Project Runway Episode 401 Recap: "Sew Us What You Got"

The big loser of the night was the first eliminated designer, with the very Judith Krantzian name of “Simone LeBlanc.” Her dress, an empire-waisted little swoosh of pale colors, didn’t look bad from my living room, but apparently the construction was shoddy. The jacket, which Kors said looked like something thrown on with your eyes closed, bore no relationship to the dress, and I had trouble comprehending what she thought she was doing with it in the first place.

I honestly thought that Elisa was going to get the boot, though, because her electric blue stretchy dress with its five-foot long train of fabric scraps didn’t work, at all… the weight of the train pulled the dress out of its graceful folds, and the poor model actually tripped on it on the runway. Kors mentioned, however, that the dress itself was beautifully cut, so she squeaked through for one more round.

Lone hetero Kevin crafted a little black, metallic, and red dress that I’d have liked a closer look at. I think it had tiny red pleats around the neckline, and if it did, it was pretty brilliant. If it didn’t, it was just nice.

Overall, I thought the designs ranged from professional if a bit safe to fabulous – and I have a soft spot in my heart for out gay designer Christian, who is unbelievably only 21 years old and has a cute little Flock of Seagulls-esque hairdo and a wicked way with plaid matching and tailoring. He’s a little cocky, but then again, considering I’m twice his age and cannot even sew on a button, he’s entitled.

Speaking of fabulous, the ever-charming Tim Gunn roved around the design studio giving little nudges to the designers, which they’d have done well to take note of, although no one seemed to. He was suave and kind and helpful, with just an edge of dismay in his voice when someone was doing something that disturbed his finely-honed sense of style. He’s now heading up Liz Claiborne, Inc., so I wore my Liz Claiborne faux-fur-collared denim jacket when I walked the dogs this morning, in his honor.

Heidi Klum is one elegant woman, although she didn’t do anything beyond being decorative in the season opener. I will say I’d have happily killed to get my hands on the black patent leather six-inch-heel pumps she wore when she first met the new designers – although I wouldn’t have worn them to walk my dogs.