"90210" Recap: The Art of Leaving

Hey folks! Welcome to the last and final installment of Adventures in Teddyverse, the last chapter in life of Teddy Montgomery, the gay guy of 90210.

Before we proceed any further, here’s a brief refresher of whatever happened in Teddyverse this season. Teddy came out to his father over a voicemail, then he re-met his old flame Shane from Barcelona, got fake married to him in Vegas, then broke up with him over leaked wedding videos (Kim Kardashian is planning to sue him for making a mockery of the institution of marriage), then found out it was his best buddy Silver who had accidentally leaked the videos, not Shane, and broke up with her.

Whew!

Now we can proceed.

Silver and her girl gang, Ivy and Annie, are moping around in a closed dark room, eating Rocky Road ice-cream (yum… my 2nd faovrite). Enter Naomi, who brightens the room (no pun intended), tells them “to stop eating metaphors” and get to work.

Nothing clears your mind better than a bossy friend.

And she comes bearing news. Naomi, it seems, has taken a page out of the other Kardashian sisters and decided to become a fashion designer. And she has to put on a fashion show.

In Un-Li-verse, the last time we met Liam (and that dud of a Thanksgiving episode doesn’t count) he broke his leg joyracing with Teddy, after being forewarned that his modelling contract does not allow it. Since he violated the terms of his agreement and destroyed the ad-campaign, he is liable to pay them 200Gs, failing which his cougar agent Sheila (Dina Meyer) owns him.

Of course, the first thing she does, is have him play Vampire on the Beach at some spoilt brat’s birthday party. The kid's father, a hot shot client, claims his daughter loves Vampire Dairies and Liam.

However, this “Vampire” looks nothing like either Damon or Stephan and exactly like Edward Sullen from Vampire’s Suck. Maybe the father got his Vampires mixed-up.

In Teddyverse, which at the moment happens to be Liam’s bar, Teddy is getting his drunk on, when a group passes by whistling “Here Comes the Bride” at him. Funny.

Silver joins him and again apologizes for screwing things up, admitting it was a horrible mistake.

However Teddy retorts, “It was a mistake that not only humiliated me and ruined my uncle’s campaign, but turned my entire family against me”. In short, Teddy has no intention of forgiving her. The only reason he agreed to meet her, is because he needs closure with his ex-BFF because he is moving to London.

There. You have it. Farewell Teddy. Hope to see you, never.

Uh… Wait!

That’s not all… we still have miles to go before we sleep. So, read on!