Just What the Hell is Russell T Davies' "Cucumber" Going to be About Anyway?

Whatever else you might think of TV writer, creator and executive producer Russell T Davies, you have to acknowledge that not only has he been wildly successful (Doctor Who anyone?), but he's created an eclectic array of programming that defies easy categorization. From Bob and Rose to Queer as Folk to Torchwood, the UK writer has never been limited to a single genre or format.

Which brings us to Russell's new project, tentatively titled Cucumber which is in development at Showtime. Deadline.com reports there are few details known about the show, but notes that it is supposedly about gay men. Hmm, in that case pretty provocative title, eh?

Well, just because there are as of yet no details about the show doesn't mean we can't have some fun speculating on what it be about. Based on what we know about Davies and his past work, here are seven ideas that just might be the basis for Cucumber.

Cucumber: CSI — A wisecracking cucumber leads an all gay detective force as it solves crimes in the gritty environs of Iowa City.

Eat, Pray, Cucumber — An evangelical Christian leaves his small southern town in hopes of becoming a big city chef. The only job he can find is cooking up appetizers at a Cheers-style gay bar called "Cucumber" where everyone knows you're gay. And pretty everything else about your private life.

Cucumber: Alien Invasion — This is actually a Torchwood spin-off that has Captain Jack reforming Torchwood to battle an alien invasion made up of creatures that look like, you guessed it, cucumbers. But this time around the Torchwood team consists entirely of Ianto clones that Jack can have sex with whenever he wants. That way it doesn't matter when get ones killed doing something really, really dumb.

Hung Like a Cucumber — In attempt to cash in on HBO's Hung, Showtime introduces Hung Like a Cucumber which follows a gay porn star who is trying to go legit after ten years in the business. His partner, best friend and over-involved dad all support him as he goes for his big break. But will he have to rely on old tricks to get ahead?

How Green is My Cucumber? — Hearkening back to an earlier, kinder America Showtime horns in on TVLand's retro turf in this gentle comedy about Burt and Joaquin, a gay couple who move to rural Indiana to raise heritage cucumbers to sell at farmer's markets. Alas, Joaquin is really a Chelsea Boy at heart and just doesn't belong in the country. Can they make it work?

Bad News Cucumbers — Gay couple Peter and John decide to coach The Cucumbers, a little league baseball team sponsored by the local pickle company. Peter was a collegiate all-star, John has never worn a mitt in his life. Peter wants to use their meager budget to buy a pitching machine, John wants to use it to buy designer uniforms. It'd be like if Cam and Mitch coached the Mighty Ducks.