This episode of My Life on the D List starts with Kathy Griffin talking about trying to lure her mother away from her gay and equip her with "the old person's survival kit", which includes The Hover-round, Life Alert, and my personal favorite, the Jitterbug, which is the "cell phone for seniors", and looks like a pre-school toy cell phone (complete with painted on numbers).

This week, the show is about a working vacation in Bora Bora, which was decided on after assistants Jessica and Tiffany used one of the tricks from that mega-selling phenomenon The Secret (and as such, Tiffany and Jessica are now dead to me).

The gang arrives in Bora Bora, where Kathy has to perform in two shows for what she thinks is an exclusively gay audience. First, they take time out for a little kayaking and snorkeling in the most dazzling blue water I've ever seen (I live next to Lake Ontario, and the only time the water is blue is when some evil corporation dumps barrels of old anti-freeze in it). Unfortunately, this scene also highlights tour manager Tom, who I'm sad to say is almost as pasty as I am.

Before the first show, Kathy decides to get to know the audience better, and that's when she makes a horrifying discovery ... the audience isn't entirely gay, it's actually forty percent ... straight. This sends her into a mild panic, until she realizes that there's more drama with the straight people than the gays.

There's a strange, very tall straight guy who's not sitting with his wife because "they don't get along", a couple who are divorced but still sleeping together, and then there's ... The Todd (who we'll get to later).

Kathy starts her show...and makes a huge faux pas.

Before she starts her stand-up, Kathy's opening act performs. She's a performance artist named India, and it's fairly clear that at one time in her life, she knew all there was to know about the crying game.

Kathy starts her act, and to say it doesn't go well is an understatement. In between sweating buckets, she makes some ill received jokes about the guests, and also tries out new material about "gaybies".

According to Kathy, gaybies are children who are adopted by gay couples, and apparently that's worth mocking. All of her gays, who were "going to circuit parties six months ago, are suddenly adopting kids. They're so full of sh*t ... you can't return them." Well, that garners a chilly reception, as well it should.

I love Kathy more than anyone, but I really think it's time she widens her gay circle, maybe that way it wouldn't come as such a shock to find out that not all gays have "hedonistic for life" bumper stickers.

Fellow comic Mario Cantone shows up, and the two of them bemoan the fact that some gay people actually want things like "marrriage" and "children", and how above all of that they are.

As you can tell, this isn't my favorite "Kathy" moment.

See if Kathy is able to redeem herself for the second performance, and meet "The Todd" after the break.

Out actors Mario Cantone and Cheyenne Jackson at the recent amfAR gala (Photo: Getty)

In a continued effort to bring you all that is important in the world of gay entertainment and ensure that you are being spoon-fed images of gorgeous, commoditized manflesh, we present the newly-minted AfterElton Briefs. Following the usual assortment of carefully-selected news items, interested readers can find a refreshing pic of a hot man in underwear after the jump. Yes, we're serious.

• Funny, when I think of John Barrowman making the "Music of the Night", it doesn't involve any masks, capes, or roses ... Barrowman rumored as lead in Phantom of the Opera stage sequel.

• I don't know about you, but I'd kill to see a Wham! movie. Heck, I saw Music and Lyrics because I thought it was the closest thing we'd ever get!

• Bad news for Dirt fans: It ain't coming back. Worse news for Dirt fans: You are Dirt fans. (Zing!)

• Does Top Chef daddy judge Tom Colicchio have a gay following? Um, does a bear flambe in the woods?. While we're on the topic, check out the adorable pic above of co-judge Ted Allen and his man, Barry Rice. Anyone else wondering if they play "Judges' Table" at home?

• Indiana Jones and the Insult of Doom: A video of hot young thing Shia LaBeouf — sorry, make that "drunk young thing" — goading a friend to slap him by calling him "faggot" has surfaced. Blech. Is it too late to kick him off the Hot 100?

And today's Briefs are brought to you by...

Michael Ausiello just confirmed what was sadly a long time coming: ABC's Men in Trees (which had a few barely-there gay characters played by out actor Mario Cantone and Orlando Jones) has been given the axe. The quirky, illegitimate lovechild of Northern Exposure and ... well, Northern Exposure ... may have been nothing terribly special, but it was sweet and occasionally rather amusing. Looks like its quiet charm was no match for constant reshuffling by the network.

