"Project Runway" Snapcap: "Those Boobs To Me Are Trouble!"

In last week's Project Runway SnapCap, I wrote, "I'm shocked there are still five members of Team Gay (Josh, Anthony, Bryce, Viktor, Bert) left. They now outnumber the straight designers, which can only mean one thing: The gays are going to start dropping like flies in the next few weeks."

And unfortunately, one of Team Gay did end this week's episode in the web screaming "Help me! Help Me!" as Tim Gunn's razor mandibles and poison sac approached to finish him off.

But before that happened, we had to endure some boorish behavior from the usual subjects.

BEEFCAKE: Again, none to speak of. If they're going to make us put up with Joshua, they could at least put him in a leopard print thong (c'mon, you just know he owns one).

Don't worry Bryce, you'll get to see your boyfriend soon ... very soon.

HEART: It was Bryce's turn to have a big emotional breakdown, and it happened when he saw all of the happy couples from this week's challenge and started missing his boyfriend. Oh, and because he made a hideous Pepto-Bismol dress and knew he was up the creek.

AFTERELTON BAIT: After tonight, there are four Team Gay members left, plus 3 women ... and Olivier.

CHALLENGES: The designers have a collective hissy fit when nine men walk out, and they think they're going to have to design for them. "We don't do menswear," is the group shout, followed by a murmuring of, "especially guys with ... challenging waistlines."

Yes, the utter horror at possibly designing for overweight people shows on their faces, especially for Olivier, who's just obliviously ghastly in this episode. As the designers are paired up with the guys, Olivier laments, "The more people start to go, the less choice I have, and in the end, we're left with all these fat people. And fat is fine, but not when I'm making clothes."

Phew! Thank God for that qualifier at the end, or he'd seem like an asshat.

The designers are relieved, however, when they discover that the actual challenge isn't to design for the guys, but to design for the guys' wives and girlfriends.

"Yay! We don't have to design for big fat people!"

Olivier has an even bigger problem later when it's revealed that his client's wife has (shudder) large breasts (shudder). "I don't like woman having boobs. I just like them to be flat. Like when I come at them from designs, I think it distracts from the whole line, so it's a challenge for me to work with big boobs. Those boobs to me are trouble."

How desperate is Olivier for boob advice? He asks Tim about bra sizes.

So the designers show their wares, and the winner is ... Joshua. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say, "@#$%!" Something has been bugging me about Joshua for a while now, and I think I've finally figured it out (well, beside his general unpleasantness). He insists on speaking with a ... halting ... line ... delivery, as if he was trying to push out the words while simultaneously trying to push out a fart.

Frankly, I didn't find any of the designs particularly inspiring, but the judges (including guest judge, and terrible, terrible, actress Malin Akerman) single out Bryce's sad pink thing for execution. But ... it had pockets!

Bryce is sent packing, but he takes it in stride.

TRAINWRECK QUOTIENT: Olivier's abject boob terror was hilarious, but not enough to send the Trainwreck Quotient out of the mid-range. But with Joshua winning, his caboose may he headed for a rude fall soon.

So what did you think? Did Joshua deserve it (he's won two challenges now, a fact you're destined to hear from him many, many, times), and did Bryce deserve to go home? You can see all of the designs next, and decide for yourself.