"The Vampire Diaries" 308: "Family Matters"

This week's episode of The Vampire Diaries opens with Alaric leading Elena to the Owl Cave. Damon pops out of the shadows and gives Elena a little scare, because he's 14. Alaric encourages her to ignore him, like he does. Yeah right, Ric. Damon's still mystically barred from the cave so Alaric leads Elena in, showing her the walls covered with pictograms and names in runic script. I used to be able to read runic and from what I remember it looks like the show did its homework on getting the names right. Runes are from the Vikings, so the symbols pre-date the founding of Mystic Falls by about a millennium.

A quick flashback shows Rebekah carving her name on the wall while a massively bewigged Klaus teases her about how a woman shouldn't handle a blade and how a woman's place is in the kitchen (because there are no knives in cooking or anything). She passes him the knife, blade first, cutting his palm (my old Scoutmaster would be appalled) and teases him back about not liking the sight of blood (irony!).

Back in the present, Elena's assumes that the carvings are Klaus's fakery until Ric shines his light on another name, Mikael's. Not really sure why that convinces Elena the carvings are genuine but it does. Damon tries to give the scene a dramatic payoff by referring to Mikael as “Papa Original” and, no. We will not be calling him “Papa Original” Damon. The judges may accept “Vampapa” but for now let's just stick with “Mikael,” m'kay?

Alaric photographs the drawings and studies them back at Chez Salvatore while Elena and Damon flirt-fight in the background. Alaric figures that deciphering the symbols may lead to a weapon to kill Klaus, so Elena goes to the source, Rebekah, who's at cheerleading practice. Elena shows Rebekah a photo of her name on the wall and Rebekah's initially all whatevs until Elena plays the Mikael card. Rebekah warns her not to wake Mikael but won't say why.

As she heads back to practice, Rebekah flashes back to pre-Mystic Falls. She and younger brother Heinrich watch Klaus and Elijah (who looks like a brunette elf in that wig) sword fight (sadly, not a euphemism). Klaus cuts off Elijah's belt, sparking my brief hope that his shirt will be next, until Daddy Buzzkill Mikael breaks it up. He beats Klaus down in short order and makes to put a sword through his windpipe, or at least scar him up a little, until Mom (who we later learn is named Esther) calls him off.

Elena gives Damon an update by phone while Damon checks up on Stefan. After a chat during which Damon decides Stefan has really given up on his humanity, Damon frees him and invites him to go out for drinks.

Elena gets a text from Rebekah inviting her over for a convo at Chez Salvatore. She arrives thinking they'll be talking about Mikael but Rebekah just wants her help choosing a homecoming dress from among the six she's compelled six girls to model. Elena's all I'm not here to help you shop and Rebekah's all OK then I'll start ripping out these girls' throats and Elena's all fine then, the red one. Rebekah warns Elena not to threaten her again.

Alaric has moved the research to his loft that no one on a teacher's salary could ever afford. He's identified the symbols for “vampire” and “werewolf.” Bonnie drops by to deliver Elena's indestructible necklace. The symbol on the necklace matches another symbol repeated on the cave wall, allowing Ric to identify it as “witch.” He also puts in a good word for Jeremy, calling him a jerk but assuring Bonnie that jerks eventually grow up. I have several ex-boyfriends that prove otherwise.

Back at Chez Salvatore, Rebekah goes snooping through Stefan's underwear drawer (like you wouldn't) while Elena continues to cajole her for backstory. Rebekah tells her that the family came to the New World to escape a plague in Europe guided by “the witch Ayana” who learned from the spirits of a land where everyone was healthy. They lived in peace with the neighboring werewolf tribe, hiding out in caves during the full moon. One full moon Klaus and Heinrich sneaked out to watch them change and Heinrich was killed, shattering the peaceful co-existence.

A phone call from Damon interrupts the reverie. Elena hears Stefan in the background and castigates Damon for letting him loose. Damon assures her he has it under control, then compels a bartender to let Stefan feed on her. Stefan's suspicious but Damon says there's no catch. After a commercial break the Salvatore boys are playing quarters and Stefan's tumbled to Damon's plan. Get him drunk, arouse some feelings of brotherly love and hope for a breakthrough to bring Stefan “back from the edge.” Damon scoffs that he likes the edge; the problem is Stefan's inability to stop himself from going over it.

A return to Chez Salvatore finds Rebekah reading Damon's journal (like you wouldn't) and Elena impatiently waiting for the rest of the story. Instead Rebekah taunt Elena about what a bad couple she and Stefan are (preach, sister!) and asserts that vampires can't be bothered to care about silly human lives. Elena counters that Rebekah seemed to care a lot about that homecoming dress. She heads for the door but Rebekah draws her back by telling her that the necklace belonged to the Original Witch (which Elena already knew) who not only placed the hybrid curse on Klaus (also not new information) but also turned the Original Family into vampires in the first place. That's new.

In intercuts between past and present, Mikael and Esther beg Ayana for her help to protect the family. She refuses in her oddly non-accented voice, citing the consequences. Rebekah explains to Elena that her parents saw vampirism as a way of defending themselves from the werewolves by becoming faster and stronger and able to “bite harder.” Seeing as how a single werewolf bite kills a vampire, there's a flaw in either the logic or the magic. With Ayana's refusal, Mikael says it falls to Esther. Elena asks how Esther was supposed to do anything. Rebekah drops a huge bombshell, telling Elena that Esther was not only a witch herself, but the Original Witch.

Esther called upon the Sun for life and the white oak tree for immortality. Mikael fed the family wine laced with blood and ran them all through. When they revived, Mikael fed them more blood to complete the transition. Interestingly, Rebekah drank before Klaus did.