"American Horror Story" Recap 1.09: Dahlia'll Never Go Away Again

After an intense and disturbing episode last week - let's call it Tate Misbehavin'! - American Horror Story dialed down the intensity last night and instead delivered a soapy tale steeped in Hollywood nostalgia, supernatural terror and high camp.

I of course mean this as the highest form of compliment.

So throw on your best fishnet stockings and fascinator and let's cut this baby apart, shall we? Oh - sorry, Thaddeus, no offense.

On a sunny California day, an old-timey cab pulls up in front of the Murder House. A lady in killer hooker pumps gets out and struts up the walk, passing a woman dragging along a boy in what looks like orthodontic headgear from the Hoover administration. She turns and smiles - it's Mena Suvari! She wears a flower in her hair - and since we already know what role Ms. MeMe has been brought on board to play, let's just guess that it's a dahlia.

She rings the doorbell, which is beside a small plate that reads Dr. David Curan DDS. The door opens to reveal a nondescript white man in a white coat. "Dr. Curan, I presume?"

It is 1947, and The Black Dahlia is about to get more than her cavity filled.

We learn from some small-talk that Dr. Curan has no wife and that the young lady was referred by the excellently-named Nabby Pierce, which sounds like more of a name for a cat than a person (again, the highest form of compliment). Dahlia reminds the dentist that he "filled Nabby's cavity" and made special arrangements for Nabby because she was broke. She, of course, is also a broke aspiring actress looking for a "mutually beneficial arrangement" in terms of her dental care coverage. "It hurts, doctor - I really need you to fill it!" Good Lord, did this woman and Moira the Younger take the same Cheap Double Entendres for Every Occasion! class at The Learning Annex?

Dr Curan puts the ether mask on her, noting that he doesn't want to crush her carnation. She corrects him: "It's not a carnation, silly - it's a dahlia." The camera pans to the bottle of inhalant as he puts her under.

We cut to back outside, where a woman walking her baby finds Dahlia's eviscerated body behind a bush: "It's nothing, honey - just a department store manneHOLY SWEET TAPDANCING CHRIST WHAT IS THAT??!?!

Face slit, guts missing, skin grafted off. Sheesh. I hope he at least fixed her tooth!

Opening titles. I'm spending the time thinking about the number of aspiring actress characters that the show has featured so far, what between Dr. Charles' home practice, Constance and now The Black Dahlia. Maybe I should give Connie more credit for actually making it out alive!

Moira the Younger (Alex Breckenridge) is changing the sheets in the master bedroom. Ben (Dylan McDermott) walks in and asks her to make Violet - who is "camping out in her room" - a sandwich. She asks him to help her make the bed - but of course her definition of "making the bed" simply involves her rubbing herself all over it like a horny cat in a mint patch. She tells him their secret is safe. He says he's not interested in her pet theories about him. She says "maybe I'm crazy, like Vivian" and asks if he wants her. He says he wants her ... to make Violet a sandwich.

He also wants his wife to get better and come home, and to have a "Normal, boring family." She compliments him on his speech and he tells her to call him "Mr. Harmon", not "Ben". I think it's a little late to play that game, but whatever. She says maybe she should get to that sandwich after all and over her shoulder calls back that "it's just a matter of time - the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." Then throw it out and make it peanut butter, instead!