"Dancing With The Stars" Tries To Jump Shark, is Eaten, Regurgitated

Like a bad rash in the shape of Jesus, ABC's Dancing With the Stars is a painful experience that is worshiped by millions. Season 13 will premiere on Monday, September 19th at 8:00 PM ET, and we have the first look at the new cast.

The most noteworthy inclusion is Chaz Bono, and it'll be interesting to see how far he can go, and very interesting to see who he's paired with.

Carson Kressley is another dancer of note, and another question mark when it comes to his dancing partner. When Lance Bass appeared on the show he was paired with a woman for reasons the network said had to do with strictly following the rules of competitive ballroom dancing. Yes, the show that has featured folks like Bristol Palin, Tucker Carlson and Jerry Springer said that with a straight face.

The trainwreck dancer this season will hopefully be CNN star Nancy Grace, who I'm sure will somehow be able to work the words "tot mom" into the conversation.

The rest are a mixture of well knowns, unknowns, and who the f**k cares.

Let's take a look at the cast. Who is your pick this season?

Chaz Bono

Chynna Phillips

Carson Kressley

David Arquette

Elisabetta Canalis