"Hawaii Five-0" Bromance Matrix: Yo Ho Ho, and Some Mad Jealousy

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on October 11, 2011

I'm not sure what it is, exactly, that Hawaii Five-0 is doing this season. Alienating Kono further and further from the team while letting Lori White get chummier and chummier with them? Do not like.

More and more and more Joe White? Do not like.

I understand the need to have some series-long narrative arcs to go along with the mystery-a-week shenanigans, but I don't love the way it's relegating Grace Park to pretty much cameo status every week. However, this week's murder was a doozy (everyone loves a pirate story!), and, as always, we've got our bromance!

1) Me & My Jealousy — When Danny and Steve discover a stash of pirate gold in their victim's apartment, they take the loot to the Bernice Pauahi Bishop Museum, where Danny finds himself immediately smitten with the curator. Steve's body language is all grumpy and closed off. Add that to his exasperated facial expression and the fact that he literally says, "What is going on with you?" and the only conclusion I can come to is that it makes him crazy to see his partner flirting with someone else.

2) Cargument! — Don't believe me? Witness this conversation in the car immediately following Danno's flirting:

Danny: [I just gave her] one coin. Why are you losing your mind?
Steve: I'm not losing my mind. If you want to ask her out, just ask her out.
Danny: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said anything about asking her out?
Steve: Come on, you left her a coin so you'd have a reason to go back and ask her out. It's fine. [Looks out window broodily]
Danny: That's not true! I left her a coin so she can help with our investigation!
Steve: Really?

Steve says Danny needs professional help. Danny says he doesn't need professional help 'cause his boyfriend is so sensitive and understanding he's got Steve.

3) Self-deprecating charm — If your partner is feeling a little insecure about your relationship, what's the best way to reassure him he's the big, strong man you need in your life? A little hyperbolic belittling of yourself. When Five-0 finds out that their victim's boat is still at sea and not moving, Danny smiles sweetly at Steve and says, "Even I know what that means." Translation: You're much smarter than me and I can't live without you.

4) Bonus beefcake — This week's McDanno bromance was sweet, but it wasn't beefy. We should make up for that with a little bonus beefcake, right? Right!