"The Vampire Diaries" 306: “We've Got Spirits, How 'Bout You?”

It's the first day of Senior Year at Mystic Falls High School. Go Timberwolves! But before classes start, Elena and Alaric head into the woods to train Elena on the finer points of vampire slaying. Alaric advises her to start working out because she's too weak to work his cunning slaying devices. Later outside the high school Elena, Bonnie and Caroline play a round of Bad Boyfriend Bingo, which Elena wins handily what with her boyfriend being soulless and evil and all.

Said boyfriend is playing Twister back at the ancestral home with a gaggle of compelled young women, two of whom are lying dead in the hall after apparently failing to land their right hands on red. The brothers Salvatore snipe at each other for a minute until the doorbell rings. It's Rebekah, who enters without being invited by Elena (who owns the house; bad show, that's twice now you've made that mistake). Klaus has abandoned her in Mystic Falls so she's decided to take up residence at Chez Salvatore.

Damon calls Elena to warn her that “Barbie Klaus” (thankfully someone in the writers' room realized that “Klaus Barbie” was taken) is staying at the house and, after a bit of business with Caroline and Tyler which serves to establish that the school is holding a “Spirit Night” bonfire and that Tyler is a messy eater, Elena runs into Stefan, who's once again pretending to be a high school student so he can keep an eye on Elena per Klaus's instruction. He puts his hands on her and when Alaric intervenes Stefan slams him against some lockers andkisses him long and deep warns him not to interfere.

They all wind up in Alaric's American History class, where they're joined for no good reason by Rebekah. I don't buy this for a second. Yes, she's been “abandoned” by Klaus (although he still managed to find the time while beating feet out of town to order her to keep an eye on Tyler) but a centuries old vampire can't find a better way to occupy her time than hanging out in high school? Not to mention that she has no cover story. Which doesn't stop her from showing up at cheerleading practice and informing Caroline that she intends to take her life, her popularity and her boyfriend. Said boyfriend, having grown tired of running drills in his tight football pants, compels his coach to say those three little words we've all been longing to hear, “Hit the showers!” Tragically we do not see a single shower hit.

Elena starts her workout regimen by lifting what looks to be about a twelve pound barbell when Damon enters and mocks her efforts and actually calls her “Buffy”. She wants his help to lock Stefan up until Klaus is killed and his compulsion on Stefan ends. Damon says that even uncompelled Stefan is “high” on blood. Elena tells him that she can't look at Stefan without feeling like she's going to “break” and she won't give Stefan that satisfaction. Damon softens and promises to do whatever she needs him to do.

As students gather for the bonfire, Elena lays out her plan for capturing Stefan. She'll draw him away to somewhere isolated and Alaric will shoot him with a trank dart. Caroline will prepare the “old Forbes jail cell” to hold him. Damon will distract Rebekah. Tyler wanders in late and Elena asks him to score some vervain (an herb which weakens vampires) from his mother's stash. He refuses, saying it wouldn't be in Klaus's best interest. Damon twigs that Tyler's been “sired.” He feels irrationally strong loyalty to Klaus because Klaus's blood created him. Damon tranquilizes Tyler before he can warn Stefan.

Elena's plan goes off almost without a hitch, except for Rebekah's figuring out that Damon is distracting her with s'mores and shoving a marshmallow roasting stick through his gut. Elena pretends to get drunk at the bonfire (and, time out for a second, there are kegs openly being tapped at a school sanctioned event?) and lures Stefan to the football field. She “falls” off the bleachers and he catches her and they share a look for a moment until Alaric tranks him from behind. They load Stefan into Alaric's car.