"90210" Episode 401 Recap: The Naked Cowboy ... But Without the Singing

Regular readers of my 90210 recaps probably recall that at the end of of the second to last episode of Season 3, I stamped my foot up and down and declared that I was "Done! Done with 90210!" due to their shabby treatment of Teddy Montgomery (Trevor Donovan) and that there wouldn't be anymore 90210 recaps.

And I meant it too. Until this happened at the CBS party at the Television Critics Association press tour in July:

Well, what would you say? Actually, Trevor is one of the nicest actors I've had the pleasure of dealing with in Hollywood, so it was pretty easy to say "yes" even though it means actually watching five more episodes of 9021Zero.

BTW, I did a little investigating as to why The CW cut down Teddy's storyline so drastically. Here is the top secret info I uncovered.

Explains a lot, no? It also explains Teddy's upcoming storyline, which makes about as much sense as anything else they've had him do.

So last season we left off with everyone hating the Very Annoying Adrianna because she blah blah blah, and Surfer Girl married Raj even though he's blah blah blah, and Max cheated on a test for Namaste Naomi blah blah blah, and Naomi is pregnant blah blah blah and there is something going on with Beefcake Liam and Annie , but I'd rather stab myself in the ear the find out what.

You really want me to do this, Trevor? You're sure? Okay, but you owe me, dude!

So this episode is called "Up in Smoke" but that only sounds like it's some kind of wish fulfillment for us Teddy fans. Instead, it's fall and the gang from West Beverly High is headed off to college. Oh, and apparently Teddy is struggling to come out to his family.

Hey, let's make a prediction about Teddy's storyline this episode!

I bet that about four minutes in Teddy will come out to his dad in a 45 second scene that has hid dad shocked and angry and saying "You can't be gay! You're nothing like Kurt on Glee! Or even Blaine! Although Blaine is dreamy..."

About 14 minutes into the episode, Teddy's dad will be trying to set up an appointment for Teddy to go through Michelle Bachmann's husband's conversion therapy, but at the 29 minute mark the barista at the Beverly Hill's Starbucks will tell Teddy's dad how his own father rejected him for being gay causing him to sink so low as to work as an extra on a show on The CW. Horrified by this fate, Teddy's dad will reconsider, and during the closing credits we'll see him asking Teddy to march in next year's Gay Pride in West Hollywood. Plus, he'll have bought Teddy a pair of leather chaps since that's what all the gays wear.

Total screentime: 2:45. Anyone want to take my bet?

BTW, in case you think the show has nothing to offer in lieu of Teddy, the last episode did introduce a new love interest played by Justin Deeley for one of the female characters who I neither remember nor care about because she isn't Sterling Silver. But when the underwear line that Deeley used to model for sent me a whole slew of pics of him posing, I figured I could at least post a few of them to keep us entertained, since there probably won't be a whole lot of Teddy.

Speaking of which, Hey, Trevor! Who is that behind you? Quick look!

Okay, before Trevor turns back around here are the pics of Deeley. I just don't want Trevor thinking we're cheating on him with another underwear model.

Do I have any acting credits? Does it really matter when I can do this. And this. And this!

Oh, hey, Trevor. Nevermind. I guess it was just a bird. You can look back over here now.

I know, I know! Where is the #(@*)*#$ recap already!