The 2009 Tony Awards Couldn't be Any Gayer if Liza was Named Mayor

"Please gaze upon my bosom and ignore the carcass splayed to my right"

The Gods of Broadway exacted a fitting (and gut-busting hilarious) revenge as Poison's number ended and they retreated into the back of the stage. Bret walked backward while waving to the crowd and turned around just in time to run headfirst into a giant "Broadway" sign being lowered from the rafters.

It's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, and unfortunately coincided with poor Stockard Channing's entrance.

I realize it may be heartless of me to laugh at someone's misfortune, but c'mon, it's not like Bret Michaels has never been passed out on a stage before.

Dolly Parton and ... Plaid Frankenstein?

The incomparable (and alert-looking) Dolly Parton performed the title song from 9 to 5, which led into Liza singing, well, does it matter what Liza sings anymore? She could walk onto the stage and sing the recipe for pineapple upside-down cake and still get a standing ovation.

Liza made way for the cast of Hair, and soon the stage is filled by Tony winners and nominees singing Let The Sunshine In. It's a great finish to a very entertaining opening number.