"Revenge" Episode 107: "I'm About A Three On The Kinsey Scale Myself"

"An uncomfortable family dinner. Why does this seem so ... familiar?"

This week's episode of Reven8e promised a gamechanger ... but who knew it would be a gaymechanger!

Okay, that was terrible, but this was a pivotal episode, as we learned more about Emily's past, and witnessed the formation of the Ambiguously Gay Duo V.2

This episode revolves around the 25th Wedding Anniversary of Conrad and Victoria, and it gets off to to a cringe-worthy start when the camera pans onto a closeup of Madeleine Stowe's face, and a voiceover from Emily intones "As Hamlet said to Ophelia, "God has given you one face, and you give yourself another.'" Ouch!

Frank is still hovering around, and when Emily comes home, she finds him inside, where he threatens he's going to find out exactly what she's hiding, even if it kills him. He tracks her backstory to the juvie jail she was sent to, and tries to pry some info from the warden. Fortunately, Emily has already contacted the warden, who promises to keep all of her secrets ... for now, and when Frank questions her, she insists that Emily was a model offender, and it's because of her generosity that the prison was able to afford a library.

Naturally, Frank breaks into her office later, and steals the records of the real Emily, and leaves in pursuit of some answers.

"Warehouse? I don't know what you're talking about."

Frank finds the real Emily, who's working as a pole stripper, and we learn that she's taken on the identity of Amanda Clarke, and all of the press hassles that come with it. So Emily is really Amanda, and Amanda is really Emily, and obviously Emily has paid off Amanda. I mean Amanda has paid off Emily. No wait, Emily as Amanda paid off Amanda as Emily, or ... Emily ... oh f**k it.

She asks Frank to meet her in the parking lot, and just as Frank is calling Victoria and says, "You were right, Emily Thorne is not who she says she is," stripper girl hits him on the head with a crowbar, and when he stars to come around, she delivers a presumably (but who knows) fatal blow.

Later, stripper girl shows up at Emi ... the other girl's house, and tells her, "Someone named Frank knows we switched names, but I took care of him."

Meanwhile, Declan (who I want to like because Connor Paolo is adorable) is Charlotte's plus one at the anniversary dinner, but is uncomfortable the whole time (and suffered a slight aneurysm because the many forks confounded him), and makes an actual scene (because poor, gritty, regular people always do that at society functions), and storms out. I wasn't paying close attention to him after that, but I think he died.

Before he storms out, Declan rats out Emily for leading his brother on, and tells Daniel that she brought Jack a gift. Daniel is pissed, but Emily explains that it was only a beautiful antique golden compass that Jack would treasure forever, bit it meant nothing, really!

Realizing that Daniel might be slipping away, Emily ups the ante and declares her love for him.

Conrad and Victoria have a hot blowout, and when he brings up the fact that she never looked at him the way she looked at David Clark, she agrees, and then tells him to get out. He does, and heads over to to the hospital to keel vigil by Lydia's bedside.

As luck would have it, he's sitting next to her when she opens her eyes, looks over, and says his name. So does this mean she's going to out Emily? Call me crazy, but I have a feeling the classic "temporary amnesia" plot is going to take over.

AfterElton Bait

After Frank almost shot off his kneecaps last week, Nolan is skittish about continuing to help Emily (and even hires a colossal bodyguard), but is convinced to to stay on sidekick duty when Emily offers him his first solo assignment. She's had it up to here with that nuisance Tyler, and wants Nolan to dig up some dirt.

After rooting around, Nolan unearths a tasty truffle, and orders Tyler to meet him at his house to ... negotiate. What happens next is hilarious:

Well, now we know that Tyler is willing to do anything ... and anyone, to claw his way back to high society. But we kind of knew that already. What this clip really accomplishes is that it sheds a little light on the Nolan enigma. If he was a three on the Kinsey scale, he may have just nudged up a notch. A couple of weeks ago it was announced that there would be a Tyler/Ashley/Nolan triangle, and this definitely opens up the possibilities of what that means.

Unfortunately, I did have to roll my eyes and sigh when the show decided to cut away just before Nolan and Tyler locked lips. It was blatant and precise editing. Seriously? What is this, As The World Turns? I expect more from the network that gave us Kevin and Scotty.

Beefcake

We finally got a partial glimpse of what Nolan has been hiding under those designer thrift shop duds. And some grainy footage of his ace in the hole. Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm referring to his Tyler just-in-case blackmail footage.

Victoria-isms

Reporter: "What's the one thing that's bonded you two forever?"
Victoria: "The birth of our son Daniel .......... oh, and Charlotte, of course."

Conrad: "I thought you didn't believe in luck."
Victoria: "I don't believe in good luck."

Conrad: "For the record, I've never loved any woman the way I loved you."
Victoria: "Just my luck."

Victoria: "Our wedding invitation. How nice."
Emily.: "I tracked down the printer who made the original and had one made for you."
Victoria: "How extraordinarily crafty of you."

Declan: "As long as we're giving gifts, happy anniversary, Mrs. G."
Victoria: Stunned stare
Declan: "I'm Declan. Charlotte invited me."
Victoria: "She did, did she? Aah, a roset. How ... lovely"

Declan: "You wouldn't want your food to get cold. I'm sure you slaved all day in the kitchen."
Victoria: "You're funny." (sinister giggle)

Victoria: "We're drowning in lies, all of us! Not even our children can escape the wreckage from this ... arrangement!."
Conrad: "Arrangement? You mean our marriage?"
Victoria: "This isn't a marriage, and I'm not sure it ever was! "
Conrad: "Clearly not for you, ever. I remember the way you used to look at David Clark. You have never looked at me like that. Not before, and certainly not after."
Victoria: "You have never given me a reason to! "
Conrad: "Well perhaps I should count myself as lucky. I mean, look what happened to him."
Victoria: "GET OUT! "
Conrad: "With pleasure."

What did you think of this week's episode?