Battle of the 90s Heartthrobs: "Lost"'s Jack Shephard vs "Falling Skies"' Tom Mason

When former ER star Noah Wyle got wind of Matthew Fox’s comeback with the cult adventure-drama, Lost, he pulled up his bootstraps and decided he, too, would try to board the 90’s heartthrob comeback train. The result is his new  TV series Falling Skies on TNT which debuted Sunday night.

Wyle’s thinking makes sense, and he was he even shrewd enough to jump aboard a train conducted by Steven Spielberg, the closest thing to a sure shot in Hollywood. Meanwhile, Fox was only able to muster Spielberg acolye J.J. Abrams to guide his comeback. But as you'll see, landing Spielberg seems to be Wyle's only advantage in the comeback game.

Let’s compare and contrast the two former idols and see who comes out on top in this battle of 90s Heartthrobs.

Battle, Round 1: Sexiness

Matthew Fox vs. Noah Wyle

With Lost, Fox did a wonderful job in bringing sexy back to our living rooms, sporting his rugged new look on his  equally rugged 6’2” frame. From his manly scruff to the torn clothes on his tan body, he won over a whole new generation of girls and gay/bi guys, and reminded the groupies from his Party of Five days what sexy was all about.

In Falling Skies, Wyle one-ups Matt by growing a full beard. I guess he missed the Maxim article that let men all over the planet know that the sexiest thing you can do is harvest yourself up some perma-stubble.

As you can see, while Wyle tries very hard to emulate Fox’s look, he tries just a little too hard. And everyone knows that trying too hard is not sexy. Being carelessly flawless IS sexy.

Advantage: Fox

At 6’1”, Wyle can barely hold a candle to Fox’s Adonis-like height of 6’2”. Then there’s his body type: pale and scrawny with poor posture. This may have worked for Wyle in the ER, but if you want to be a comeback heartthrob, you need to hit the gym. Yes, I'm talking to you, Noah.

Advantage: Fox

Being tan is hot for many folks, so to win this battle you need to hit the tanning bed at least five times a week. Or get a job filming in Hawaii. Plus, in Hawaii, you get lots of opportunity to swim in the Pacific, whereas living in post-apocalyptic New England makes it hard to stay clean. And lice are not sexy.

Advantage: Fox

Points:

Matthew = 3      Noah = -3

Battle, Round 2: Character job prior to “disaster”

Before his plane crashed on that fateful island, Fox’s Jack Shephard, was a talented if arrogant spinal surgeon. Before aliens invaded Earth, Noah’s Tom Mason was a history professor at BU. This is no contest. Honestly, who would you rather take home to mom?

Points:

Matthew = 10        Noah = 3

Battle, Round 3: Character Position in the Group

Jack was in charge of the survivors. Tom is in charge of his ... kids. Sort of.

Being a successful and stunningly handsome spinal surgeon, naturally everyone unanimously decides to follow Jack around the island. Plus, Jack knows how to fix every situation from broken body parts to broken hearts.

Wyle’s “new hero” status isn’t that much of a departure from his prior job, as he is still taking orders on how to lead his troops. But this time it isn't the university dean telling him what to do. Worse, the only people that willingly follow Wyle include his sons, who are obligated to because, hey, he is their dad. Not even his oldest son actually believes that his professor-turned-alien-fighter-dad can fight.

Then there is his son’s girlfriend, who is just following because she doesn’t want to be too far away from her beau what with the teenage hormones and the lack of cell phones which make sexting obsolete.

An Asian guy, who seems to like Wyle for reasons we don’t know yet, but he seems pretty smart otherwise. Plus, the token black guy, who is only there to complete the diverse group that is a trademark of almost every Spielberg production.

Points:

Matthew = 88     Noah = 2

Battle Round, 4: Disaster setting

Tropical Hawaii vs. decimated Boston

No contest. Fox gets to be an awesome, tan, smoke-monster-fighting, sensitive, healing-all-wounds doctor hero on a tropical island, while Noah fights aliens on the outskirts of a devastated Boston.

Points:

Matthew = 100    Noah = 6