Survivor SnapCap: "He Has Demons." No Kidding.

Ozzie finds a hidden immunity idol

I probably was one of the few people in America watching Survivor last night instead of The X Factor. But I can't help myself, I have a thing for Jeff Probst, brightly colored buffs and immunity idols. Besides, my loyal Survivor viewing paid off: last night's ep. was heavy on the trainwreck quotient thanks to the dumbly devious machinations of Brandon Hantz. (Like his uncle Russell, he reminds me of a testicle with legs.) The episode also revealed that Big Jim, the poker pro and medical marijuana distributor, is terribly insecure and a bit of an ass.

Beefcake

Not enough, frankly. On the Savaii tribe, Keth is mighty fine to look at, but the water treatment tech is a little on the dull side. Over on Upolu, they are keeping Albert under wraps. We need to see more of him please! 

Ozzy gave the audience a bit of a show when he scampered up that palm tree to hide his newly found immunity idol, but I prefer the skinny monkey Ozzy of old. Ozzy 2.0 doesn't do it for me. Just waiting for the slimming effects of that rice diet to kick in.

Heart/Drama

The big story this episode was Brandon's insane determination to vote Mikayla out. Now Mikayla has never done anything to Brandon. In fact, she seems to hardly notice him. And that may be the problem. Brandon has been furtively lusting after her nubile young body, and apparently he takes it as her fault that he's attracted to her.

Last week he called her a "Delilah." This week he likens her to former Survivor temptress, Parvati. Only he calls her "Poverty," which is sorta ironic considering Parv won a million dollars by charming the pants off of her male tribemates.

Brandon interviews that he's determined to vote Mikayla out before she can work her evil magic on him. But Mikayla is no Parvati. She just seems like a really sweet, unassuming and athletic girl.

Her career is a bit of a mystery though. She lists "lingerie football player" as a profession. What is that? Does it mean she plays football in her lingerie? Or does she model football-themed lingerie? I'm picturing her in a fashion show: "... and now on the runway we have model Mikayla. She's wearing a teddy complete with shoulder pads and athletic cup. Doesn't she look gorgeous!"

Brandon tries convincing everyone else to vote for Mikayla. No one can really understand it since she's sweet and also great in challenges, but it really did seem like Brandon was going to sway everyone into voting for her anyway. You felt for the poor girl.

AfterElton Bait

Papa Bear, where were you this week?

Hibernating apparently.

We hardly saw you at all, and the only time you were mentioned was when Jim gloated over being the "the least cool kid at the popular table."

Jim interviews that he knows what it feels like to be on the outside and unpopular, but screw those other losers because on the Savaii tribe he's with the "In" crowd.

He thinks he's orchestrated this brilliant "three plus two plan." He and Ozzy and Keith are the core three while the two younger girls, Elyse and Whitney are the additional two.

According to Jim, that means Cochran, crazy-eyed Dawn and Papa Bear are done for and ready to be voted out, "each for their own idiosyncrasies or weaknesses. I mean, they just don't fit in. I've always been the kid that didn't always fit in, and so I know how that feels. Here I'm probably the least of the cool kids. I mean I'm at the cool kids' table... but I'm barely at the cool kids' table."

Jim really does come across as terribly insecure here. He is so happy to be a part of the in crowd that he's desperate to slam the door shut on anyone below him on the social scale. It's sorta classic.

Ironically, Keith interviews that he and Ozzie have already spoken privately, and they have an alliance that doesn't include Jim. Ha Ha! serves you right, Jim.

Challenges

It was a combo immunity/reward challenge this week and there were two components to it: some sort of maypole and then a puzzle that require sliding large blocks. It worked like this...