Shear Genius Recap 1.5 - "The Evil Leprechaun"

Whew! Talk about a rollercoaster ride of an episode! I was emotionally drained by the time the credits rolled. My favorites seemed to be in danger throughout the whole show. I think I developed an ulcer. Do I get hazard pay for this? [Note to self: Don't ever assign Josh to write about anything truly serious. It might kill him— Michael Jensen]

The show starts with Jaclyn Mail — which doesn't have the same ring as Tyra Mail. You know what would have been cute? If Jaclyn had delivered her messages unseen through a speaker ala Charlie's Angels. Right? Note to Bravo: Feel free to use that next season. Anyway, Jaclyn's message reads, "It's time for a trim."

Somehow, from that simple message, Danna decides they will be grooming dogs. Huh? Did I miss something? How did she get there from that? I really hope she doesn't have some inside information. Dogs would be dumb. [But a range of exotic zoo animals would have been great — Michael Jensen] At any rate, it really freaks out Tabatha. She says if there are dogs at the salon when they arrive, she's walking out. She probably would, too. [Only after kicking the stuffing out of Tyson— Michael Jensen]

Boogie thinks the message means someone will get eliminated. It wouldn't be the first time the Short Cut Challenge led to elimination, so it's not that far-fetched. Some of the others agree.

Tabatha thinks it could be a challenge involving men's haircuts and she thinks Boogie would win because he's used to using clippers.

Let's see who is right.

Short Cut Challenge: Jaclyn greets the stylists and apparently she's heard the rumors too. She says, "So you think there's an elimination?" She asks Boogie who he'd like to see go, and he picks Tyson and Ben. Ben thinks Boogie is threatened. I think you should not back Boogie in a corner. He strikes me as potentially dangerous.

Jaclyn tells them there is no elimination and then introduces the guest judge, Christophe. Hey! I've heard of him. Cool. The actual challenge does not involve dogs. It is, in fact, men. [Who often are dogs. But I digress— Michael Jensen] To be more specific, it's creepy, long-haired men, all of whom look as if this is their first trip out of the basement in a while. The stylists have one hour to take them from geek to chic (Brian Juregens: How very Can't Buy Me Love). Good luck with that. An hour might not cut it for some of these guys.

Danna gets to pick first since she won the last challenge, then the others choose scissor boxes with numbers in them to determine their order. They all pick the hairy guys. Go!

Hey, wait! Where's the Allure cover? Doesn't Danna get a cover? Oh, maybe it's because they're not at the Nexxus Salon yet. I guess we'll see it later.

If I were one of the stylists, my first stop would be the shampoo sink. I mean we're talking... greasy. This is a barber shop, though, so I guess they don't have shampoo sinks there? I go to a salon so I wouldn't know. (Brian Juergens: Only your hairdresser knows for sure, Josh…)

Tabatha's blonde haired "rocker" dude hopes he'll get his first girlfriend now. I think it'll take more than a haircut, sweetie. He could be potentially cute, but he puts out a major Dungeons & Dragons vibe. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just sayin'...

Boogie is doing some interesting things with his hirsute subject. [He's also cutting his hair— Michael Jensen] I'm eager to see how that turns out. Tyson, who is hard at work trying to take Evangelin's place as resident loony, tell his client, "You know why I picked you last? Because I'm the best." Uh, no. It's because you picked the box with the last number in it and nobody else wanted the big scary guy with the curly hair.

Tabatha says Tyson is a FIGJAM, which stands for "F**k I'm Good, Just Ask Me. " Hahahaha! [I'd never heard that before and have to admit it cracked me up— Michael Jensen]

Tyson starts flatironing the guy's hair. Look, I have no problem with guys using a flatiron, although God knows it sometimes gets out of hand. (I'm looking at you, Seacrest.) But let's just say this guy does not look like the flatiron type.

Tabatha finishes up this trip down Insanity Lane by saying Tyson is an evil leprechaun and she wants to kick his ass. Evil leprechaun. Troll. Same difference. I love Tabatha because we think so much alike. [Maybe you're really a lesbian, Josh! — Michael Jensen]

Results: Tyson's guy looks ridiculous. There's no way he's going to go through all that trouble on a regular basis. Besides which, it doesn't suit his face at all. Daisy's client is an actor and she made him look sleazy. Ben's guy looks much better and he seems to like it. Anthony didn't do a very good job. It just doesn't work. Tabatha's boy looks much better and Christophe seems impressed. Dr. Boogie's client turned out to be a sleeper hottie. Rowr! His style turned out amazingly sexy. Tabatha may be right. Boogie may well win this one. Danna's guy didn't want to go short, so there wasn't much she could do. It's not great.

The top two are Dr. Boogie and Tabatha. Christophe awards a surprise win to Tabatha. I cheered at the time, but it will turn out to be a bad thing in the long run. You'll see.