Shear Genius Recap – 1.1 – “Carrot Top in Drag”

Also not blonde? Jim's client. Her hair has turned out an unfortunate shade of orangey-pink. Some of the other stylists appear to be openly laughing at the results. How rude. Dr. Boogie says she looks like Carrot Top in drag. The funniest/saddest part is he's kind of right.

Daisy's client is extremely unhappy with her new look. She says there's not much change except for the color, which she didn't even want and clearly doesn't like. She looks like she's about to burst into tears at any minute. As the recipient of my share of bad haircuts in the past, I can sympathize. It's an awful feeling. I think it's pretty clear that either Daisy or Jim will be getting Jaclyn's “this is your final cut” tonight.

Commercials! Have you seen that new commercial for Bluefly.com? It's so steamy with the sex scene then the woman getting out of the shower. You see her entire naked backside [just like we're in Europe or Canada or someplace else equally grown-up. Sigh .—Michael Jensen] Why couldn't it be the hot guy who was naked? [Don't these advertisers know who the hell watches Bravo? It sure ain't straight boys looking to buy fancy electronic gadgets their wives are too smart to let them get.— Michael Jensen]

Judging Panel! The judges are Jaclyn, head judge and celebrity stylist Sally Hershberger (Does anyone know if she's a lesbian? She sets off my gaydar.), Michael Carl, fashion director for Allure Magazine, and guest judge Roy Teeluck. [Josh gets bonus points for not making obvious puns about Roy 's last name.— Michael Jensen] The stylists will be judged on technical ability, style interpretation, and client satisfaction. It's not looking good for Daisy since she failed miserably at all three. Not that Jim did much better.

The models walk the runway in what Jaclyn calls a “hair show.” Given the way some of them swing their arms and hips, they've clearly been watching America 's Next Top Model. After the models strut their stuff, they sit down in front of their stylists for a quick Q&A with the judges.

Tabatha goes first. The judges love the cut, style, and color, but the client would have liked the back to be a little shorter. [Did she see what some of the others got? And she's whining about this? This is so what's wrong with the world today! Somebody shove a can of hair spray in her mouth to shut her up!— Michael Jensen]

Evangelin's cut looks less like Halle Berry and more like something you'd get at the local mall, but what do I know? Her client seems to love it, even though she has this bizarre Cameron Diaz There's Something About Mary thing going on upfront. The judges seem to like it, too, even though the make fun of the bit standing up in the front.