Shear Genius Recap 1.3 - "They're Bloody Crying Already"

Judging: Under intense questioning, Tyson admits that he considers Tabatha his toughest competition. They ask Tabatha what she thought of her tool selection, and she says the safety scissors were a challenge since they have no real blades. She still did an amazing job. Her model looks great... as long as you ignore the clothes.

Ben tells the judges that his garden shears were spring loaded and, hence, very difficult to use. Wah wah wah. Garren doesn't like the style. Neither do I. Sally says she liked her original color better. Me, too. It's not looking good for Ben.

Daisy's style turned out really well, especially considering she used a box cutter. Her model loves it.

The judges are disappointed that Dr. Boogie played it so safe. I think we're all a little disappointed by that, Mystery Man.

Jaclyn says she wouldn't have let Evangelin near her with those hedge clippers. That's because Jaclyn is sane. Despite my strong negative feelings for Evangelin, I have to admit her model looks amazing. I can't believe she did that with hedge clippers.

They ask Theodore if he feels he made the right decision in choosing a model with curly hair, and he says he's familiar with the texture because it's very much like his and his mother's hair. The judges don't seem very pleased. Oh, dear. I'm feeling a little sick and I don't think it's the vodka.

Deliberations: The judges thought Tyson did poorly. Tabatha did surprisingly well with what she had to work with. Ben shouldn't have darkened his model's hair and the style is bad. Garren says, "It can be recut." Oh, burn!

Daisy did the good version of what Ben tried to do. They all liked Boogie's model's hair better before the haircut. That's never good. Sally would have given her a shag. Well, duh. Sally would probably give everybody a shag. (Heh. That sounds funny if you speak Brit slang.)

Evangelin gets a 100 from Jaclyn just based on the tool she used. I think Jaclyn is still scared that Evangelin is allowed to have hedge clippers. The judges are impressed with her results, though. I grudgingly admit I am too.

They really hate Theodore's cut, saying it looks like a helmet. I didn't think it looked that bad. I can see where this is going and I'm going to need a few more shots to get through it. (Michael, I hope AfterElton.com will pay for my alcohol abuse counseling. [I provide that service free. It's called Stop Drinking Now or YOU'RE FIRED. — Michael Jensen])

Top Three: Jaclyn calls out Daisy, Tabatha, and Evangelin. Tabatha has been top three almost every time so far. She really is the one to watch out for. Then again, Evangelin has somehow managed to get into the top three several times as well.

Evangelin wins. As much as I can't stand her, she kind of deserved it. It wasn't really the best cut or style of the challenge, but when you consider she was using hedge clippers, it really gave her an edge. Hee! I love bad puns.

She cries, of course, and jabbers on about being unpredictable. Crazy people usually are. I predict this win will go to her already addled head.

The Cut: Ben, Theodore, and Dr. Boogie are the bottom three. Ben is safe and is sent back almost immediately. I saw this coming but kept hoping I was wrong. Please, let it be Dr. Boogie! Please, let it be Dr. Boogie! Please, let it be Dr. Boogie! (No offense, Dr. Boogie.)

It's Theodore.

My heart breaks a little. Be right back. I need to finish off this bottle of Level.

'Kay. I'm back. Sortta. The screensa lil bit blurry and won't shtay shtill. Shtop shpinning screen! Jdsauh/jk,bnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Some time later... Anyway, so Theodore gives this adorable little speech about how he's only 22 but he's already had so many incredible experiences, and, watch out, world, he's just getting started! He ends by saying, "These boots are made for walking, so let's do it!" He struts from the room like he's working the runway on America's Next Top Model. Man, I'm going to miss him. [Seriously, Josh? I guess we'll never be interested in the same guys. — Michael Jensen]

Later, he breaks down a little in his exit interview. It's all very sweet and sincere. Good luck, sweetie!

Next week: Lots more drama, naturally. There seems to be a bitchy judge of some sort. Someone, I think Ben, is doing a mullet. Why? WHY? Can't the world's ugliest hairstyle just die in peace? But more importantly, how will I go on without Theodore? [Well, you will or you'll go on without a paycheck. — Michael Jensen]

Oh yeah, and with Theodore's exit, we're down to only one openly gay contestant. As Brian noted on the blog this past week, the gay boys haven't been doing so well lately on these Bravo competitions usually associated with gay stereotypes. Straight guys have won Project Runway, Top Chef, and Top Design. Come on, Anthony! We're all rooting for you! We're here, we're queer, and we can win something, damn it!

See you next week.