Bravo's "Most Eligible Dallas" Should be Renamed "Most Self-Absorbed Dallas"

Could a reality series like, say, Bravo's Housewives franchise or Logo's The A-List last if at least half the cast wasn't made up of self-absorbed twits? Might viewers actually tune in to watch a group of relatively decent people who are not obsessed with money, looks and fashion? Would we care about their actual lives and be able get drawn into a show without fake conflicts created for the sake of ratings?

It's an interesting question, but one that we'll have to wait to have answered because Bravo's new "docuseries" Most Eligible Dallas is very much about a group of self-absorbed "friends" who are supposedly the crème de la crème of Dallas, and who prattle on endlessly about being beautiful and successful, at least when they aren't lashing out at their supposed friends or acting out in ways actual grownups rarely do.

So is there any good news about MED? Well, at least it's no High Society, the failed CW reality show which set the low water mark for reality programming built on the idea that the rest of us give a flying fig about the supposedly "beautiful" people of New York, Miami and elsewhere. 

Of course, saying Most Eligible Dallas is better than High Society is setting the bar rather low. It's like saying stepping in dog crap is better than actually sitting in it. 

This is hardly Bravo's first foray into the genre of what one writer called "terrible people" programming. In addition to the endless Housewives spinoffs, the network tried an early incarnation of MED called Miami Social that was pretty much horrifying on every level. It, too, revolved around a group of supposed friends as they cavorted around a chic locale, that time Florida's South Beach. That series lasted for six episodes and except for having Texas twangs and bigger hair, there isn't much difference between Most Eligible Dallas and MS, so there isn't much reason to think it will last longer. Or so a reviewer can hope.

In case you are interested in shows like this, here is a rundown of the cast, as well as some of what they have to say during the first episode that makes them so noxious.

Matt Nordgren

Given how prominently Nordgren is featured, I gather Bravo figures this 29-year-old former college quarterback is their potential break-out star. And, yeah, he's pretty enough to look at, but he's awfully full of himself. Says Nordgren during the first episode:

I consider myself the total package for sure. ... Everything in my life, I've been groomed to be a great man. ... If you want to hate on me for being a single and 28 ... Fine. Do it.

Oh, that's not why we want to hate on you, Matt. Trust me.

Courtney Kerr

This 29-year-old "fashionista" seems to be on the show mostly because she's apparently in love with Nordgren, but won't admit it. Or at least that's the impression we get after she spends the first half of the show interviewing how she would never, ever date Nordgren and that they are like brother and sister (they sure bicker like they are). Then in the second half of the episode, she proceeds to flip out when Nordgren starts dating a 23-year-old. Says the rather clueless Kerr about herself:

I'm a slave to vanity. I'm like a Texas starlet: big hair, big jewelry, big attitude.

And might I just add, "big bore."

Drew Ginsburg

As with Miami Social, MED gets points for being gay-inclusive. And also like MS, the gay guy here is less than ... inspiring. Actually, the inclusion of 29-year-old Ginsburg, who runs the family business selling high-end cars, troubles me as I'm not sure he's ready for the harsh exposure a show like this comes with. He frequently comes across as wounded from his experiences growing up gay and overweight (he used to weigh 425 pounds) and says things likely to make much of the gay community cringe. For example:

I'm not your stereotypical gay man. Gasoline runs in my veins. To me there is nothing more exciting than hearing the roar of that engine. ... I live in one of the most expensive, prestigious addresses in uptown Dallas. I've got a view that's a panty dropper. When I need something, I just press a button. ... People look at me and say "How the f*ck are you gay? You sell cars! I don't know. I've broken the mother-f*cking mold all my life.

Uh, yeah. I don't think Ginsburg has met enough gay people.