“True Blood” Episode 411 Recap: “All for Some (Rhymes with Trash) in a Sundress”

Cable TV has a tradition, I think begun with The Sopranos, where the second-to-last episode of any given season is the one where the serious sh*t goes down. In other words, the penultimate episode is usually the ultimate one, at least in terms of awesomeness.

That’s certainly been the case with True Blood in seasons past. And from this latest episode, it seems to be a pattern that now continues, with several storylines neatly tied up in a pat 50 minutes. And then something else happens that’s so surprising, I’m still trying to get my head around it.

All that and some brilliant Pam one-liners made this an episode to remember …

GOODNIGHT MOON (GODDESS EMPORIUM)

Picking up right where we left off, we see the Mission Impossible Vampire Squad approaching the Moon Goddess Emporium, missile launcher in tow.

Jessica snarks that she’s sick of being silvered all day and being in a perpetual bad mood, claiming it’s just like PMS. I’ve never had PMS, but I’ve had low caffeine days that have left me feeling pretty grumpy, so I think I can sympathize. (Editorial note from Steven’s husband: “Grumpy? Ha! If only. Let’s just say he makes Nancy Grace seem pleasant.”)

Bill asks his crew if they’re ready to end it that very night. They agree they are, with Pam emphasizing that she wants to get this done in a hurry because, “I’ve got a mani-pedi at 4.” You and me both, sister. (BTW, Pam, after weeks of being sorely missing, is just on fire this week, each one liner better than the last.)

So the crew is all about to blast Marnie’s shop into one big steaming pile of hemp and sachet droppings, when Jason comes running over all, “Stop! Sookie’s in there!” Bill, no smarter now than the day we first met him, is all, “But I told her to stay out of this,” and Eric is all, “Seriously dude? Have you ever actually met the woman?”

This leads to a rousing chorus of “F**ing Sookie!” from everybody … Eric, Bill, Pam, me. You should join in too. It’s fun! Go ahead, sing along … “F**ing Sookie!”

Jason takes offense at this, and reminds Bill and Eric of all Sookie’s done for them, stuff only a faithful, loving companion would do, like giving her blood to save their lives, and that time she helped Eric move all his crap out of storage.

Remembering this, Bill says they’ve got to call off the mission, and Eric agrees. But Pam is having none of it, saying, “Holy frijoles, gentlemen. You really want us to risk extinction of our species all for some (rhymes with trash) in a sundress?”

Then Bill’s sheriffs, under Mantonia’s control, rush out and try to eat everybody.

Meanwhile, inside the shop, Mantonia’s all, “None of you are my prisoners. Anybody who wants out just needs to say the word.” And she holds up a dagger and says they can feel free to use that up against the vampires outside.

So then this one woman – turns out her name is Casey – gets all freaked out and says she’s going to get herself out. Casey is what we in the recapping business refer to as a “red shirt” or “expendable extra.” She’s clearly been here all this time lurking in the background just waiting to die at some point, but at least she’s got it better than most in that I think she may have had a line or two along the way.

Also, just to take the sting out of her passing, they’ve got her wearing these weird leg warmer things on her arms, and who among us, seeing that, wouldn’t want her dead at this point?

So she rushes Mantonia, and Mantonia makes the dagger lift up and stab Casey in the stomach. Everybody shrieks over this, and Mantonia tries to say it wasn’t her fault, it was just self defense. To quote the “Cell Block Tango”, “she ran into my knife … ten times.”