"Allen Gregory" Review: This Show Is Horrible

The latest entry in Fox's Animation Domination block, Allen Gregory, opens at a party hosted by Richard DeLongpre and his life partner Jeremy. After introducing and disrespecting their adopted Cambodian daughter Julie (having adopted her to save her from “being turned into glue”) they turn their attention to their 7-year-old son, Allen Gregory, to celebrate his Tony nomination.

Allen makes a pretentious speech (he makes so many, reviewers/recappers should make that phrase a macro) and then Richard and Jeremy call him out on the balcony. They tell him they have some news, which Allen Gregory guesses is “Jeremy has AIDS? Full-blownsies?”

Delightful.

No, the announcement is that Jeremy is going to be re-entering the workforce and will no longer be able to home-school him. Allen Gregory will have to start attending public school. Also? The Tony nomination is a lie.

The next day Allen Gregory attends his first day of school. Julie already attends public school, which is our second indication that her parents do not value or respect her. She has a couple of girl friends who interpret having their books dumped by a school bully as a sign of affection.

I thought that one went out with Krazy Kat.

Allen Gregory's teacher is Mrs. Winthrop, whom Allen Gregory patronizes by using her first name (Gina) and telling her that he is on equal authoritative footing with her.

At lunch, Allen Gregory meets socially outcast student Patrick and gets on the wrong side of popular kid Joel Zadak and his friends. He unpacks some sushi from his lunch box and pours himself a glass of wine. This gets him sent to the principal's office, where the 7-year-old immediately falls in love with the 60-something Principal Gottlieb. He sexually harasses her for a while and, after she loses her temper with him, Allen Gregory messes his pants. He runs crying from the school in sight of Joel and company.

Back at home there's some really inappropriate sexual talk between Richard and Jeremy in front of their daughter when Allen Gregory comes home, still crying. And I guess there's a scene between Allen Gregory and his parents and then Allen Gregory and his sister, but I could not get past the knowledge that Allen Gregory was sitting there with his pants full of feces.

The DeLongpres meet with Principal Gottlieb and the superintendent of the school board. He kisses the DeLongpres' asses in hopes of securing a donation from the wealthy homosexual couple, going so far as to encourage the elderly principal to date their 7-year-old son.

Charming.

Back at home, Allen Gregory has finally changed out of his soiled clothes and is exercising in the gym. After a pointless scene between Allen Gregory and, apparently, their full-time gym attendant, Allen Gregory tells his parents he isn't returning to school. Jeremy tells Allen Gregory the story of how he met Richard. It was five years ago and Jeremy was straight and married with two children. He met Richard as a potential client and Richard began a campaign to convince Jeremy that they were destined to be together.

Jeremy pointedly does not say that he believes they were destined to be together, but notes that Richard didn't let any of the obstacles, “Me being straight as an arrow, my wife and kids, the restraining orders, they were irrelevant. In the end he got what he wanted.” Jeremy advises Allen Gregory that if he wants the kids at school to accept him, he has to convince them that they want it too. Which is actually pretty good advice. Even Allen Gregory recognizes that, breaking his unending stream of verbal abuse of Jeremy to genuinely thank him.

Allen Gregory roams the streets of New York City at night unsupervised and breaks Patrick's window that night and climbs in. After making a pretentious speech and announcing that he's returning to school, he climbs back out, leaving Patrick to deal with the consequences of the broken window. At school the next day, the school board superintendent says it was he who ran weeping from the school with a load in his pants and the idiot children buy it. Allen Gregory resumes his campaign of sexual harassment against his principal.

The voice cast of Allen Gregory... Probably lucky they haven't
also lent their faces to this animated misadventure.

Ugh. What a terrible show. Allen Gregory is described by the show's creators as “precocious”. A more appropriate word would be “obnoxious”.

They also said he was being raised by two gay fathers. He's not; he's being raised by one gay sexual predator and his victim. Every female character is belittled. The only decent parent, Jeremy, is belittled. Bullying and sexual predation are played as good clean fun. And if you're going to make an AIDS joke, then by God it had better be a funny AIDS joke. I'm being paid to watch Allen Gregory. What's your excuse?