Men in Trees (ABC) 10:00 PM EDT
Mario Cantone's Terri returns in tonight's episode. He's been seen only briefly in his last few appearances and, sadly, it sounds like tonight's episode isn't much better. Sigh, and I thought Terri had so much potential as a character. Hopefully, we'll at the least get plenty of scenes of Scott Elrod shirtless, though since his character, Cash, is facing a major operation in this episode, I suspect that won't be the case.

Biography (Biography Channel) 10:00 PM EDT
The career of irreverent and controversial comedienne Sarah Silverman is the focus of tonight's profile. While overall Silverman can be considered a gay ally, she's drawn her share of controversy from a variety of groups and it'll be interesting to see how those incidents are covered.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (CBS) 12:35 AM EDT
Craig is scheduled to talk with Project Runway winner Christian Siriano tonight. Am I just paying more attention or are we seeing Christian in more post-Runway appearances than previous winners?

Last Friday's Men in Trees saw Buzz's son George (Orlando Jones) return to the Alaskan town of Elmo. George's visit, it turns out, coincides with that of Mai's cousin, ice skating star Lucy Woo. George is in town scouting locations to open a new fat camp while Lucy comes to Elmo as the final stop on her ice skating tour. Meanwhile, George's brother Patrick is feeling pressured by his impending wedding and the duties expected out of the groom. One of those duties, finding a best man, is taken care of when George mistakes Patrick's grumbling as a roundabout way of asking George to fill the role.

George has a happy reunion with his boyfriend, Terri (Mario Cantone). However, Terri quickly cautions him against getting too close. "I hope you're not putting down Elmo roots for me," Terri cautions, "I'm just looking for a little fun. I'm not a commitment guy, I'm good on my own."

Meanwhile, Lucy expresses a longing for the kind of stable home and loving husband Mai has found in Elmo. Unfortunately, she can't choose to stick around in Elmo since her work visa expires as soon as her tour is over, prompting Mai to suggest that Lucy find herself a husband in Elmo. With ten men for every woman, Mai tells her cousin, a woman like Lucy will have her pick of green cards.

After hearing that Lucy's dates aren't successful, George proposes to her: "While you wait for Mr. Right, why not settle for Mr. Green Card." (I'm a little surprised ABC didn't include a disclaimer like past series dealing with sham marriages at this point.) Witnessing the proposal, Terri grimaces as everyone else celebrates.

Mario Cantone came onto The View to share his thoughts on The Emmy Awards and of course proceeded to do what he does best: overreact, scream and offend (and I mean that as a compliment, seriously). After ribbing the ladies for not giving him a full-time gig ("Thanks for the job, bitches!!"), Cantone launched into a litany of nit-picks about the broadcast, including the following:

• In discussing Joan Rivers' coverage of the Awards... from her living room sofa, on the Internet: "What is she gonna do, go door-to-door next year?! Ding-dong, 'Hi, it's me Joan! Did you see Aida Turturro-' SLAM! Ding-dong, 'Hi, it's me, Joan! Oh my God, The Sopranos-' SLAM!"
• In response to Robert Duvall's acceptance speech claims that all actors want to be in Western: "I'd be the first homosexual to star in a Western since Montgomery Clift," referring to Clift's role in Red River. He insisted, "John Wayne hated him in that movie, he was like "What is this homo doin' in a Western?!'"
• On Helen Mirren's comment that Americans are a lot of things, "some good, some bad": "Oh no you didn't! How would you like it, Helen, if I got up at the London Palladium and said, 'You British people have a lot of teeth ... some good, some bad.'?"

The View (ABC) Check local listings
Mario Cantone is scheduled to guest host today as Joan Rivers shows up to dish. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that we don't have to hear his story about the friend's daughter trying to play peek-a-boo under his glass coffee table. I know Barbara loves it, but I've heard it enough times.

Big Brother (CBS) 9:00 PM EDT
The drama is ramping up right now thanks to a bit of outside interference. Judging from what I'm hearing, there's reason to (finally) give Dustin some attention in tonight's episode, as he tries to keep his alliance (and his prospect of winning) from falling apart. It'll be interesting to see if the show's producers find his actions interesting enough to put on the show.

Without Prejudice? (GSN) 9:00 PM EDT
Tonight's episode includes a married gay man as one of the contestants with a gay man also on the panel that decides who will win the $25,000. I'm curious to find out how much more there is to learn about these two gay men, as this game show is all about unpeeling layers, even that of its panel.

Flipping Out (Bravo) 10:00 PM EDT
More house-flipping, hair-flipping and general flipping out in Bravo's newest reality offering. For a preview, just look down...