"Project Runway" SnapCap: "Here's 10 Bucks For Your Swear Jar. Now F**k Off!"

Things are tense for the Batman and Robin of design.

Starting this week we're kicking off a new, shorter kind of recap for some shows. We're calling it a SnapCap, and it's designed to give you our quick take on what went down on some of our favorite shows as soon as possible after they've aired. We've even created a graphic scale to illustrate just how we'd rate an episode based on five different aspects.

Some things like Beefcake, Heart, and Challenges are pretty self-explanatory. AfterElton Bait will tell you how gay a particular episode was and, since this SnapCap is for a reality show, we're including a Trainwreck Quotient because, well, reality shows are so often giant trainwrecks. Isn't that why people really watch?

Here's how I'd rate last night's episode of Project Runway:

BEEFCAKE: None to speak of in this episode, unless you count Joshua's furious chest hair peeking out. It bristles when he bristles.

This is definitely Josh's Very Special Episode

HEART: We learn more about Josh's pain. We knew that his mother died two years ago, but he goes in to more detail on this episode. He wasn't able to see his mother before she died because he was in New York pursuing his dream, and the guilt is obviously eating at him. He calls his dad, who basically tells him, "There's no crying in fashion!" and that he should buck up and press on. I have a feeling Josh's dad is used to tearful phone calls. The background info does help to put Josh's asshat-ism into perspective, but you can only use personal heartbreak to excuse bad behavior for so long before it wears out and then ... you're just a prick.

AFTERELTON BAIT: I'm shocked there are still five members of Team Gay (Josh, Anthony, Bryce, Viktor, Bert) left. They now outnumber the straight designers, which can only mean one thing: The gays are going to start dropping like flies in the next few weeks.

CHALLENGES: You could hear a collective, "Crap!" from the designers when Heidi announced that they would be split into two teams of five for the next challenge, but you could also hear one giddy, "Yes!" Oh wait, that was from me. My sweetie pie Anthony won the challenge last week, so he gets to pick the first team, but Heidi stresses that there will be no team leaders. Joshua is chosen to pick the second team, and he immediately asks, "Does this mean I'm team leader?" *sigh* Anthony's team is Anya, Bryce, Viktor and Olivier, while Josh has Becky, Laura, Kimberly, and Bert. I felt badly for last-picked Bert because it brought back horrific memories of being picked last for kickball ... at my birthday party. By my mom.

The week's challenge is to, "Design fabrics, create a collection and produce a fashion show," and unfortunately it turns out to be one of the most boring and confused challenges ever. It doesn't help that Joshua and Bert immediately butt heads, leading to ...

TRAINWRECK QUOTIENT: Joshua's head is about to explode because he can't refer to himself as team leader, but tries to play the role anyway, and when Bert's (admittedly awful) idea of adding some kind of pocket watch design isn't included in the collection, Bert sulks off muttering, "So much for my f**king clocks."

Joshua goes off the deep end, talking about "Dirty Mouths," and how he can't take people swearing, and when Bert tries to approach him, warns him off, saying "Don't get close to me!" It was a fantastic hot mess, and reminded me of the anecdote in Hollywood Babylon about Loretta Young, who had a swear jar on the set of her TV show, and made anyone who swore deposit money into it. One of her guest stars got so fed up with her waving the jar around, he finally pulled out his wallet and barked, "Here's ten bucks, Loretta. Now f**k off!"

I'm praying we'll see a Joshua swear jar soon.

As expected, the second team loses, and the judges have finally had enough of Becky and send her packing, with Joshua narrowly missing elimination (But not really. He's drama gold, so he's staying a while).

Anya is the surprise winner this week. After the judges fawned all over Olivier's tailored top, I expected him to take the crown.

So what did you think? Did Anya deserve it, or was Olivier's top worthy of the win? You can see all of the designs next, and decide for yourself.