"The Vampire Diaries" 309: "Look Out! The Homecoming Queen's Got a Stake!"

You guys, can you believe we're already at the mid-season finale? We open on Stefan placing a call to Klaus, who gets amazing cell reception for being in the middle of a forest. He reports that Portland (which looks suspiciously like the woods around Mystic Falls) is “literally a breeding ground for werewolves.” Stefan reports that Mikael has been “daggered.” Klaus demands an explanation.

This triggers a flashback to an hour ago. Stefan, Damon and Elena are at Chez Salvatore, setting up their cover story for how Mikael ended up with a dagger in him. Elena notes that Klaus will want proof that Mikael's dead. Mikael pops into the room behind them, declaring, “Then I shall be dead.” Stating that Klaus will absolutely want to see his body (him and me both, honey), Mikael unwraps an Original-killing dagger and a bottle of white oak ash and says he has a stake made from the white oak tree. He refuses to give up the location of the stake, as insurance that the Gang of Three won't leave that dagger in him. Noting that a vampire can't “dagger” an Original without dying, he hands the blade to Elena. “You want me to actually dagger you?” she asks, and I am completely over using “dagger” as a verb.

Back in the present, Klaus asks the compelled Stefan if it's really true Mikael is dead. Following a momentary flashback to Elena sticking it in Mikael, Stefan confirms it's true. Klaus demands to speak to Rebekah, who corroborates the story. Klaus says he'll be back soon and, after Rebekah hangs up, Elena pulls the dagger out of Mikael.

After the title card, Mikael revives under Rebekah's reproachful glare. She mocks how long it took him to revive and he asks where his dagger is. She replies that Elena has it so he can forget about his plan to use it on her. Mikael says he never planned to kill her but Rebekah's all I know Klaus killed Mther but it's still your fault for making us all vampires in the first place. Um, Rebekah? It was your mother who made you a vampire, remember?

Cut to the Gilbert place where Elena bemoans to Bonnie that she has nothing to wear to the homecoming dance. Hey Elena, I bet Rebekah would lend you one of her castoffs from last week. Bonnie suggests they skip the dance and stay home deciphering the Owl Cave glyphs with Alaric instead. And why are they still bothering with those?

Elena assures Bonnie she can talk to her about Jeremy, but Bonnie says that even if Elena is mad at Jeremy now, he's still her brother so she can't be mad at him like Bonnie's mad at him. And maybe it's because I was never a teenaged girl but I'm not getting Bonnie's shift in attitude. Two episodes ago she was all, I get it, you were in love with Anna and she died and now she's all “Betrayer!”

Over at ... I have no idea where so I'm going with Chez Salvatore, Damon and Elena prepare an arsenal and Elena frets that they can't trust that Rebekah won't renew her allegiance to Klaus. Damon says he's formulating a secret contingency plan. Elena asks what it is and Damon replies that if he told her it wouldn't be a secret, and normally I'd groan at that tired line but since Stefan pops in just then I must concede the point. Stefan wants to borrow a tie since he'll be guarding Elena at the dance. She suggests that he skip it but he rightly points out her terrible track record at high school functions. “With my luck you'll go ahead and get yourself murdered by the Homecoming Queen.” Paging Julie Brown!

Spying the pair's arsenal, Stefan hopes they have something better planned than wolfsbane grenades. Damon points out that the less Stefan knows, the better. Stefan snarks that their plans usually fail because someone's humanity gets in the way and with his switched off it's more likely that one of them will be the screwup.

Outside Mystic Falls High School, Caroline and Tyler are decorating a van. Tyler suggest they slip away for a bite. Caroline offers up her Thermos but Tyler tells her that Rebekah knows some people who are into being fed on. I wonder if that includes that Asian girl Rebekah fed him a few episodes back? Caroline is irked that he's hanging out with that “evil blood slut” and doesn't want to get caught by Mayor Lockwood in a “weird vampire threesome with her son”. Valid points. Caroline asks who's stuck taking Rebekah to the dance and rightly looks at Tyler like he's crazy when he says Matt agreed to take her. She accuses him of succumbing to a “sire thing” but he rejoinds that based on his hanging streamers and being coated in spray glitter, if he's “sired” to anyone it's Caroline.

Back at Chez Salvatore, Elena approaches Rebekah, who's wearing the red dress Elena chose last episode. Rebekah says that she's never been to a high school dance before, what with having been on the run for a thousand years and all. She warns Elena that there's a reason for that millennium of flight, that Mikael can't be trusted, and she muses that even with the love-hate relationship she's had with Klaus she never thought she'd have a hand in killing him. Brightening, she asks Elena how she looks. Elena says she's just missing one thing and holds out the necklace that originally belonged to Rebekah's mother. She clasps it around Rebekah's neck. Rebekah admires it but suddenly contorts in pain because Elena has stabbed her with the dagger.

Damon covers Rebekah with a sheet while Elena feels guilty about stabbing her. Damon tries and fails to make her feel better by saying it was “a very Katherine thing to do.” Elena frets that she's the “weak link” because of her humanity but Damon assures her he has a plan, one that doesn't involve her at all.

Oh no! The gym is flooded and the Homecoming Dance is canceled! Caroline calls Elena who hopes it means she won't have to go. No such luck, since Tyler has volunteered his place as a substitute venue. “Kegs and beer pong at Homecoming? That's...different,” says Elena, who's apparently forgotten the kegs and beer pong at the Spirit Dance a few weeks ago. The doorbell rings and it's Matt, there to pick up Rebekah. Elena advises him there's a bit of a problem with that.