J.P. and Kieron try to comfort him, and explain that if it was his fault, he'd still be at the police station (I guess they don't have "vehicular manslaughter" in England, or even "reckless driving", considering he was peeling out of there at about 100 m.p.h. when he hit Max).

After Myra shows up at the reception and learns the truth, J.P. pays her a visit to try and patch things up. What happens next I'll leave to you to discover, but here are some highlights:

Myra making me laugh out loud be insinuating that J.P. is "selfish".

J.P. arriving at Kieron's flat still wearing that striped shirt with the hood on, looking like a cross between Waldo and the Unabomber.

J.P. getting a glass of water in the dark, and turning around to be startled by Niall, like he's a cat in a horror movie.

You can see the clip after the break, and check back for more J.P./Kieron fallout. I'm loving this stuff! (Except for the sad news that James Sutton will be leaving the show in a few months, of course.)