Eight Ways Nate Berkus Can Make His New Show Stand Out

After years of being Oprah Winfrey's go-to gay for home makeovers, Nate Berkus is ready to strike out on his own.

It really is a bittersweet story, reminiscent of the classic TV tearjerker Who Will Love My Children.

But Instead of Ann-Margret trying to find homes for her kids before she dies, it's Oprah trying to find timeslots for her protoges before she moves to her own network ... but the sentiment is exactly the same.

The Nate Berkus Show debuts today in syndication (check local listings) and promises more of what we've come to love about Nate: empathy, sincerity, and distracting hotness.

Because we want Nate to succeed in the very competitive daytime Thunderdome, we've come up with some helpful suggestions to get his show noticed. Some of them may seem a bit extreme, but daytime is ruthless (just ask Ellen, who's been known to cut a bitch), meaning Nate may have no choice but to think ... outside the box.

Eliminate the Competition

For years Oprah has played the mama bird, regurgitating into the mouths of baby birds Rachael Ray, Dr. Phil, and Dr. Oz until they were ready to fly the nest. (sadly, Gayle King tried to spread her wings too soon and became a sidewalk splat).

But with his older brothers (and sister) firmly entrenched in daytime, how can Nate compete with his siblings? Undermine them!

Start with the weekly segment "Why TV doctors are quacks," and present evidence why Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are not to be trusted. It shouldn't be too difficult. Maybe have guest star Jeffrey Tambor recreate some of Phil's more inept advice, and follow it up with "The Truth about Dr. Oz," an expose about the brain and heart transplants he botched at Emerald City General Hospital.

Nate should lead off sweeps with the special "Rachael Ray: Daytime Sweetheart or Harpy from Hell?" It will reveal shocking undercover footage of her screaming at cameramen, shoving an assistant's hand down on a hot burner, and devouring a 10-course meal in under 5 minutes.

After the American people witness the carnage and spectacle, they'll realize that Nate is the only Oprah spawn to be trusted!