Photo Gallery: The Golden Globes from the Gay Nosebleed Seats

Ricky Gervais hosts/terrorizes the 68th Annual Golden Globes Awards
(all photos Getty Images)

About a third of the way into last night's Golden Globe Awards, presenter Robert Downey Jr. had this to say: "Aside from the fact that it's been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones, I just wanna say the vibe of the show is pretty good so far, wouldn't you?"

Boy, did he hit the nail on the head! The mean-spirited and mildly sinister undertones were all coming from Ricky Gervais, who really seemed to be a bully as he mercilessly abused really obvious targets all night: Charlie Sheen, how crappy The Tourist was, Tim Allen's thin resume, all the airbrushing required for the ladies of Sex and the City 2. "Girls, we know how old you are! I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza!"

Gervais also referred to a mini-scandal where voting members of the Hollywood Foreign Press were taken to see Cher in concert. "How the hell is that a bribe? Really? Do you wanna go see Cher? 'No!' Why not? 'Because it's not 1975!'"

That's when he really lost me. Nobody picks on Cher!

Probably the biggest crowd reaction — not laughs so much as shock — was when Gervais had this to say about I Love You Philip Morris: "Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists then."

Ouch!

Gervais' bullying aside, the evening had your typical awards show problems: some really boring run-on speeches, presenter jokes that fell a bit flat. But it also had some really sweet moments. Chris Colfer's win was of course a highlight, as was Jane Lynch's — and both Matt Damon as presenter and Robert DeNiro as recipient did a wonderful job with the Cecile B. DeMille Award. I mean, compare DeNiro's lucid and hilarious acceptance speech to others of recent years (e.g. Barbra Streisand (2000), Warren Beatty (2007)). His was neither self-centered nor rambling,

The pages that follow include Full List of Nomineees and Winners, Red Carpet Photos, and Photos from the Actual Ceremony, but before we get to that stuff, I've got a few awards of my own to give out:

Worst Celebrity Acceptance Speech (excluding foreign producers): Christian Bale

Best Looking Female Celebrity: Halle Berry

Best Looking Male Celebrity: (tie) Matthew Bomer and Matthew Morrison

Worst Styling: (tie) Helen Bonham Carter and Sandra Bullock (America's Sweetheart needs a trim!)

Next page! Highlight Photos from the Show.