"True Blood" (2.12) SECOND SEASON FINALE: Beyond Here Lies Nothin'

Worship him, bitches!

The second season of HBO's True Blood wrapped up last night with a schizophrenic episode that began with a bloody sacrifice and ended with a Jerrod's commercial. In between was an attempt to wrap up loose ... entrails, and provide a set-up for next season's storylines. I'm hoping it's werewolves.

We begin with Maryann preparing for her nuptials, with Sookie as her "maid of honor". Sookie is outraged, but she should count her blessings ... her maid of honor dress is actually pretty hot, and not made of creamsicle orange taffeta like most M.O.H. dresses I've seen.

She's got it ... yeah baby she's got it.

Maryann tries to goad Sookie into using her "powers", but I guess Sookie's not worked up enough. Maryann admits that Sookie is really just the bait to lure Sam out of hiding. She notes that he'll make the perfect "wedding gift" for her God Dionysus, and is sure to mention a couple times in this episode that he's "bull-horned". Remember that. It might come in to play later.

I always cry at bestial sacrifices

After some extreme silliness involving Sookie forced to lick a bloody ostrich egg (and I can just imagine Anna Paquin's face as she opened her script and saw "Sookie, having been tied up and with a crown of plastic flowers on her head, is forced to drink from a goblet of Clamato and lick the giant plaster egg"), Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, aka Jason and Andy, prepare for their infiltration of Grandma's house.

Jason continues his channeling of Norm Crosby with this eye-rolling malapropism: "I love the smell of nail polish in the morning". Unfortunately, within thirty seconds of coming to the rescue, both Andy and Jason are turned into black-eyed zombies, spouting inanities and acting like horny teenagers (gee, it's a good thing for the black eyes, or we'd never have known Jason was turned).

They join the Bon Temps block party, which is preparing for the sacrifice. You know, like every neighborhood block party has.