"America's Next Top Model: All-Stars" Recap: Goddess and the Shes

I cannot believe the day is finally here and we can escape from this atrocious cycle of America's Next Top Model: All Stars. The final three are about as different as can be and at this point I'm really not sure who will win or who I ultimately even want to win. Allison is obviously my favorite model thanks to her ability to take great pictures in almost every situation and her personality not making me want to punch her in the face. I might not want Allison to win though because I would worry it would hold her back from being a bigger, more successful model. Lisa still gets on my nerves when she trash talks or makes things uncomfortable. But I've got to hand it to her — she's been taking great pictures this season, has stepped up to the plate on every challenge and would fit in well on the set of my least favorite show of all time: Extra.

We all know how I feel about Angelea and the fact that she's made it this far with her crappy attitude and even worse performance just proves how much of a sham this season was from the get-go. For once I wish she would realize that she wasn't an underdog because of where she came from, but because of how she represented herself. There's no polishing that turd.

Speaking of turds, I really hope we don't have to watch Tyra sucking on Tyson Beckford's thumb again.

The remaining girls are so excited about being in the top three, Angelea and Lisa forget how much they hate each other.

Was I asleep when Lisa told us about being physically and emotionally abused as a child? She says that if she wins, this will not only boost her music career but it will also be a great platform to tell people about her charity. Good for her! She says she now thinks Angelea is her biggest competition because it's obvious she wants it really badly. Well, that and it's obvious that Tyra wants her there for some reason.

When TYRAmail comes, Angelea has a really smart moment and is able to figure out the three lines of Greek mean, "Easy. Breezy. Beautiful." It's time for the classic Cover Girl commercial in a foreign language challenge!

The following day, the remaining three meet up with Jay Manuel at a gorgeous outdoor restaurant patio. They'll be photographed by the same guy that turned them into salad toppers for a print campaign. They also need to memorize as much of their lines as possible for the commercial shoot.

Now that we're at the very end of the cycle, Angelea will admit that Lisa has the qualities of an All Star and is her biggest competition. Lisa sits for her print ads and impresses everyone, including me, with the way she's able to take direction and immediately turn it into great pictures.

Lisa's commercial shoot close-up on the eyes actually convinced me that it might be fun to try eyeshadow. Can any of my gays out there give me some tips? Because this lez only knows how to use an eyeliner pencil.

When it came down to the speaking parts of the commercial, things got a little awkward, but she pulled it off in the end.